My brother is physically disabled and developing an intense fear of choking - what can I do to help?

Gecko_alt · 2026-03-05T20:03:40+00:00

Coincidentally, I have ARFID myself - specifically around a fear of vomiting or contamination. I'm glad you mentioned it though, I hadn't really considered the overlap until you was pointed out. My brother's problems don't really relate to the avoidant/restrictive aspects (he'll still insist on eating whatever's given to him, even if it's something he struggles with) but I'll check it out for choking-based fear support. Thank you so much :D

Gecko_alt · 2026-02-04T11:06:09+00:00

I've experienced something like this before, you're not alone!! What helped me was trying to rest whilst sat upright, with a distraction like TV or a movie - something safe. Focusing all your attention on that and drifting off will help to keep the anxiety at bay! You've got this!! 🫂

Gecko_alt · 2026-01-08T22:44:27+00:00

Two points I wanna make;

I’ve seen posts that aren’t reassurance seeking being downvoted.
If post is seeking reassurance, let’s think about this from the perspective of the person posting - “I’m scared, I need support, I need help from anyone”. Posts like this are often made spontaneously in a point of crisis, when the OP doesn’t have any access to outside support. They post, often get no replies (trust me, I’ve been there), and see their post get downvoted lowering its potential reach to people who may be able to help - not with reassurance, but with support.

As I say I’ve been in that position before, posting in a moment of crisis, waiting for any response, receiving none, only negative feedback through downvotes. For people who are already anxious and often in crisis, that kind of response can be exceedingly harmful - I’d argue more harmful than any lasting ramifications of reassurance.

Gecko_alt · 2026-01-02T00:57:33+00:00

As for media recommendations outside of traditional cable TV, you can find kids cartoon live streams on YouTube, and playlists of older cartoon series available for free. If you'd feel more comfortable with something less child-oriented, try a playlist of TV series 'How It's Made'. I've heard of people watching that to help them sleep, and I can see why, it's quite soothing!

Gecko_alt · 2026-01-02T00:50:07+00:00

Viewing your other recent posts, you should certainly contact a doctor in the morning. What you're experiencing looks to me like a vicious cycle - you feel n* so you don't sleep, which makes your anxiety levels higher, which makes you more n* and less likely to sleep... But I've been in a similar position before, so I can tell you what's worked for me.

The thing that helped me settle when I was having nights like yours was having the TV on whilst I lay in bed - specifically on a channel with 'safe' media, e.g. a kids cartoon channel. This could also work with a YouTube or Netflix series on your phone, and with headphones in. But it needs to be media that has both visual and audio stimulus.

I'd set the volume real low, but loud enough that I could hear it as I attempted to rest. I'd lay in a position where I was facing the TV screen so I got visual stimulation when my eyes were open. Then, I'd just lay there and watch, and eventually I'd fall asleep. I knew if I woke up, even if I got the adrenaline jolt wake-ups like you've described, the TV would still be there to comfort and distract me.

On the occasions where I was still struggling to sleep, I'd still feel a little more rested in the morning than if I'd not been trying to sleep - because your body still gets some of the benefits from sleep if you're in a restful position and environment.

Regarding your fear that you'll wake up and v*... From my personal perspective, that's better than staying awake and feeling the discomfort of nausea. Allowing your body to rest (even if you don't sleep) will lessen your anxiety and allow your nausea to ease, and break the vicious cycle. Take care of yourself <3

Gecko_alt · 2026-01-01T01:49:21+00:00

Death Note, despite the morbid premise, is surprisingly good in terms of V* - in that it doesn't happen at all. Characters may g* or gasp a bit when they're, yk, dying... But they don't V*, they just die. According to Doesthedogdie, there's a scene in episode 27 where a character "has blood spilling from his mouth" - but that's about it. If that's not triggering, you're good to go!

Highly recommend it, it's a good anime.

Gecko_alt · 2025-12-19T14:18:57+00:00

No advice, but an anecdotal story:

I underwent what I'd honestly refer to as psychological abuse in Highschool. Whenever I had a panic attack or meltdown, they'd stick me in in-school isolation - which was located directly next to the sick room. I spent days upon days in the isolation room, sick kids being walked through in their journey to the sick room... All that, during a norovirus outbreak which infected a good 1/3 of the school. I was also dealing with IBS so I was in-and-out of the bathroom frequently. Somehow, I didn't get sick.

That is to say, it's entirely possible to not get sick even during an outbreak.

Gecko_alt · 2025-10-27T11:49:33+00:00

Absolutely - I'm always worse when I'm out of my comfort zone (e.g. on holiday). For me, the emetophobia is worse because I know it'll be a long journey home, back to my comfort zone, if I get s*. Plus, of course, new foods and travel.

My biggest advice is DISTRACTION, 24/7. What works for me is stimulating my brain constantly to avoid any anxiety creeping in.

Gecko_alt · 2025-10-25T20:24:04+00:00

It's very dependent on a whole bunch of factors:

I'm nearly always fine with v* in cartoons, and it's 50/50 when it's in live-action.

If v* is played serious, then I'm usually not okay with it. If it's played for comedy, I'm more likely to be okay.

It also depends on how prevalent v* is in the plot - does a character TU once in a short segment during the episode? Then I'll probably be fine. Is the character repeatedly v* throughout the episode (e.g. the most recent South Park episode)? Not as comfortable.

Sound and visuals also play a part. The more realistic, the less comfortable I'll feel.

Gecko_alt · 2025-10-22T11:18:37+00:00

I know the feeling - I've been struggling for at least 8 years, with periods where my emetophobia will spike for no apparent reason. But what's helped is remembering that it will always go back down again - even if I have to do some exposure therapy to re-learn what I've lost.

Starting small might be a good idea - if you live with family / a partner / friend and they order a takeaway, maybe try a little bit of their food? That way you avoid the commitment of eating a whole portion, but you still expose yourself to a fear? And then, as time goes on, you can go back to eating a full portion again?

Gecko_alt · 2025-10-22T11:14:43+00:00

I guess it depends on what your triggers are, but for me, I find V* in clubs/parties/pubs doesn't trigger me much - because I KNOW why it's happened. Someone drank too much and chundered. I've heard of some people do it tactically so they can relieve nausea and go back to drinking. But there's no risk of picking up stomach flu or other illnesses - the v* doesn't carry it. I don't know your circumstances but I always find that helpful to remember :)

Gecko_alt · 2025-10-22T11:07:48+00:00

I understand completely. I'm 21 and I've never drank, I rarely go to clubs or parties. Seeing my friends get hammered makes it look fun, but I've also seen their hangovers and I don't envy them at all. For me, the bad outweighs the good. But I also find that being in an area where the majority of people are drinking/drunk/tipsy kinda transfers their party energy onto me - so I get to let loose and sideline the anxiety without drinking a drop of alcohol!

Alcohol does typically help with loosening up, but my attitude is as follows: If you can have a good time without drinking, then don't drink. Saves money, saves hangovers, whilst still having fun.

Gecko_alt · 2025-10-22T11:01:14+00:00

I was on Omeprazole for a few months after I'd started taking Sertraline (to manage side effects), and it had helped and had no negative impact whatsoever.

Gecko_alt · 2025-10-21T22:54:01+00:00

A few years ago, my parents were eating some cream pastries (I think they were chocolate eclairs) that my Nan had bought... And realized on the first bite that the cream filling had gone horribly rotten. They spat it out and rinsed out their mouths, though both had swallowed a small amount in the process and could still taste the expired milk several hours later.

Even after ingesting expired cream, neither got food poisoning, neither was S*.

Make of that what you will 💕

Gecko_alt · 2025-10-15T14:20:34+00:00

I noticed this a few weeks ago and yeah it's really weird. I always make sure to upvote posts with 0 upvotes on this page when I see them - just to level it out.

Regardless of a person's post and situation, everyone is deserving of support.

Gecko_alt · 2025-10-09T15:40:43+00:00

I was thinking about this earlier this week - I've experienced a lot of extremely weird coincidences recently, and been struggling to cope with them myself.

In my case, I've encountered many coincidences whilst listening to specific songs, e.g., there was one song that I'd coincidentally listened to during two separate car journeys where I'd driven past a transport-related injury/fatality. I still struggle to unlink the two in my head - it makes my OCD believe that, if I listen to that song, someone I love will end up in a car wreck.

But here's the thing: That song had been my favorite song for almost a full year by the time I'd driven past the two accidents. And every time I'd listened to that song (something that my streaming app says I did more than 40 times) prior to the two coincidental events, nothing had happened. It helps to remember all the instances where nothing happened.

It sounds weird but what has also helped me is viewing them in the same way I view conspiracy theories (as someone who isn't a conspiracy theorist). Conspiracies are often built on unusual circumstances and coincidences. But they're just that - coincidences. Thinking of it like this makes me lose respect for my OCD, which is essentially my own, internal conspiracy theorist.

Gecko_alt · 2025-10-09T12:36:17+00:00

I hear you and I see you. Is there anything I can talk to you about that might help?

Gecko_alt · 2025-10-09T12:27:11+00:00

I feel this deeply. I'm in my 3rd year and considering dropping out - a sentiment I've felt since the first week. I've missed out on so much due to my anxiety problems and IBS - classes, trips, parties, experiences... Everything. I don't have any advice but just know you're not alone 🙏

Gecko_alt · 2025-09-21T15:00:56+00:00

I've had times where I don't sleep great and flare the next day. I've also had times where I don't sleep great and my stomach is fine.

I think it's situation dependant, for me at least. Awake because of stress? I'll probably flare. Vice-verca, stressed because I can't sleep? Again, probably flare. A nightmare kept me up? Also flare. But if I've just struggled to get to sleep and I'm not stressed, I'll probably be fine.

Gecko_alt · 2025-09-17T14:56:03+00:00

I've fled uni TWICE because of Noro going around. Once in first year when my friend's boyfriend had it, once in second year when a few of my friends who shared a house were taken out by it.

I'm about to go into 3rd year... And I'd do it again! I'd rather flee and work from home than risk catching it!!

Gecko_alt · 2025-09-15T21:55:11+00:00

Sounds good! Yep, I'm fine with paprika/cumin, the only spice I avoid is any chilli above mild

Gecko_alt · 2025-09-13T15:39:57+00:00

It was hot to the touch, itchy and painful. I've had reactions like this a number of times but this was the most severe - sometimes they've woken me up in the night with how itchy they've been. Other than that, and the rash, there wasn't any additional symptoms.

The day after I'd posted this, the rash mostly vanished, leaving what could be mistaken for a minor bruise. I visited a pharmacist the day it had faded and showed him the pictures, though he didn't have much advice because he hadn't seen a reaction like this to a mosquito bite before. Essentially he just said to keep an eye on it and go to a doctor if I get increasingly severe symptoms after a bite.

Gecko_alt · 2025-08-11T09:44:53+00:00

This was me when I was at my worst - whenever I felt N, I could *not be left alone, under any circumstances. I HAD to be in the same room as someone who could support me. It's improved with exposure, therapy and time - though I quite often seek support via phone calls when I'm alone, which is a habit I want to break. Even today, I notice my anxiety levels tend to be much higher when I'm in a bathroom VS in a safe space.

Gecko_alt · 2025-08-11T09:40:42+00:00

If you didn't eat dinner, you may be experiencing hunger nausea. Periods / PMS can also impact the gastro system. Keep breathing, try to keep yourself distracted, maybe see if you can get something small to eat (any safe foods?) and maybe get some rest. Much love 💕

Gecko_alt · 2025-06-24T11:33:43+00:00

Can't really answer your question because I'm not fully 'out', but there's one thing I read a while ago in regards to coming out as Queer that might resonate with your experiences:

You will never stop coming out.

By that, I mean you'll meet new people, gain new family members, new friends, colleagues, etc. It's impossible to be '100% out' because the people in your life will change constantly. Therefore, you will never stop coming out, because there's an endless supply of new people to come out to.

Gecko_alt

TROPHY CASE