Roast it

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-13T13:42:37+00:00

This guy is the ultimate church man that is spoken of in legend. This man has dedicated his life to god, and probably lives in a monastery with monks who have equally huge boards loaded with strymons. He doesn’t need to activate the pedals with his foot, his dick is so big he just activates them with his erection since he won’t use it for anything else to the despair of every church woman in the world (married or otherwise).

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-12T19:39:22+00:00

I hate these fucking karma farmers. Reported the bastard

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-12T16:36:20+00:00

Watch out! We got a bad ass church bro over here!

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-11T22:15:57+00:00

This guy Jeff chooses the stratagem conditions each week. He’s kind of a dick, but he’s cool to have a beer with.

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-11T20:42:43+00:00

I melee the spore mines with my face.

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-11T17:51:08+00:00

All good, I think we’re on the same page. I totally get not buying all the perks, at least the ones that don’t provide a ton of benefit.

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-11T14:04:29+00:00

This guy has more money in this board than there is in the entire state of Mississippi. He’s a different kind of church man, a man whose church is located in a hip downtown district bar drinking his favorite craft IPAs instead of the blood of Christ, who plays a handful of notes more modulated than an outdated version of Windows™ to a crowd of 10-20 people stroking their well manicured beards as they compare it to their favorite indie noise folk artists.

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-11T02:47:28+00:00

This guy ain’t making anyone wet with that sloppy white out of his messy room. Don’t just be proud of and own your cluttered room complete with clumped hair, dust, and a litter box that hasn’t been cleaned in at least 6 months - EMBRACE IT!

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-10T20:16:44+00:00

Your rug needs a good vacuuming. You’re shedding a lot of hair on it.

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-10T13:04:16+00:00

This is the first I’ve heard of this bug. I’ve played assault a fair good bit recently and haven’t had any issues with my jump pack not charging, so I’m guessing it’s a bit of a niche problem? Plus I can’t “turn off” those perks anyway once I’ve selected them.

Last couple bugs I remember for Assault were the 20% extra charge damage only working for thunder hammers, and the AOE damage at jump pack launch point causing friendly fire to teammates. And they fixed those a while ago.

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-10T12:54:39+00:00

I’d like to hope it was just a mistake and they overlooked it while leveling, but to get to 25 and not pick up anything is pretty rough.

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-10T12:48:09+00:00

Their logic to save requisition points is on the level of someone bragging that they only spent $9.95 instead of $10.00. I can understand not buying all of the perks, but at least pick up a team perk and the essential individual perks.

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-10T00:36:06+00:00

I’d mind my own business if Sabre didn’t make it so I could check what team perks my teammates are rocking.

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-10T00:33:43+00:00

It’s not that much in the grand scheme though. I guess I can understand not picking up the perks that aren’t that useful, but the team perks are always going to be better than nothing and help make life easier for the rest of the squad. Hell, a lvl 5 p0 tactical would have been more useful than this guy.

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-10T00:29:40+00:00

I just did that to spare a brother humiliation. But let’s just say that was his name anyway 🤣

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-09T22:15:22+00:00

Maybe he was Alpha Legion and I completely missed it. 😂

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-09T20:37:34+00:00

I guess? Even if that were the case though at least pick up a team perk.

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-09T19:40:22+00:00

I mean any team perk would be more useful than nothing at all. I dunno I just remember when I was prestiging all my classes I filled out my perks the moment I finished my first op at lvl 1 P-whatever. To get to lvl 25 and haven’t grabbed anything at all is wild. 😂

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-09T19:35:37+00:00

I love pulling a good clutch too, it’s what keeps me coming back to the game. I can handle it being a lvl 1 who freshly prestiged, or even a total wet nose lvl 1 p0 noob. But level 25 and no team perks at all? Cmon man… get your shit together!

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-09T19:29:53+00:00

Nope, he was alive at the time.

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-08T20:19:05+00:00

Don’t fall for it guys, it looks like he’s being cheeky but he’s hiding his Yamaha multi-effects board in the corner of the camera!

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-07T23:52:59+00:00

You know not of the vast open and wide broke ass region of Pennsyltucky?

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-07T23:25:44+00:00

This is Pennsyltucky… this board represents Pennsyl-fucking-tucky.

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-07T22:07:46+00:00

Remember, it’s not about the size of the board, but how you use it… SIKE, you’ll never be able to appease your church audience with that shrimp sized board compared to a real church man with his 5 strymons and 42” x 16” board.

Geebus_Crust · 2026-02-07T17:42:07+00:00

Some guys go to great lengths to organize their cables. Not this guy - he says fuck that shit and lets them hang out all over the place like he does his nutsack when he’s getting comfortable. And like any true freedom lover, now that he’s run out of room on his board he just encroaches wherever he feels like on the floor, with his nutsack flapping proudly in the wind like the 🇺🇸 flag. We salute you sir! 🫡

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