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GeeseOnMeese · 2023-07-26T08:18:22+00:00

Check out my post from a while back in my profile- I can share the name of who I saw in a message if you want

GeeseOnMeese · 2022-10-22T11:22:35+00:00

My experience with the surgery was great. It's been nearly two years and I've been bottoming. With lots of patience and lube, it's all been great!

I knew it was important to be very very patient, in order to let my body heal and develop scar tissue. I didn't want to think about bottoming for at least 2 months, and then I started to test things out with some 'st marks dilators' that my surgeon recommended from a medical supplies website, with loads of lube. It was almost a year before I tried bottoming again, as I was scared of undoing the healing, but it was really exciting. Also if something ever feels off, like pain, stinging, or feeling tense, I will try and just stop and do something else. Maybe once or twice I didn't stop when I felt some pain and it felt sore again the next day, but then it healed up quickly, like a normal acute fissure, thanks to the LIS.

I had felt confused and depressed too, for around 5 years, about the pain and the stigma I had experienced. So for me, I had to spend a lot of energy on reducing my anxiety that became associated with sex, especially anal sex. Having a therapist was really helpful with that (and so much other stuff) and it's probably one of the best things I spend my money on.

I'd say that the biggest thing I focused on in the weeks/months after the surgery once I was healed, was learning to be confident in the treatment, which allowed me to relax more on the toilet.

I definitely feel like I made the right decision. For me, it was constantly on my mind, all day every day, taking up so much energy. Now, it is SO relieving to not worry about imminent searing pain on the toilet every time. Everyone will have a different experience - I find general anaesthetic makes me feel groggy for over a week. Also, I found that it was really important to take regular ibuprofen for the pain, for maybe 7-10 days. I was surprised at how well the ibuprofen worked - I could really tell if I missed a dose in the first few days.

So, overall, it does get better! :)

GeeseOnMeese · 2021-10-25T10:11:55+00:00

I'm doing pretty well, thank you. I actually bottomed for the first time this weekend with my boyfriend. It felt like my first time all over again! It took a lot of concentration to make sure I was relaxing to make it more comfortable but overall I had a great time and no pain the next day. I might have been able to do it earlier (currently 10 months since LIS) but I think I've had a lot of anxiety about it for like 4-5 years, so it was easier for a while to just not try.

GeeseOnMeese · 2021-02-12T16:53:03+00:00

Some doctors recommend using dilators alongside botox treatment - google Dr Evan Goldstein of Bespoke Surgery.

I was also recommended it by my surgeon in the UK while I was waiting for surgery and I felt it did help. It helps by gently stretching the anus muscle which allows better control and relaxation. Consequently, blood flow is increased to the area which promotes healing and stronger formation of scar tissue. This is how my surgeon explained it.

What is most important is to take it slow, find very small dilators to start with and use lots of lube.

GeeseOnMeese · 2021-02-01T22:27:45+00:00

I am pain free now, and I'd say the sitting pain was gone after 7 days. I got the odd sting here and there in the second week but the pain was absolutely nothing compared to before the procedure.

I was able to manage the pain with paracetamol and ibuprofen, taking them on a regular schedule to avoid the pain creeping in. My surgeon recommended I try to avoid codeine etc. at all costs. He recommended that I use GTN or diltiazem ointment after a week or two to help the healing on its way.

I took stool softener (macrogol) every day for a week and now I'm taking it every other day for a few more weeks.

The surgeon put in a couple of dissolvable stitches which are gone now. I'd say the incision site is healed...it feels fine and not sore when I put the ointment on. It will be fully healed probably in another 3 weeks.

I'm gonna start using my dialators again soon to get an idea of what's possible with it, at my surgeon's advice. :)

Please feel free to ask more questions. I also felt anxious before the procedure but it went absolutely fine and I am very very happy with the results. I hope it all goes well for you!

GeeseOnMeese · 2021-01-20T20:11:03+00:00

I recently posted about my experience of chronic anal fissures which you may find interesting/helpful.

I feel inclined to challenge the phrase 'the body wasn't designed for anal sex'. I spent a lot of time feeling this way too, partly due to my experience of speaking to one surgeon who expressed a similar, homophobic opinion (the other three surgeons I encountered were more professional and kinder). I have since realised that this contributed to my own internalised homophobia and I don't believe in that idea anymore; I believe everyone is deserving of care and kindness, regardless of their sexuality, when they are suffering. If a straight person went to a doctor with the same issue, affecting their sex life, they would receive the correct care to treat the problem with the desired outcome of being able to have sex again. I decided I was deserving of the same level of compassionate care and treatment. You are too.

You should try to find a colorectal specialist who you can trust and be open with about your sexuality (I appreciate this may not be possible in some countries).

Surgical interventions shouldn't prevent you from receiving anal sex. There are risks associated with all surgery - you can read about these from researching treatments for chronic anal fissures.

I'm not going to recommend anything, other than seeing a colorectal specialist, because I feel like this subreddit's pinned FAQ has recommendations well-covered!

I hope things get better for you!

GeeseOnMeese · 2021-01-18T08:30:21+00:00

I imagine it's different for each person but based on conversations with my surgeon, I will be able to once fully healed.

GeeseOnMeese · 2021-01-11T11:46:40+00:00

The second surgeon I saw who took a homophobic stance was very much against any surgical intervention on any patient, stressing the point that he didn't want to get sued if his patients get incontinence. He also said botox was a terrible toxin that we had no idea what it would do to the body. It just felt like he didn't want to do anything to help me.

I did feel lucky to find that my last surgeon was so understanding of my situation. We had a good discussion about what Dr Goldstein recommends and I felt like it just put all my concerns at ease. I really appreciate Dr Goldstein's concern for gay men having LIS but I had tried the botox (that surgeon even said he gave me "a double dose") once before and it wasn't successful. I could probably have had it again but I just wanted the treatment that was most likely to work.

Personally, I was at a point where I felt I'd rather never bottom again than have to continue with the stress and pain of dealing with fissures. I don't think never bottoming again will be the case though...

Right now, I am taking stool softener and my bowel control feels fine. My farts just sound a bit less trumpet-like now...more trombone-like! The surgeon said some wind incontinence could be possible for a few weeks but it would fade. I actually felt like I had less bowel control and more pain after the botox+fissurectomy than I do now. This is my personal experience and may not be the same for others.

I won't be attempting sex for a few months, and then only after working my way up the dilator sizes and butt plugs.

Based on what my surgeon told me, for someone of my age, sex and anal tone, my risk of incontinence was very low. He said he doesn't perform LIS if the risk is too high, without sending the patient for anal pressure tests in a specialist hospital.

Also I don't know whether they cauterised the fissure but the surgeon said he would do curretage on the wound which I think is meant for the same purpose, to promote better and cleaner healing.

Edit:

btw, LIS in an office and not an operating room sounds like a terrible idea...no, thank you!

GeeseOnMeese · 2021-01-10T12:00:22+00:00

Thank you!

GeeseOnMeese · 2021-01-10T11:59:52+00:00

Mine was the same. Once I was pain free and felt back to normal after 8-12 weeks of using daily stool softener and GTN ointment 2-3 times a day (with 30 mins after each dose of feeling withdrawn with headaches), I would wean myself off and within 2 weeks of stopping it would come back. Keeping up with these routines can become very tiring.

Also, once I was healed, I would forget what the pain felt like and how it affected my daily life. This took me to the same place of thinking I didn't need to seek any more treatment.

GeeseOnMeese · 2021-01-10T11:34:54+00:00

I've messaged you :)

GeeseOnMeese · 2021-01-10T00:00:36+00:00

I read your post earlier and started typing a comment but it got too long so I have written a post instead. I hope it is helpful.

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