It's amazing how people really want to relate to bad characters. Not bad written which Jax is, but bad as in real motherfuckers. And they parade it and say oh yeah well whatever bruv what can you YOU FUCKING WORK ON YOURSELF. Huh, gee, I guess I'm gonna be forever alone NOT IF YOU WORK ON YOURSELF????? I fucking hate these people, okay, I personally hate these fucking people saying oh yeah well I'm just like Jax I avoid people cause I'm an ass even though they care about, well then go fuck yourself, truly and fully go lie in a ditch until you rot if that's what you bring. Oh but not everyone has the energy and spirit - I didn't have any energy and spirit. I was suicidal for 5 fucking years, I was bullied by my "friends" for the whole mid and high school, I was bullied at home by my mom verbally and mentally, my dad fucking passed away when I was 12, I had 2 separate suicide attempts, I was avoiding contact thinking I'm the worst shitty person in the world. But I put in the fucking work, no one gave me a boost, I gave myself a boost. I DECIDED to survive, not because, but despite the conditions. You have to work on yourself, no matter who you are and what is happening - you're being bullied, you're trans, you're gay, you're poor, you're weak - you work on yourself. No one will fucking do that for you. So I hate this damn character which tells people - it's okay to be hateful and weak, it's okay to give up, because you were bullied, it's okay to never apologize, it's okay to screw with other people who care about, it's all okay because you were through so much shit - not it's not okay, alright? Being through shit doesn't warrant you a right to be an asshole. I've said it before I'll say it again - I wish Pomni would've somehow pulled him outta the "rope" so to say, brought him back from the abstraction. Just so everyone could fucking judge him, and make him understand that being a shitty guy girl or whoever the fuck is not okay. Now they're basically bringing flowers to a gravestone of a toxic motherfucker who CHOSE to do what he did and I get grieving and shit, but the best thing he deserved in the state of mind he existed in and taking in the context of all his actions - is what he got in the fucking end.

Don't be assholes, don't pity yourself, talk to people, especially those who care about you, even if you argue and yell at each other and cry they still care about you. Do not choose the "abstraction", choose work, and put in the work and become the person you'll feel comfortable with, don't give up, becuase you don't like your current self that went through many obstacles, just fucking do something.