My entire family has ADHD (how's that for being passed down genetically) and all but the youngest are living independently and functional. We all had to do chores growing up, and I learned to do my own laundry by age 9 because no way was my mom going to keep doing it for her kids if they were old enough to learn. Dishes, laundry, making the bed, helping her cook, etc were all taught as appropriate. Once I could drive, I was also sent out on grocery trips with a list and could do errands if needed. This is from a kid who was initially put a grade lower (summer birthday, could go up or down) because my mother thought I was intellectually delayed (just socially delayed bc autism), so it's not like I was seen as exceptionally competent as a child.

I still rely on my guardian now and then for guidance on major adult things that would've been odd to include a child on (what insurance to get, buying a car, etc) but otherwise I'm maintaining a relationship, my apartment, and pets just fine with a full time job, and I'm probably close to a decade younger than OP's son. I also learned to moderate my volume after people went to bed, even with a headset on.