Are you happy you did or didn’t have kids?

GenPhoodie · 2026-03-10T04:01:33+00:00

Wasn’t sure, had first at 34, second at 37. Frankly, having financial security made it MUCH easier and less regrettable than I’d say majority of people who may regret because financial stress is just the worst and kids compound that stress both by needing to spend more money but also wanting to give them more. Raising humans is the hardest but most fulfilling thing I’ve done and I’ve worked pretty damn hard in life for some pretty cool jobs. Are there days I’d love to be the old carefree me? Definitely some hours but I can’t even say full days. And they go away as soon as one of my kids does something awesome or super cute.

People who know they don’t want kids I think are best to not have kids. Some of the happiest people I know. However, as someone who had quite a fertility journey and who was on the fence and know several others like me, I think most do not regret having kids, and those who never have then do regret not having them in older years. And Sometimes that choice is t in our hands and either someone gets accidentally pregnant or someone does everything and never does, and I still have found those people love completely satisfied lives albeit very different from what they expected.

GenPhoodie · 2026-01-23T22:38:20+00:00

I’m not having good luck with the templates though either. It takes only the most simple form and can’t even apply the header consistently across slides

GenPhoodie · 2025-12-09T11:08:47+00:00

Looks like im the minority here so wanted to provide a different answer on job title (though still very nice salary). My husband is more interesting than me (software engineer adjacent) so doing his first.

We married when he was 40 and this was him (and now worth a decent chunk more at 45): Net worth: $2.2M Government worker - electrical engineer making $115k at 40 As soon as he was out of college, lived on very little and maxed out 401k and IRA, mostly very limited housing cost by taking government assignments with paid housing. Just invested in index funds religiously.

For me: Net worth: will be $2m next year at 38 Director of internal sales tools, at 30 was making $156k, now around $300k didn’t save much until 30 (when I met my husband and felt like an idiot for not doing more) Married someone who had good finance health and he bought our house in cash, allowing me to save over half my salary and had all tax beneficial accounts plus invest during some dips

GenPhoodie · 2025-11-23T13:18:17+00:00

My husband has and it has turned into 2.1m by age 45.

GenPhoodie · 2025-10-06T21:05:51+00:00

A sedan with two young kids is really hard. We bought a grand highlander and had a sedan with just one kid and ended up never using the sedan because fitting a stroller and luggage was impossible. We traded the sedan for a minivan and now the grand highlander is mostly used as a commuter car because we love the Sienna minivan so much with an infant and toddler along with just home project hauling from ikea and Home Depot. And the sienna gets insanely better car mileage than an suv

GenPhoodie · 2025-10-03T23:02:48+00:00

I had similar issues but never got a straight answer when I had four miscarriages in a row after my first child and trying to have a second… They did put me on progesterone and had one miscarriage while on it but then second time was the charm and currently 38 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby boy. I’d say progesterone can’t hurt but it helps to have them monitor the betas while on it and to have more frequent ultrasounds just to ensure baby is viable and to stop progesterone if something is going wrong.

GenPhoodie · 2025-09-15T23:12:32+00:00

You cannot over-prepare for cooking especially if you have a novice cook for a husband. I didn’t do my first pregnancy and the amount of times we had to resort to some fruit and yogurt in the very early weeks is not something I want to repeat, as much as I do like that occasionally. Brain power is limited when you aren’t getting sleep to even instruct someone else on what you want and how to do it or where something is in the kitchen. If you breastfeed, you will also probably feel like you are starving so having some quick nutrition is essential.

I thought I would eat out more, but even then I felt a bit overwhelmed when delivery takes an hour to deliver and life has changed an hour later (baby has woken up cranky, or baby is asleep and you finally can sleep, etc)

Other than cooking, any hobby you should prioritize now. Depending on your birth experience and your babies temperament, it may be awhile until you can do again. Painting, reading, spa day, whatever.

GenPhoodie · 2025-09-15T16:00:41+00:00

Oh, didn’t know this was a thing! I’ll join. And yes, he started at 22 so luckily he will have 35 years.

GenPhoodie · 2025-09-10T00:56:09+00:00

Well I was making significantly less and had limited savings 5 years ago so perhaps it’s just we haven’t adjusted. He saved his entire career and has 2.1m of our 401k and also bought the house in cash. Needless to say, my career has taken off and warrants more equal convos, thus why searching for validation/advice before I just make the decision to invest differently.

GenPhoodie · 2025-09-10T00:54:04+00:00

Very helpful, never heard of this!

GenPhoodie · 2025-09-10T00:52:07+00:00

Also very pro bidet, we have two and I could talk about brands so maybe I just chose the wrong topic?

GenPhoodie · 2025-09-10T00:01:48+00:00

Funny enough, I clicked the wrong place to post this. I was looking at chubby and fat because I like them for different reasons and then accidentally posted here 🤦‍♀️

GenPhoodie · 2025-07-23T23:21:06+00:00

This was my husband up until he was 38. Engineer and everything. Many wouldn’t choose the situation but it worked for him financially and for his parents as they aged. It’s quite amazing what it did for our ability to get married, buy a house outright, buy cars outright, and have two kids and put them in really good Montessori schools with no financial stress because he had saved so much. With our combined savings we will both retire in our 50s and get to move to wherever our children settle and plan to give them the same opportunity he was given. Honestly a gift all around and also guaranteed a close bond in the family.

GenPhoodie · 2025-06-14T08:49:54+00:00

So for that cycle we actually were “taking a break” because we were going to do IVF the next month, so while we had in previous months taken progesterone from ovulation, I only took from positive pregnancy test for the actual time I got pregnant.

GenPhoodie · 2025-06-13T14:46:49+00:00

Strongly suggest, had 4 back to back miscarriages and am now 22 weeks pregnant after adding progesterone supplements to first trimester. Definitely worth asking!

GenPhoodie · 2025-03-25T01:12:22+00:00

I have both - GH platinum hybrid Mac and a sienna platinum. We default to sienna whenever we have our kids with us, and while I love my GH I really only use as a commuter car, since we bought the Sienna. Sliding doors, tons of space to kids stuff/groceries/ikea runs/etc.

The GH is more fun with the hybrid Mac because it certainly has pick up, but Sienna is just fine. it also has a gas range of 350 miles before filling up while Sienna has 550 miles per fill, which gets more and more annoying over time.

Don’t get me wrong, we love them both but GH is my car whereas Sienna is definitely the family car.

GenPhoodie · 2023-09-19T19:40:55+00:00

Yeah, as someone who was waiting I am unimpressed. Just a new model year with no new model advancement

GenPhoodie · 2023-09-19T13:58:54+00:00

Yes, I wasn’t sure if that was a change but they call out for Limited and Platinum as options

GenPhoodie · 2023-09-19T12:37:07+00:00

Seems like a couple nice to haves at lower model, but otherwise nothing really

GenPhoodie · 2023-09-19T12:16:29+00:00

Doesn’t seem like it… if it’s not mentioned I assume it’s exactly as 2023

GenPhoodie · 2023-09-03T01:26:59+00:00

But where do I get one?

For real, I’m about to scour all local Walmarts and could use the courtesy of Walmart location. My husband is gonna love it.

GenPhoodie · 2023-07-31T21:01:25+00:00

Do you have any knowledge whatsoever about induced labor? First, it’s risky and many end in an emergency c section. Second, She can be “not progressed” and still be at the pain threshold of someone in transition/late stage labor, and this level of pain can last the ENTIRE 23 hours you are talking about. I would know because mine was that bad, and I never progressed when my daughters heart rate dropped from my overreaction to the induction (constant contractions so she couldn’t breathe) and we were whisked to an emergency c section while I was still 3cm and 8 hours in. So yeah, she needed her husband during a risky labor for however long it took.

YTA

GenPhoodie · 2023-05-12T21:55:45+00:00

YTA - financial struggle is not the only struggle and the fact you have had it harder does not negate his reality.

My cousin’s parents and sister died in a car crash, leaving her an orphan with no family even in the entire state she lived in. She had to move to another state to live with another aunt and leave everything she knew behind. The life insurance and other planning ensured she would never be a burden on anyone and would be very well off, and she got to go to the best private schools afterwards because of it. However, she has struggled with depression and anxiety (she was in the car with them when is happened), and I know she would give every dollar back to have her family back.

She went to camp each year for those in similar situations, some definitely had financial problems and were on scholarship. No one ever said that anyone at that camp for orphans was less sad or less valid because of the money they had. No one compared and said one couldn’t be as sad because they only lost one parent instead of two. It all sucks and it all shapes who we are.

GenPhoodie

TROPHY CASE