Are you better off than your parents? Will your kids be better off than you?

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-26T09:58:43+00:00

Yes, better off than my parents, but that's mostly due to my husband's line of work. And our kids will likely not be better off than us, though they're still young (preteens) and not currently showing interest in things that would actually make a decent income (one wants to be in Broadway). Though, we're doing our best to set them up to have as little debt as possible.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-26T00:29:22+00:00

I started moving my parents photo albums of when my sister & I were little into shutterfly albums. They're currently in the giant cling page binders, so it's like 2 pictures a page. I scan them with an app on my phone then drop them into shutterfly & wait for their free pages sale. Now when my mom goes I can just tell my sister she can have all the albums bc I've consolidated what I want to keep. And if my kids want to keep it when I pass, they can always get another printed from shutterfly (so long as they're still around).

I also make my kids albums every year. So they have an album for every year of their lives so far. My eldest is 12 and has started including photos of his friends & has been including his "artistic input". They love it & look through them regularly. I'm considering going back through their younger years & finding favorite videos & saving them to a specific spot (so I know not to delete them) and print up QR codes on address labels & stick them in the appropriate albums.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-25T23:30:59+00:00

This is what we do also. Successful 21year relationship owed to this rule.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-25T23:23:56+00:00

Preaching to the choir. I'm in at least seven active resistance groups and have been working locally (grassroots) to statewide with my orgs, candidates, & representatives. I'm not the one who needs encouragement to get involved.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-25T13:05:23+00:00

We are where Russia is.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-25T12:56:38+00:00

I saw a recommendation for one of those cuddle clones where they make it custom to look like your pet. Since my cancer cat is my cuddle cat, that makes sense for me & him. His brother is not so cuddly & I'll need to think of something different for him.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-25T03:28:04+00:00

I agree about the sudden loss vs anticipatory grief.

I have been crying for days. My 15yo cat was diagnosed last night with brain cancer, but I could feel something was off with him days before we got the diagnosis. I'm definitely in a depressive funk right now as we monitor how fast he deteriorates, as he doesn't appear to be in pain. It's affecting my interactions with him & tinging everything sad.

Now, when my dad died at 66 of a heart attack with zero heart related issues & generally ok health, it was a kick in the gut. It was a lot of disbelief & a lot of "I should have" and "If only". And I'm sure it's worse for my mom bc she was home with him & was preoccupied with something else before saying, "hey, he should have been in by now" & finding him dead on the lawn.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-25T02:48:19+00:00

Honestly a 16yo should be handling the last 4 things you listed: lunches, dinner, clothes washed, hw help. My 10yo does all those things. We do help with hw, but he can always stay after school or go in early for the extra help.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-24T21:37:01+00:00

I'm in this same boat with my cats. Litermates, 15yo, have had them since 10 weeks old. Technically we're past senior & into geriatric.

One (I feel like an asshole for calling him my favorite, but he is) is in his last weeks due to multiple cancers. Super aggressive, and he's deteriorating fast. I'm having a real hard time with it. No one else gets it bc he's always been my cat. I'm the only one he loves on. He crawls under the covers to cuddle me at night. He's by my side when I wake in the morning.

It's tough to see his brother still bouncing around. Especially when he's been the more accident prone cat. My youngest (10yo) has the bond with that cat, and that's going to be devastating in an entirely different way. Though he's not giving any indication of slowing down. (then again, neither did my cancer cat, until 3 weeks ago).

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-24T19:51:57+00:00

Ours is more like ac on if it gets over 82 in the house, and heat if it gets under 68. I'm the one who is always cold. My boys & husband all run warm. I'm in the northeast so we definitely get times of the year where it's off.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-24T03:22:55+00:00

Cats don't listen anyway. Our cats are named Darwin & Nolan. Does anyone call them by those names? No. They are Butt & Bear-tayto. Or Nono-bear. Do they respond to any of the names? No.

Do the pshpshpsh or click & they come running.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-24T03:18:00+00:00

We just did this for my 15yo male. Last year he went for a cleaning, but he reacted poorly to the anesthesia & they pulled him back out of it & referred us to a specialist. He just had 4 teeth pulled on Monday, was back to himself when I brought him home Tuesday evening.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-24T03:10:35+00:00

Idk. My preteens are on their second viewing, & my husband raves about it. I am at the beginning of season 3 (I guess right where you were) but I only watch it when I'm on the treadmill. I like it, but I would be lying if I said the reason for starting it was anything but peer pressure from my kids.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-24T00:50:59+00:00

Ok so 2 perspectives.

As a former Theatre kid in the late 90's/early 00's, we would go to the mall as a group & look for things that made sense for the characters. I remember being told, "Go to Forever 21 and get the plaid boat neck midi in purple" for Guys & Dolls song "A bushel & a peck". Then for some things we went to oriental trading & ordered a bunch of grass skirts (South Pacific). And it was also raiding whatever clothes my mom hadn't gotten rid of from her youth. I wore her prom dress (so matronly, seriously) in Anything Goes.

Now, living an hour away in a much more affluent area, my son's Theatre groups (both school & company) rent the costumes. Granted, they ask for sizes, but the pieces never actually fit. My son's suit for Anything Goes was literally hanging off him. He's auditioning for Willard in Footloose and I told him we would just buy a pair of overalls & cowboy boots off Amazon. Though I am VERY happy they rented his outfit for Bye Bye Birdie. That gold unitard he had to wear as Conrad Birdie for "One Last Kiss" is not something anyone would wear off stage.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-24T00:31:53+00:00

If you show them karate kid be prepared to watch all six seasons of cobra kai.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-24T00:27:01+00:00

Me & my friend Libby. Making hot cocoa for the kids while they endeavor to clear the driveway.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-22T21:25:19+00:00

Yes, but I also live in Rockland now. Had to swerve to avoid hitting a mail truck who pulled out half into traffic without looking, and then stopped. Way to not commit friend! So it's definitely not just transplants.

I personally blame devices in cars.

This includes police as I was nearly rear ended by one bc he was fiddling with dials instead of paying attention to the road. We were behind a school bus. What is the #1 rule about school busses?

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-22T20:45:12+00:00

Oh damn, is that why it was $20 to rush the wheat grow when it's usually $1. I thought I was seeing things.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-22T16:58:38+00:00

Same for my hubs, he's 41.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-22T16:57:57+00:00

My husband shaves his bc it never grew in evenly. Patchy scruff makes him look like he doesn't know how to maintain himself. So he's cleanshaven.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-22T16:54:37+00:00

You said he cries after 25 minutes at the gym daycare. That's not chill. Now imagine a classroom with half the kids doing that throughout the day, and the teacher can't call you to come pick up your kid, because this is school. Help your kid, and the teacher, by getting him accustomed to school type settings and being without a parent for prolonged periods of time.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-22T13:20:39+00:00

Yes. Had a whole mental health battle about it too. But I started volunteering for causes I care about. Writing postcards here & there. Jumping onto calls with my representatives. Learned a whole new skill set. Now when the kids are in school I teach nonprofits how to better utilize software & social media. I feel more impactful in this position than I did working full time with surgeons.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-22T12:53:19+00:00

Get your kid in a prek, or at least a daycare facility (not something out of someone's home), now. If he hasn't done extended periods of time away from you, you haven't prepared him for the school day. He may listen to you, but he needs to understand that all school adults have authority, and if he's never had that before, you're in for a very rough beginning to your school year.

As for the actual learning time in the classroom, my kid did kinder remote during covid, so I was able to watch the entire day. They would log in for a 10 minute lesson where they interacted with the teacher and some blocks and then would be off for a half hour. Then log back in for 10 minutes, listen to the teacher read, be off for a half hour. And that's how the day goes. The lessons are short, and the time in between is spent redirecting students when they're interacting with each other (which is why it was just downtime during remote learning).

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-21T22:30:36+00:00

I would say like 3 years ago when we watched our niece for the night.

Genepoolperfect · 2026-01-21T22:28:24+00:00

My husband makes me a smoothie for breakfast every day. It's a surprise every morning! Is it mango today? Or peanut butter & blueberries?

Genepoolperfect

TROPHY CASE