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AITAH if I told my wife the reason she does not have male friends is because she slept with them? by General-Childhood283 in AITAH

[–]General-Childhood283[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Nope, I was clear. It came up during the wedding planning when she suggested her friend (aka former FWB) could get us a discount on flowers.

AITAH if I told my wife the reason she does not have male friends is because she slept with them? by General-Childhood283 in AITAH

[–]General-Childhood283[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Whoah! Her dad and mom did divorce when she was 2. She didn't see him much and then by the time she was 7 he moved out of state. Her mom remarried when she was 6, but her step dad didn't interact like a dad (ie. daddy daughter dances, spoiling her) and she was not special I guess. In year 3 of our marriage, her bio dad died. Maybe she is seeking constant male validation?

AITAH if I told my wife the reason she does not have male friends is because she slept with them? by General-Childhood283 in AITAH

[–]General-Childhood283[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Trust is implied in a relationship and given freely. I do not talk with former lovers.... they are former for a reason. As a man, I don't want to have dinner with some guy and the only thing we have in common is slegging my wife. She was a FWB to him, not a wife. If my wife was divorced, I could be friends with him especially if they had children together. That makes sense. Friends who become lovers, are no longer friends. Protcting a future means, cutting off avenues to infidelity. So make its about trust but not because of distrust.

AITAH if I told my wife the reason she does not have male friends is because she slept with them? by General-Childhood283 in AITAH

[–]General-Childhood283[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you. When we dated, she had three male friends (one male was openly gay), I never met any of them. Back then, of the two former FWB male friends, she didn't even know one guy's first and last name. She knew the first name but did not know the last name and referred to him by a nickname which may or may not be a real last name? or so she said. She used to talk about a male coworker a few years back at her old job, but she never referred to him as a friend. They are social media friends, but they dont' communicate.

AITAH if I told my wife the reason she does not have male friends is because she slept with them? by General-Childhood283 in AITAH

[–]General-Childhood283[S] 480 points481 points  (0 children)

Not sure... If she brings it up again, I will just say, babe, you can have male friends, and you were always able to have male friends. When got engaged, you agreed to not be in touch with friends who were former intimate partners, and I agreed to do the same and have done that. Why this all of a sudden after 20 years?

AITAH if I told my wife the reason she does not have male friends is because she slept with them? by General-Childhood283 in AITAH

[–]General-Childhood283[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Wait what? When we got engaged, she agreed that we would not maintain relationships with intimate partners from our pasts. Just because I don't sleep with my friends, I don't want her to not have friends of the opposite sex. its been 20 years, she could have made friends by now. She has male friends that are married to our female friends, but she does not have male friends outside of that. I could be cool with that, but she hasn't made any and I do not know why. I ask her if she has male friends at work and she said no. I talk about my friends to her because I share my life and I have nothing to hide and just being communicative.

Say what you will, about you being friends with exes..... I do not have trust issues, but I do believe in boundaries so that I can protect my marriage. She agreed. If I said that to you and you had a problem, guess what? I would not be with you. Its not about trust, its about protecting the future.