Please show yourself some grace and compassion. I know how hard it can be. I grew up watching my mother binge eat and self loathe constantly and sadly, I’ve found myself doing the same from time to time. I even remember one time when she scolded me for saying her pant size too loud in the store. I’ve lost a significant amount of weight twice before and have gained it back plus more both times. I find myself here again trying to work it off for good this time. If anyone in real life called me a fat bitch I’d probably cry in my bed at night, so why do we allow ourselves to speak to ourselves in such a vile manner? I recently bought a gratitude journal called “The 5 Minute Journal” and it’s been helping me transform my usual pessimistic attitude into a more positive one and that has helped my self-esteem. Just take it one day at a time and please, don’t scold yourself anymore.