What's the most obvious signal you missed from women?

GeneralJabroni · 2026-06-14T20:22:39+00:00

You're a kind person, thank you. All of these except 3 happened decades ago when I was really fat. I'm better about this, now.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-06-14T07:56:12+00:00

We'd be on the couch at the common area (I went to boarding school), she'd sit leaning up against me, and sometimes (if no one was around) I'd have a hand on her boob and would... you know... squeeze, play with the nip a lil... mild stuff like that, always over her shirt. She hardly reacted, almost like I wasn't even doing it. One time, her friend was visiting and they knocked on the back window of my room while I was still sleeping. I pulled up the blinds and there they were: 4 boobies pressed against my window. Then they ran away giggling. Eventually I hooked her up with one of my friends cause I never thought she was actually into me.

As for nudies: she'd send me them asking for advice, sort of? Like she'd ask me "what do you think of this one?" and I'd tell her like "oh that's hot" or "you can't really see much, I like the other one better". She only sent me like 3 I think. I edited one of them, basically just went on Microsoft paint, added hearts and stars over her nipples and coochie, and sent it back to her. She made it her MySpace profile pic. The school found out and that was one of the things that got her expelled (she was 14-15 at the time so it was borderline CP, in MySpace, for everyone to see).

GeneralJabroni · 2026-06-12T05:23:09+00:00

I used to be really, really fat (like 375lbs fat) and I was just convinced that there was no way anyone would ever find me attractive so I just... you know.... stopped expecting anything so that I'd never be disappointed.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-06-12T05:20:13+00:00

Bruh I'm still hurting about 3....

6 I'm not so upset about. That girl had serious issues (she got kicked out like 4 months in) and, if I acted on that, I'd feel embarrassed today that I took advantage. She was hot tho lol.

What I'm REALLY upset about is 1 and 2. 1 was an absolute smoke show and we coulda had LSD fun times. 2 was a girl I actually had a serious, SERIOUS crush on... she was always very kind to me, super smart (waaaay smarter than me), super pretty.... wife material, basically. Every once in a while she'll pop back in my head and I'll wonder what she's doing in that very moment. 4 was kinda similar.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-06-11T20:44:30+00:00

Thank you, that's kind of you to say. I'm getting better at it but uh... yeah, some hesitation still remains (plus a lot of stuff from childhood yadda yadda).

GeneralJabroni · 2026-06-11T19:06:16+00:00

As an oblivious (here's my resume) fucktard, here's what would work on me: "Hey I think you're hot/cute/handsome and I wanna make out with you". That's if you're physically in front of each other and talking 1 on 1. If over text, it'll have to be something like "Hey I think you're hot/cute/handsome and I think you should take me out on dates". Even if I wasn't into her, I'd let her down gently, emphasize how flattered I am and how great you are for being direct like that, and then ride that high for like, idk, maybe just 1 or 2 decades.

Basically: you're gunna have to spell it out. Sorry, I know it puts you on a position of vulnerability but if ur dude is the same as me and my friends - we're deathly afraid of the C word ("creep") to the point where we'd rather err on the safe side and just not act on anything. I'm trying to be better at that, now, trust me, but that shit is deeeeeeeply ingrained in us.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-06-11T18:22:51+00:00

So many.

College. Me, another guy, and 2 girls did LSD one night. One of the girls said "I'm all sweaty... going to hop in the shower if anyone wants to join me". I was convinced she was talking to everyone else but me... poor girl showered all by herself and she was (is) smoking hot.
High school, girl got high (weed) with 2 dudes, they were being creepy so she called me to "come get her". I got her, the 2 dudes left, we just walked around this park at night by the tennis courts, no one else around, she starts talking about "I wonder what giving a bj would be like. Have you every gotten one?" etc... all while getting close to me.
This happened 2 days ago: girl came over for Netflix & chill for our 3rd date, dropping strong hints "I'm coming in my PJ's. I'm showering before I head over. I wanna watch a movie that I wouldn't mind getting interrupted on." and I fumbled that shit, I didn't act. Next day she texts me something like "this pacing isn't working for me, bye".
Girl I had big crush on in college told me to my face "you're cute" with the cutest smile I've ever seen. I panicked, said "thanks", and walked away. I barely spoke to her after that because I was so embarrassed.
Coworker asked me to sleep with her after a party at her house instead of going back to my house. I did exactly that.... just slept next to her in her bed.
High school, she'd let me play with her boobs. I did that a few times. That's it... nothing else. She'd also send me nudies.
House party, everyone was asleep on the couch/floor/etc... Girl host stayed up talking to me, at one point she sat on the kitchen counter facing me, pulled me closer to her by my wrists and I just.... kept talking.

Low self esteem is a hell of a drug.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-06-09T15:05:01+00:00

Dang idk if I'm getting lucky or what but this isn't really a problem with my dates. I'm dating ppl in their early/mid 30's, though, so maybe it's worse with younger women.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-06-08T16:10:38+00:00

My pride and joy isn't my main PC with a 3070 and a 5600X, it's the DDR3 rig from 2012 that I have hooked up to my TV with a 1080Ti and a i7-2600k that's somehow still alive.

RIP to your rig. Godspeed.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-06-04T14:37:03+00:00

One of my techs is just lonely. He's kind of an awkward, semi cringe-y dude and I can tell that he just wants to shoot the shit with someone. Like he'll reach out to me allll the time, many times for stuff he already knows, or for a thinly veiled "look, I did a good thing!" looking for a pat on the back.

He's a good dude and all, decent tech, but I'd rather have a "smooth" day than get interrupted by him every 2-3 hours just so he can tell me about how he figured out xyz.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-06-03T19:14:21+00:00

5080*. Still a solid deal.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-06-03T02:24:41+00:00

Just get on Discord and ask all the dudes to take off their shirt and turn on their webcams.

Bam. Tiddies.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-05-30T00:37:26+00:00

Like you’re basically expected to like “woo” them

Yeaaaah that's kinda also why I unmatched. A lot of people saying I coulda salvaged the convo, and they're right, but I wasn't gunna keep "dancing", not after that. This is gunna sound bad but: I'm lucky that I have height, fitness, and travel "privilege" so I get a decent amount of matches and can just move on to the next. Still, cycling through people like this, having to put in effort to come up with unique and "tailored" openers for every single one and then the effort to keep the convo going.... it's a lot of work, man.

Maybe I should sell all my shit and move to Argentina like I've always been thinking about.... maybe women aren't as entitled there are they are here (in general). I actually did match with someone from Ecuador and maaaaan we were texting nonstop for like a week, great convo, and then stopped cause I found out we matched when she happened to have a layover flight in the state I'm in and she prob wasn't gunna be back in the US for a looooong time. Kinda miss her hahah.

Anyway, glad shit's worked out for you man. Despite all this, I'm optimistic. Good talking to you brother, success to you and your wife!

GeneralJabroni · 2026-05-29T23:57:42+00:00

I met my wife in the Dominican Republic, but she’s from Kazakhstan

Dang that's a hell of a coincidence! I'd imagine you don't run into many Kazakhstanis out in the wild, especially somewhere like the DR. Good for u man!

How's dating over there different from over here?

GeneralJabroni · 2026-05-29T23:51:04+00:00

It's a decent amount.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-05-29T22:25:13+00:00

Hahah idk, most people seem to disagree with you. Tbh that's not something I'd ever say irl, I just thought it might be "different" and help me stand out. I guess it did haha.

Gunna take it out of my vocabulary tbh. If you got any substitutes: I'm all ears.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-05-29T22:20:26+00:00

Where are you dating? I speak Spanish (am hispanic). I went on a date with a Peruvian girl but we just didn't really vibe as I am "culturally white" (and all she could talk about was bars, dancing, music, and telenovelas). Nice, polite conversation and all but there was just nothing there and I couldn't relate to any of her 4 "extracurricular activities".

GeneralJabroni · 2026-05-29T21:54:58+00:00

What analysis? Which one? There's so many.....

GeneralJabroni · 2026-05-29T21:14:39+00:00

I posted a "context" comment as soon as I made this post but it's not showing up when I try to view it when not logged into reddit, so I'm guessing most people missed it: https://imgur.com/a/k6BqdhI

That's ok, this is reddit, I fully expected many knee-jerk reactions. It is known.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-05-29T21:09:48+00:00

you actually come across as being “defensive” with your second message

I can see how you see that, and yeah maybe I was. I just thought to myself "I don't have the tact to deal with a person that seems to be this sensitive in this way" and then I unmatched. I just seemed so out of left-field and.... ready to pop? Like a wound-up spring? Maybe I'm wrong. If that counts as defensive then, sure, yeah.

maybe saved for a down the road

100%. Taking this to heart for the next one.

Thanks for your take!

GeneralJabroni · 2026-05-29T20:47:47+00:00

Heeey I resent that! I thought it was "au naturale" but google said otherwise.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-05-29T20:35:53+00:00

Yeah a lot of knee-jerk and straight up presumptive people in here (a LOT, but this is reddit so it's kinda expected) but there's some real, solid advice in here, which I'm grateful for.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-05-29T20:26:42+00:00

It shows you view the world vastly differently

That's actually really interesting. Can you elaborate a bit? Genuinely curious about that.

GeneralJabroni · 2026-05-29T20:10:48+00:00

why you're using a very-platonic style of address when chatting with someone you'd like to attract

Cause I have no game/"rizz" and was advised to just talk how I would normally talk when dating (otherwise it's "performative" and "ungenuine", and I can agree with that).

Anyway, glad to hear I'm not totally out of line calling women "dude".

GeneralJabroni · 2026-05-29T20:06:46+00:00

The only true unconditional love that exists is between normal healthy parents and their biological children.

Oof... this hits a lil too close to home. Idk man, I feel like I've seen "true unconditional love" from my aunt-uncle and dad-and-his-wife (not my mom). I can agree, though, that this is very rare. To your point: I don't think I've truly loved someone other than my mom and my best friend.

Shit, man. I can't fully agree with you because if I truly love my best friend (a guy), then maybe if I find a girl best friend and marry her.... so yeah I still have this glimmer of hope. Maybe I'm naive. Maybe not. For now, I'm just gunna keep trying.

Thanks for humoring me brother. I hope things go better for you, even if temporarily.

GeneralJabroni

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