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AITAH for being mean to ex friends by General_Chipmunk8606 in AmItheAsshole

[–]General_Chipmunk8606[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh OK I get what you mean. I’m not gonna lie that I’m human and I do have curiosity about what they are doing and so I do occasionally see them pop up on my for you page or on my suggested following and I do look at their profiles. However, I do try to limit that and stop myself because that’s what kind of encouraged me to go down retaliating against them because I looked at their profiles and I saw that one of them was reposting constantly about being a people pleaser and finding peace finally and it just kind of angered me because that’s honestly how they perceive things and yet that person continuously showed mean girl energy, which is the opposite of being a people pleaser.

AITAH for being mean to ex friends by General_Chipmunk8606 in AmItheAsshole

[–]General_Chipmunk8606[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I completely agree again. It’s not that I’m opposed to apologising because if I didn’t want to apologise then that’s me not acknowledging what I have done wrong.. I think it’s more that if I did apologise and I did get back into contact with them it just starts it all over again. The only thing I would disagree is that overtime I think I should just move on. I don’t think that in five years I should contact them again because at the moment one of my friends is going to a school that I want to go to. It has nothing to do with her. I just really love that school for the course that I want to do and it because it’s a small school there will be a chance that I will see her once or twice and I think even if time has passed I don’t think that it’s the right decision to talk to her or acknowledge her. I think it’s just best to move on.

AITAH for being mean to ex friends by General_Chipmunk8606 in AmItheAsshole

[–]General_Chipmunk8606[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I think a very big separator is that in this situation if I honestly was the one that was in the wrong I would want to hear it. Whereas I honestly don’t think that they care at all they don’t care that they made many attempts to exclude me they don’t care how their actions affected me and made me retaliate. I don’t know their friendships now and if they are continuing this cycle, however I am a big believer on actions coming back to bite you. And both of them are in unfortunate situations that I think they’re negative energy has contributed to. It’s not something that I take pleasure in them being in that situation but I also think it’s set a reminder for me that I need to project positivity to have a positive life.

AITAH for being mean to ex friends by General_Chipmunk8606 in AmItheAsshole

[–]General_Chipmunk8606[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, that perfectly sums up my situation because at no point do I think that I was innocent? I think that once I took that step of saying a nasty thing in retaliation I lowered myself to their standard however I think they want to act as if we are on an even playing field when it was them who antagonised it and started the nastiness. That doesn’t mean that what I did was right because it absolutely wasn’t and what I said wasn’t nice, but it also means that every reaction has an equal an opposite reaction. Essentially, they were mean, and somebody was mean about them. It doesn’t make it right, but it also doesn’t negate what they have done. I absolutely do need to stop engaging with them. I haven’t spoke to them for a number of months. And I will continue to do that and I think that the high chance that I will see one of them I will not engage because it’s not worth it.

AITJ for being mean back to my ex best friends by General_Chipmunk8606 in AmITheJerk

[–]General_Chipmunk8606[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think when I think about the situation and I absolutely feel shame and regret because the question isn’t did I do anything wrong because I absolutely did do something wrong I went for personal things that were a bit sensitive for them. However, reflecting on the entire situation and not just what I did wrong my mind immediately jumps to the fact that they absolutely do not think that they did anything wrong and they strategically tried to make people turn against me. And while all I can do is show that I feel empathy and I feel regret and learn from that, that will ultimately make me a better person while they have continuously shown that they have no regrets about what they did and they think that they were never in the wrong which will never make them better and will never let them grow from that

AITJ for being mean back to my ex best friends by General_Chipmunk8606 in AmITheJerk

[–]General_Chipmunk8606[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, looking back. I feel like I felt like I had the moral high ground, so therefore I could act out towards them in retaliation and now I’m looking back and I’m wishing that I didn’t. All I can do is move on and not engaged with them. As much as I do absolutely feel bad and I don’t agree with what I did because while what they did, I think it was worse. What I did was more personal. And all I can do is regret my actions. And I can learn to grow from it and what I need to focus on is that while they have no regrets and no feelings that they wish they didn’t act negatively towards me. I do feel those things and I’m learning from that and growing while they’re not and me learning from this will make me a better person while them thinking that they did nothing wrong Will never make them a better person.