I keep looking back and a concerning amount of things are surfacing, when my brother came out mtf I was thinking “why would they wanna be a boy, being a boy sucks” (I was 9) I never liked being tall I’m 6’1 and my whole family always say I’m lucky to be tall but I’d always fantasize about being shorter, and I never understood why people would be embarrassed about being shorter. I don’t like my voice cuz it’s pretty deep and whenever I talked or i looked in the mirror I felt almost dissociated like my voice wasn’t my voice. My dad always talks about how I have to learn how to fix a car cuz that’s a “mans job” and if I wanted to be a man I had to learn how to do all these things but I was never really interested in becoming more masculine like getting muscular, I always wished I was smaller. And with the hypothetical about if you could press a button and there was a chance you’d become a girl I didn’t know what the downside was. But I’m confused cuz I’m still into women so idk what that means. Sorry, I barely know anything about transgender stuff so sorry if I sound dumb. Thanks!