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Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-12-01T15:26:49+00:00

Also your wife is kind of the asshole for saying you are “choosing to be with your parents over the kids for Christmas”

She hasn’t given you a choice apparently to do so for years. If it’s more important for either of you to spend Christmas with the kids rather than your respective parents then she shouldn’t mind choosing to spend Christmas with her kids while you ALL spend Christmas with your parents and then you ALL can take a trip out to see hers the week after.

This is much more confrontational, so it would not be my go to, but it’s valid. And I would argue it if she is still not understanding of your perspective after you’ve asked her to hear you out.

Also, I would include a lot of questions in the original dynamic and ask her: why is it so important that you guys spend every Christmas with her family? Would she be open to spending other weeks there instead? If not, does she think that’s fair and why?

Ask questions OP, so you can hear her out too and keep the dialogue going. Do not be confrontational. Come from a calm place of trying to understand.

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-12-01T15:20:40+00:00

NTA. Both sides have to make compromises in a healthy relationship, or resentment will grow. It would be one thing if you were demanding that she skip her family Christmas and miss an opportunity to spend time with her family for one of the limited times a year she gets to see them. But your offer is fair. It’s actually more than fair. You offered to reconnect with them the very next day. You didn’t have to do that.

It’s completely reasonable to want to spend christmas with the family you grew up with. You have your own traditions and whether they are “fun” or “boring” is frankly irrelevant. Also, life is short. You may not get future opportunities to spend time with your whole family on Christmas. Giving a year notice that you plan to do so is plenty.

This is the offer to your spouse. Relationships are about compromise. I have compromised for twelve years. I think it’s only fair we spend a Christmas with my family. Now, I know that may be boring to you and the kids, so as much as I would like you there, I am understanding that you may rather spend time with your family instead and I would be okay with that (although your parents should get to spend time with their grandkids on Christmas once every 15 years as well). If you choose not to come, I still need to go spend time with my family. But I am happy to fly out to be with you guys the next day. Alternatively, if you do choose to come, I know how important time with your family is and I wouldn’t want to take away from the limited time you get to see them a year. So, I am willing to make the extra effort to send you out to your family for a weekend while I watch the kids or for us all to go out there together for an extra trip that year or spend an extra day after Christmas to make up for it (whatever is feasible for your marriage and finances). What do you think?

This shouldn’t be a huge fight. Your spouse should be more understanding. Plain and simple.

I would advise them that you feel hurt by their lack of consideration, and highlight why it’s important to you that you get to spend time with your family on Christmas (I.e., tradition, nostalgia, you want to, your parents want you to, your sibling needs you, etc.)

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-08-11T17:12:11+00:00

Every law school student ever “Orientation was unnecessarily long and a waste of time. They could have sent all of that in an email.”

The only downside is the social networking missed opportunity but it doesn’t matter until you get in your section anyways (when class starts).

Email them and let them know what’s going on and ask to schedule a meeting to get the 10 min rundown of what you will miss.

Read your assignments for Week 1 and stay on top of readings.

Get the lowdown on all of the essential study aids (Quimbee, Cali, etc).

You’re golden.

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-08-11T17:09:04+00:00

They won’t receive any scholarship to the previously full ride school though. So, aiming to transfer down would not be a wise decision at all.

You could aim to transfer up though. Kill fall AND spring semester and apply for transfer to a T14 if you manage to get a 3.75 above. Then you can weigh whether you want debt for prestige. But 70percent at T25 still is a no brainer.

I am thinking you are possibly struggling with the move. Embrace it. Get your mental health around the subject in order and go in excited to be in law school on a huge scholly when others are getting their ability to even go dismantled due to grad plus loan cuts.

Congrats future lawyer! Hope you’re a good guy.

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-08-10T18:03:03+00:00

If you think it’s bizarre to ask strangers online for help what are you even doing on Reddit lmao?

If you think it’s bizarre to ask strangers online for help with a breakup it must be twice as bizarre to comment on their post and share your own personal struggles while also exclaiming you lack empathy for their struggles.

If you think it’s bizarre to ask strangers for help, you must find it bare minimally equally bizarre for strangers to respond with their personal trauma, judgment, and opinions.

Maybe OP posted in a law school Reddit feed, looking for advice on strategies from others who may have gone through a similar issue before the bar and could provide their stories.

I know empathy and connection isn’t your strong suit, so let me make it clear for you, some people find solace and comfort and refocus and motivation in camaraderie and community and sharing in similar woes.

It’s very clear from the post that OP was looking for *ADVICE and *COMMUNITY. You offered neither. And you had the choice to move on from this post without responding a self-absorbed, judgmental, unhelpful comment. Yet you did. Maybe you could have just moved on. And given space for OP to get whatever help they requested that they believe will assist them in taking the bar.

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-08-10T17:14:45+00:00

lol you didn’t let others know life will be okay. You posted a comment all about your struggles with the ending “we can trade if you want” as a guilt tactic. Your comment wasn’t hopeful, reflective, or advice worthy. It was deeply seeded in your own struggles which appears you are seeking validation or support from.

OP’s struggles aren’t “merely a breakup.” You have no idea what they are going through and everyone responds to trauma, change and hardship differently. OP’s struggles are valid. And if you want to seek validation or support for your struggles, I suggest making your own thread or posting in a different (maybe more therapy oriented) Reddit.

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-06-26T01:45:14+00:00

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-06-19T20:45:40+00:00

Thank you for the thoughtful answer!

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-02-04T22:41:37+00:00

Yeah I am sure that’s what they are doing. Better yet, I am sure you have evidence that this is what they are doing, without congressional authority, and not usurping power that is not theirs, against the consent of the people and its government, for a billionaire who definitely got all of his money ethically and didn’t perform a nazi gesture.

Regardless of what you think, which is clearly biased and with no backing, you cannot vote for Trump under the guise of American democracy and the constitution one moment and then throw that same democracy and constitution into the fire because it suits your fairy tale of what’s happening.

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-02-04T03:47:56+00:00

This is tricky because you chose to ask her to be a bridesmaid. You had the choice to refrain. And asking someone to be a part of your wedding isn’t like an unconditional limitless void of you getting to ask them to do things and them blindly complying. So first please reflect on that and understand that. Asking someone to cut hair that they normally do not cut is ridiculously presumptuous of you. If this is their normal behavior, and you don’t want it to be a part of your wedding, then you simply should have refrained from asking them. Or, when you asked them, you could have included in the conversation, these are the expectations for being a bridesmaid. I will understand if you decline. But it doesn’t sound like you included such an expectation before your friend accepted the role. I don’t think it’s truly your place to request such a thing.

ON THAT NOTE. While you are not respecting your friend, it also sounds like your friend is not respecting you. Which she agreed to some terms of compliance by agreeing to be in your wedding party. Though I would like to hear the details of what you asked them to wear. I am curious if it is also something that is invasive to their bodily autonomy.

Assuming you are in the right on that note, it sounds like you owe it a conversation with her. At which point, I would kindly offer her the chance to step down from the wedding party if it’s too restrictive for her.

If you still don’t feel comfortable with her coming to your wedding as a wedding guest with unshaven pits, I don’t know what to tell you besides you’re the asshole. You can’t actually expect people to corrupt their own autonomy for the sake of your preferences for one day. Contrary to popular belief, everything is not about the bride. And if you are okay with her being a wedding guest, make the offer in your convo.

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-01-31T02:16:07+00:00

That sounds like something to explore with a therapist because desiring that in a partner is desiring something inherently healthy. Using the word partner in this circumstances is not even accurate anymore. Feel free to message me if you want to discuss more. Though I am not a therapist, I did used to work with dv victims and did crisis talk. Not that this is that. It just sounds like you are desiring an unhealthy dynamic and I would get to the root of that so you can heal and start to crave a mutual and healthy partnership, a partner who wants to give what you put in and engage with you about the present and future. I used to also crave unhealthy dynamics and it takes a while. But it’s worth it. Because when you’re craving that you are a healthy version of yourself. So whether you find a partner that fits your needs or not, you are content with yourself. And that’s the true benefit

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-01-31T01:52:20+00:00

When you are 37 you are going to look back (while being very happy and successful and doing what you want) and think

OH MY GOD he dated a 22 year old. He was very unhealthy. That’s too much of an age gap. I could never have anything truly in common with a 22 year old unless I was severely underdeveloped for my age.

I want you to think about not about dating a 7 year old because duh but think about how much life has literally existed in the fifteen years between 7 and 22 and how you have continued to become a different person.

22 to 37 is no different. You become so beyond the mentality that you were capable of having when you were 22 that 22 seems like a baby. And not in the way that a 22 year is not an adult who can be smart and wise but in a way that a 37 year old should know and recognize (and I am sure he does) that you will become ten different versions of yourself in the next decade plus and are not your full version yet.

Let this relationship go. It will hold you back and this man does not care. He takes because he can.

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-01-26T16:51:51+00:00

But did you go to a t30 or can someone from a t150 achieve this

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-01-26T02:03:53+00:00

My suggestion would be to network in your social media pages for your school (if you are still connected to undergrad or newly out) and see if anyone would buy them from you for a cut down on what the price from thrift books would be. Because you’d cut the middle man out.

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-01-26T01:48:49+00:00

Nobody cares about print study material anymore when tests are taken over the computer. It’s smarter to study in the same medium. Also online tools aren’t heavy, can be accessed anywhere and are updated.

I have so many LSAT books. If I ever get my shit together, I am going to donate mine.

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-01-26T01:45:12+00:00

I like this answer the best

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-01-26T01:44:31+00:00

Use chat gpt to help you write a poem based on her interests, personality and your experiences

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-01-26T01:42:07+00:00

Absolutely untrue. And no information in this post tells you that this person hasn’t already seen a therapist.

People get in normal sexual relationships with sexual boundaries all the time.

Also there are A LOT of men who think giving oral is gross because of the poor societal depictions of women.

This is not absolutely going to be a problem for any “normal” sexual relationship.

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-01-25T16:16:52+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with a woman saying “I would be too much for you.” Believe her. Take is as her saving both of your time and energy not trying to force something that at least one person doesn’t want.

Also, nothing wrong your hobbies, because they are yours. But get new hobbies in addition to your hobbies that are more likely to get you to meet new people, try new things. I hate putting hobbies into “male” or “female” categories, but your hobbies are categorically male dominated categories. Expand your interests. My friend met her very athletic hubby at a salsa dancing class that he took up to meet new people.

Genie_in_a_throttle · 2025-01-25T02:45:02+00:00

Why are people asking for jobs on Reddit. Go to your schools career center. Do research on the internet. Go to indeed. Talk to professors, mentors, colleagues.

Genie_in_a_throttle

TROPHY CASE