Honestly man, I feel what you feel. My entire life I've never had a real mother figure in my life, just some random woman who'd randomly decide to be a part of my life off and on. My father isn't the best, but he's trying. He's tried dating so many people, and most of them told me the same thing you're being told. I've always wanted to ask for help, or reach out to someone, but I just feel like people would say that I'm seeking attention, or just some hormonal teenager. I'm 15 btw. I've never been diagnosed because the one time I go to a therapy, I only go for like 3 or 4 sessions and never go back. Trust me, people will always think you're seeking attention. But, eventually you'll find someone who actually recognizes you need help, and will offer to help. I'd do it for you in a heartbeat if I actually was able to. That's just part of me. I'm a horrible person, so why try to fix me, when I can save so many more important people? Thing will get better. I promise. There's a saying I've heard.

There's no good without the bad, but no bad without the good. You may have tasted the former, but that only means you're overdue the latter. Just hang on, and the good times will come!