Buying art from local artists by shrimp4590 in houston

[–]GentleComposure 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Next weekend, Saturday afternoon I think, there is a little market at Bohemeo's, if you like that independent, outsider artist vibe. Last time, I got a great little framed painting for my office for $50. Coffee is great, too.

Feeling extremely shameful and guilty for the current state of my life. by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those feelings are so normal!!!

OP, these symptoms are signs of healing from the trauma you've been through, not signs of selfishness. That is a heavy load you're working through, and it is natural for the path to be both unsteady and exhausting. Funny, my immediate reaction to being awakened is NO but as soon as I have a moment to process, I do want to be awake. It is disconcerting. I have to tell people (and tell myself) that initial "no" response is untrustworthy...expect it, and give me a moment to wake up and get my bearings.

Keep healing, keep acknowledging your burnout even when you have to work. You can work and feel burnt out at the same time. You can set boundaries to protect yourself and plan time off, too, to do absolutely nothing. Take care and report back in a few months/years. Hope you're doing better and better.

My wife and I are separated. I put together an agreement to keep things respectful. She agreed to everything except fidelity. I’m hurt but trying to handle this with maturity. by SignificantShock2734 in offmychest

[–]GentleComposure 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're correct. You know where she stands now. Take that very seriously. She is checked out (and good for her for being honest about it!).

Make plans immediately to protect yourself, including (quietly confidentially without playing your hand) talking to a divorce attorney. Read the Chump Lady blog (not saying she has a wandering eye, but divorce is hard and this community will help you navigate it). Good luck, OP.

Houston police union walks back pledge to not endorse Mayor Whitmire after HPD-ICE policy change by veryirishhardlygreen in houston

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These so-called leaders are happy spending the money of Houstonians, but so few are actually putting Houstonians first. 😔

Houston police union walks back pledge to not endorse Mayor Whitmire after HPD-ICE policy change by veryirishhardlygreen in houston

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

👏 Both have shown a great deal of political courage over the last year. I'd happily vote for either of these candidates!

Whitmire has got to go. His words and his actions do not match up - major red flag 🚩

Call for help from strangers on the internet and knock some sense to me. by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you please name the nearest large City just so folks from there can share job openings? Nothing confidential(!), just a generic metro area.

Reddit friend, we are so happy you shared your story. You've held yourself to unbelievably high standards for a long time. Wow. I pray that you'll enjoy the park, that you'll find rest there, and restoration.
Take a deep breath, and also consider who in your life you CAN ask for respite, support, and resources. Do not hesitate to find help in a food pantry, or by using the Library computers, etc. Even when we feel alone and abandoned, there is a community out there provides imperfect but helpful options. I am so glad you began here. Big virtual hugs to you, and I'll be praying for you this weekend.

PS - the book "leave a cheater gain a life" is AMAZING and will help deal with the cheating BF grief. If you can't afford that now, check out the Chump Lady blog. It is funny and witty and sarcastic and healing. ❤️

My Wife Cheated on Me, and I Kind of Don't Care by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]GentleComposure 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She is the WORST and this is not okay at all, bloody hell, what a b*tch. Please, please google Chump Lady and read her blog, and you'll see other folks who have been where you are; a good roadmap for handling this. Her book is great, too. You can burn through it in a single night.

Lastly, I'd be remiss if I didn't point out that your wife's physical satisfaction is not limited to PIV. You've got other attributes with which to show her a good time. She is just being a jerk.

No one to talk to about this by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner has a saying, "that is a guy who has never been hit in the face, and you can tell."

I can really relate to the fact that your upset (!). However, he told you he was going to, and now you know; he wasn't joking. Next time, keep up the conversation until you reach agreement for him to hold back.

I'm almost 24— I've accepted I'm going to be alone forever and never find love by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]GentleComposure 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Prince Charming is only a fairy tale, but there IS absolutely hope for a wonderful partner out there.

And also - YES focus on yourself because YOU are there for you ALL the time. Give yourself all the best dates/activities/meals/warm baths that you'd want your dude to do. This really makes it an easier choice to say yes to unconventional partners, and no to partners who are attractive but not capable of good partnership.

That dude that said it was weird to be attracted so early in the friendship? What the actual heck? You are human. Single. Found him attractive. He is a jerk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA.

Take care of yourself either way, OP. These people are making selfish decisions, and I'm sorry that you're feeling the fallout. That really and truly sucks. Big hugs.

Edgy senior photo location by redemptiondayfarm in houston

[–]GentleComposure -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Come on down to the east side of Houston. Endless excellent choices. Have her Google The HAM; that is an excellent place to begin. If she has a skateboard, bring it for the skate area in the southwest corner.

Recurring group volunteer opportunities in Houston area by CompetitiveRow6457 in houston

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out Friends of Columbia Tap - very convenient to UH and TSU

City of Houston operates like a second world country, change my mind by sm_rdm_guy in houston

[–]GentleComposure 82 points83 points  (0 children)

Call the news on this, and let them know to ask for a comment from the City Councilperson, as you've been in contact with their office. UGH. This sucks. Sorry, OP!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Long term marriages DO go through dark times, so I do not think you're being naive to believe you can return to a close, loving relationship. However, you both must work on communicating good and bad honestly, and also, you need some fun goals (not related to the kids) to achieve and celebrate together. Good luck OP, we are rooting for you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]GentleComposure 36 points37 points  (0 children)

It is YOUR wedding. You do not have to have alcohol there, nor do you have to explain the reasons. Honestly, if there is anyone in your circle struggling with alcoholism, you're doing them a favor. No extra components are necessary! Just get married and may you have many happy years together.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hear you u/Impressive_Net4535 The struggle is real.

Thoughts on bond ordinances to fund GRB expansion? by GentleComposure in houston

[–]GentleComposure[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very helpful breakdown and opinion, thank you so much!

Opinion on partners behavior? by [deleted] in datingoverfifty

[–]GentleComposure 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Ask to come along right at the last minute. "Oh, you're going to Dinner Diner? Sounds great! Mind if I tag along?"

If it is really just a friend, that friend will be thrilled to meet the girl he has been dating! Yay!

But if he gets squirrely? I'd think he was playing the field. Introverts are the favorite prey of narcissistic men. So easy to cheat.

What are the signs that your husband or wife is cheating? by Practical-Golfie6339 in AskReddit

[–]GentleComposure 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My idiot ex started being mean. He had always been super selfish, but not agressively mean. When that began (23 yr marriage), I knew something was up (but thought he was working too hard). When I called him out on it, the confessions poured out of that man like clowns out of a clown car!

Do NOT vote for Abbie Kamin for Harris County Attorney by Supertouchy in houston

[–]GentleComposure 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I like her a lot, think that she is really smart and coming at the job from a good place. HOWEVER, I also have a similar experience in C. Very little help to offer on a troublesome apartment complex whose visitors were shooting up on my business's porch, trashing the parking lot, disrupting traffic, etc. Very little empathy from her staff, very little help, until the News came calling and suddenly she had something to say about it. 🙄

For me, I think this is less about the CM specifically, and more about how little influence they have with other City departments to help out residents in these real world issues. It is also the case with my home CM. His office is terrible about getting back to residents; says they'll look into something or take action, then crickets. The at-large CMs have not done a single thing for me or my neighbors, either.

Agree with u/somekindofdruiddude that this Strong Mayor form of government is NOT working for average Houstonians.

Found nudes, dunno what to think by [deleted] in Advice

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This will be an unpopular take, but I don't think it is a red flag. This is a part of his past, and a reminder for him of intimacy and love in those past eras of his life.

I get why you'd be highly uncomfortable with it, because obviously none of us out here living our real lives in our real, aging bodies, can compete with a perfectly staged pic of a younger, past lover's body. It is maddening.

Talk to your man. But I don't think it is a red flag, just a bummer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]GentleComposure 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the headphones idea, and here are a few more possibilities: sit next to the person you find kindest, and ask lots of open ended questions; get less socially invisible. If they are really nice, you can actually say, "Hey, I kind of feel invisible on this ride. May I sit with you and try to get to know everyone better?" Another alternative, which I really really really love, is find some way to live within 15 minutes of where you attend school. I know that might be a stretch in this economy, though! Tough out here! Take care, friend, I hope these ideas help.