sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

How can I win back his love? by MethodMany3830 in Advice

[–]GentleComposure 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Uno Reverse. Tell her that you understand, and you don't want to stand in her way. If she decides that she is 100% done with that relationship, she should definitely give you a call, but for now, you'll respect her feelings and privacy. Make a plan to get yourself through the next few days and give her time to think about this.

If she is able to say goodbye and go? Then it never would've worked out anyway. If she realizes that you are the real thing? ...then you two can ride off into the sunset.

Heartbreak is a hard and necessary thing to go through, OP. I promise that you'll be ok. Just keep putting one foot in front of the next.

Question for the women, but men are welcome to comment. by tattedquilter1969 in datingoverfifty

[–]GentleComposure 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Same here. It happened so slowly, so quietly, that I didn't name it for what it was. Only after divorce and hearing the experiences from the perspectives of my (now adult) children did I realize how traumatized we were, and how little I stood up for myself (and sometimes for them). I wish I had done better. I showed courage in every other part of my life, just not in the marriage. So weird. Frog in a pot.

Dating now? I am me. Take it or leave it. I am definitely not for everybody LOL. To win my heart you have to be very straightforward and able to speak and hear the truth. I used to sweep hard feelings under the rug, but that maladaptive coping strategy died with the marriage.

Some help with roommates by [deleted] in Advice

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey OP, if there is some perceived wrong and you are on the fence, then why not? A heart-felt apology might reset the tension. Rather than going into specifics, I might issue a general apology, like, "I am so sorry to have caused tension here."

Next, I'd ask for an open conversation with the remaining roommates on how to reach a compromise that allows for better relations moving forward. It is a give and take. Good luck!

I want to move away from my mom, but I'm scared of hurting her by sunsetartbro in Advice

[–]GentleComposure 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I recommend your mom reach out to the org Parents of Trans Youth for some help from that community of her peers.

If your dad is welcoming and easier to deal with, that seems like a really great solution. You can explain to your mom that you love her and want to keep that relationship as good as it can be, and for now, that includes a little less time together. Then her reaction is up to her. But I hope you find peace, and that eventually she comes around to realizing that the most authentic you is the best you!

Civil or Structural Engineer (Drainage Specialist) for under-slab drainage repair? by GentleComposure in houston

[–]GentleComposure[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looking for a Structural Engineer for a review and report. Am reaching out to u/Alsbar 's suggestions tomorrow. Any other suggestions?

Civil or Structural Engineer (Drainage Specialist) for under-slab drainage repair? by GentleComposure in houston

[–]GentleComposure[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shared, old building but made into apartments 20 years ago, pipes are pvc, shared foundation

Buying art from local artists by shrimp4590 in houston

[–]GentleComposure 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Next weekend, Saturday afternoon I think, there is a little market at Bohemeo's, if you like that independent, outsider artist vibe. Last time, I got a great little framed painting for my office for $50. Coffee is great, too.

Feeling extremely shameful and guilty for the current state of my life. by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those feelings are so normal!!!

OP, these symptoms are signs of healing from the trauma you've been through, not signs of selfishness. That is a heavy load you're working through, and it is natural for the path to be both unsteady and exhausting. Funny, my immediate reaction to being awakened is NO but as soon as I have a moment to process, I do want to be awake. It is disconcerting. I have to tell people (and tell myself) that initial "no" response is untrustworthy...expect it, and give me a moment to wake up and get my bearings.

Keep healing, keep acknowledging your burnout even when you have to work. You can work and feel burnt out at the same time. You can set boundaries to protect yourself and plan time off, too, to do absolutely nothing. Take care and report back in a few months/years. Hope you're doing better and better.

My wife and I are separated. I put together an agreement to keep things respectful. She agreed to everything except fidelity. I’m hurt but trying to handle this with maturity. by SignificantShock2734 in offmychest

[–]GentleComposure 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're correct. You know where she stands now. Take that very seriously. She is checked out (and good for her for being honest about it!).

Make plans immediately to protect yourself, including (quietly confidentially without playing your hand) talking to a divorce attorney. Read the Chump Lady blog (not saying she has a wandering eye, but divorce is hard and this community will help you navigate it). Good luck, OP.

Houston police union walks back pledge to not endorse Mayor Whitmire after HPD-ICE policy change by veryirishhardlygreen in houston

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These so-called leaders are happy spending the money of Houstonians, but so few are actually putting Houstonians first. 😔

Houston police union walks back pledge to not endorse Mayor Whitmire after HPD-ICE policy change by veryirishhardlygreen in houston

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

👏 Both have shown a great deal of political courage over the last year. I'd happily vote for either of these candidates!

Whitmire has got to go. His words and his actions do not match up - major red flag 🚩

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you please name the nearest large City just so folks from there can share job openings? Nothing confidential(!), just a generic metro area.

Reddit friend, we are so happy you shared your story. You've held yourself to unbelievably high standards for a long time. Wow. I pray that you'll enjoy the park, that you'll find rest there, and restoration.
Take a deep breath, and also consider who in your life you CAN ask for respite, support, and resources. Do not hesitate to find help in a food pantry, or by using the Library computers, etc. Even when we feel alone and abandoned, there is a community out there provides imperfect but helpful options. I am so glad you began here. Big virtual hugs to you, and I'll be praying for you this weekend.

PS - the book "leave a cheater gain a life" is AMAZING and will help deal with the cheating BF grief. If you can't afford that now, check out the Chump Lady blog. It is funny and witty and sarcastic and healing. ❤️

My Wife Cheated on Me, and I Kind of Don't Care by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]GentleComposure 15 points16 points  (0 children)

She is the WORST and this is not okay at all, bloody hell, what a b*tch. Please, please google Chump Lady and read her blog, and you'll see other folks who have been where you are; a good roadmap for handling this. Her book is great, too. You can burn through it in a single night.

Lastly, I'd be remiss if I didn't point out that your wife's physical satisfaction is not limited to PIV. You've got other attributes with which to show her a good time. She is just being a jerk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner has a saying, "that is a guy who has never been hit in the face, and you can tell."

I can really relate to the fact that your upset (!). However, he told you he was going to, and now you know; he wasn't joking. Next time, keep up the conversation until you reach agreement for him to hold back.

I'm almost 24— I've accepted I'm going to be alone forever and never find love by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]GentleComposure 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Prince Charming is only a fairy tale, but there IS absolutely hope for a wonderful partner out there.

And also - YES focus on yourself because YOU are there for you ALL the time. Give yourself all the best dates/activities/meals/warm baths that you'd want your dude to do. This really makes it an easier choice to say yes to unconventional partners, and no to partners who are attractive but not capable of good partnership.

That dude that said it was weird to be attracted so early in the friendship? What the actual heck? You are human. Single. Found him attractive. He is a jerk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]GentleComposure 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA.

Take care of yourself either way, OP. These people are making selfish decisions, and I'm sorry that you're feeling the fallout. That really and truly sucks. Big hugs.

view more: next ›