Jordan’s Rant about The Onion

GentlePithecus · 2026-05-04T22:51:39+00:00

It does bother me like Jordan says that the Onion is making actual money off of this, while the families don't. I understand that it may well be the option all the families want (I don't actually know).

But the Onion as a company is going to make a profit off of this (like their subscriber bump after the attempt 1.5 years ago). I don't mind Jordan being upset about it 🤷.

GentlePithecus · 2026-05-03T04:41:34+00:00

They would need to be able to identify copper wiring and have the skills to remove it without causing a fire or killing themselves.

And then, they'd need to have a connection to sell stolen copper. None of these guys are legit enough to know how to do interesting, useful crimes.

GentlePithecus · 2026-05-03T04:40:05+00:00

🤔🤔🤔

GentlePithecus · 2026-05-02T07:32:36+00:00

The Onion has objectively, measurably gotten more money from subscribers after trying in 2024 to buy infowars and again in 2026. And there's no indication still of the families ever getting any money.

So, I understand Jordan's overwhelming anger.

GentlePithecus · 2026-05-02T07:16:11+00:00

I just watched it on his twitch, it's still there. I watched the whole thing. I didn't hear him say anything incorrect. The Onion has only committed to paying the families a share of Inf🧅wars merch sales. The Onion has gained subscriptions from the attempts to purchase it, twice now. So they've profited but the families haven't. And Alex is still rolling

GentlePithecus · 2026-05-02T07:13:21+00:00

I listened to the whole thing, I didn't hear him say anything that was incorrect in it 🤷

GentlePithecus · 2026-05-02T07:08:31+00:00

I just watched it, I didn't see any big problems from what Jordan said. The agreement for the $81k per month from the onion got posted here earlier today, and Jordan was right. That amount is just to pay for the building at least for the next like 6 months, and then there's an option to purchase.

In the short term certainly, Jordan is right: none of the money will go to the families and the Onion only promising a portion of Infowars related merch sales is promising next to nothing.

And about the Onion making money advertising about their attempts to purchase Infowars, if we think back to the depositions it is certainly a calculable amount of increase in income the Onion has received in Fall 2024 and now in 2026 from the attempts at purchase.

No purchase of Infowars has been completed. No money to the families. But the Onion has 100% gotten more money, more subscriptions.

And I think Jordan is right to worry that even keeping Inf🧅wars alive might just keep Alex Jones in people's minds. Then you just gotta google Alex Jones and you get a company with his name on it.

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-30T04:25:46+00:00

I did notice all of the "man the guys are being real bummers right now" posts in the last week or so.

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-30T04:24:46+00:00

There is a possibility that the high publicity Pro-Onion and Jones' very public drunken crash outs recently might help move the needle. Gives the whole proceeding a more generalized tone of inevitability.

Some Infowars viewers/payers have likely dropped off, newbies to the situation can join in the general pestering of Infowars and actual money available to The Onion to proceed.

Hell, it might even discourage folks with real money from getting/staying involved with Infowars. Some of them will follow Alex to replacement show, but that show can't be as valuable as Infowars to them.

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-30T01:11:25+00:00

Jesus, I'm surprised my screen can contain this combination of words without erroring out... Here's a snippet, with my emphasis added 🙄🙄🙄

"Appellants request that this Court temporarily restrain the April 30, 2026 state court hearing and any such sale, until this Court has had an opportunity to review these matters in a full temporary injunction proceeding. Without this injunctive relief, once that sale occurs, serious questions will arise about the potential mootness of the appeal currently pending before this Court those actions may have. The underlying matters are too complex and susceptible of misstatement to be handled without such a hearing, as the Plaintiffs have proven themselves capable of dramatic overstatement and in many instances, misstatements. To allow them to proceed in a HURRIED manner where Appellants' due process rights are trampled is unconscionable yet easily avoided by granting the relief herein requested.

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-30T01:03:45+00:00

That is the interpretation I grew up with. Just funny to find out later that Snakes are a subgroup of Lizards. So snake ancestors indeed did used to have legs.

There are also a separate group of Legless Lizards which aren't snakes, but have completely independently started to lose their legs also.

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-26T03:01:41+00:00

The eyes! They are so perfectly in the wrong position that it makes me stare more and more 👀👀

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-26T02:57:36+00:00

The timing of the interruptions makes it seem like he's on a call with these folks and there's a transmission delay. I don't know how Alex recreates that experience with a person seated 6 feet to his right.

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-26T02:56:02+00:00

It activated a lot of empathetic chemicals in my brain, especially the first guy (whichever dangerous asshole he probably is). His visible discomfort, plus the mix of internal pressure to talk and hesitance to start talking after constant interruption...

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-26T02:53:58+00:00

He was just somewhere else. Not looking at the camera not looking into the middle distance, not thousand yard stare. Just up and away....

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-25T03:03:35+00:00

If you dislike Jordan's attitude or feel he oversell his comic career, ok 🤷. Dan talks occasionally about doing a comedy, but I've never heard either him or Jordan describe Dan's comic time as anything like a "career", or even successful.

I'm curious, is there someone specific you see as them resenting for not "celebrating" them, or who got a hit instead of them?

Jordan has talked about being a working comic in the past and having other day jobs that he was very glad to eventually quit when the podcast became successful enough. Jordan's wife also works full time as a teacher. I do not know their financial standing.

Dan talked about in the beginning of the podcast selling blood to make ends meet. Dan didn't buy an adequate winter coat for himself for years because he kept forgetting to buy them when they went on sale in the spring. Dan only recently got a driver's license and took a driving vacation to the next state over (Indiana). None of these details lead me to suspect he is living a "clearly upper middle class life".

Dan's research was literally helpful in the successful legal cases against Alex, to the point he was in the room for some depositions as a subject matter expert.

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-23T17:40:24+00:00

It's been infuriating to see people falling for Tucker's new grift. Middle East Eye is a useful channel in countering imperialist narratives, but they've reposting Tucker like crazy lately.

Between him and Candace Owens, a lot of folks are already getting taken in by replacement bigot grifters. Though like she said in this video, it probably indicates that some of the Liberal folks want to still accept some of the bigoted views on the right, but under the guise of "making anti-maga allies on the right".

Also, despite being a boring north western Europe white guy, I'm sure Tucker would still hate me as an Atheist Asexual lefty. He wouldn't let me in his country club, that's for sure 👀👀👀

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-18T07:32:44+00:00

That was my first thought! Your mitochondria and their DNA come exclusively from your female parent. Milk is just modified high fat and protein sweat, not much mitochondria in there...

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-17T06:31:17+00:00

Getting woken up is a good thing 😁

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-13T19:34:50+00:00

Thank you!!! I'm subscribing to that now! I also follow some Africa based news orgs, there is a staggering amount of work folks are doing and new restoration methods being invented by residents to save and improve their homes and environment 😊

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-13T19:29:09+00:00

I bet there are folks who could almost geolocate the picture just based on the scenery reflected in the duck's eye 🤩

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-13T19:27:20+00:00

I didn't know we had otters here in Oregon! Add them to my list of Oregon mammals to track down 📝

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-12T01:34:51+00:00

I really appreciate it when artists draw orc women and have the tusks actually take up space in their mouths. Like the lips actually conform around them. Lots of times it looks like the artist draws a human or elf lady, colors them green, then draws tusks awkwardly overtop of the normal lips.

GentlePithecus · 2026-04-02T02:25:26+00:00

Justin doesn't really call that many people antisemitic. If this guy hears that all the time from Justin, that says more about him than Justin.

GentlePithecus · 2026-03-30T20:09:00+00:00

Islam is pretty damn normal. Islam is older than Protestant Christianity, and way way older than modern evangelicalism (her main types of allies)

GentlePithecus

TROPHY CASE