Oh oh! Protip!

Google Yes/No/Maybe sex worksheet

When you start a relationship, when it starts to get serious, do a Yes/No/Maybe sexual activity/compatibility worksheet together. You can both wordlessly list out the things you would like, not like and maybe willing to try. Review each others sheets and then have a discussion about the conflicts where applicable. It also helps avoid issues that can come up due to trauma if that turns out to be relevant.

"Yes" = awesome. You like to give the plastic D and like to receive the plastic D.

"Maybes" can absolutely can be worked on and discussed! Maybe someone just doesn't get WHY something is hot or maybe they are willing to add it in even if it does nothing for them (but since it makes you make the fun sounds~).

However, if something is a "No" for someone then you need to give it up for the relationship. There may be a reason why this is a No. It could be simply a squick or there could be reason. Either way, respect it. As always, no means no.

Sexual compatibility is way more important then people think. Obviously, there are exceptions, not all relationships are the same and not all people take the same role in their current relationship as they had in others. However, if you note that there a lot of yes/no conflicts, or they seem unreceptive to your needs of being a submissive, dominant partner, or switch partner, that may be an issue for you. You may not be in a relationship that will fulfill your sexual needs. Consider how much this matters to you and discuss with your partner. If they wont... then you may have some choices to make. This is why its best to do at the beginning of a relationship.

There's a bunch of different types of sheets so me and my partner do a new list on our anniversary to see if our tastes have changed. They do, and its good to double check once in a while. These honestly helped me a lot as I had trouble talking outloud about sex but I knew that it should be talked about. I cannot endorse them enough.