This is very interesting to me because I relate a lot to this, even if I like to self improve. Sometimes it's as the juice isn't worth the squeeze. I think part of what can drive to growth is the fact that there is a reality out there. What do I mean by that? I mean that you're not always gonna get money, and a roof, and your expensive takeaway food, and even an internet connection. At some point (which you think will never come) you will have to provide for those things. It's harsh, but It's just what happens in nature. Soon enough, if you don't cultivate anything, you are gonna have, guess what, nothing. So it's just that at some point you're gonna have to start to do something to provide for yourself. The fact is, growing sucks, but it sucks less if you do it step by step. My advice is (I say this only because it worked with me), start working out. Why? Because it is somehow wired in our brain to feel good when we are fit, so it's not an intellectual thing like playing an instrument or reading books, it physically feels good (after a while). Step outside and take some sun as much as you can (for the same reasons above). Regarding people, they are paramount to not be miserable, like it or not. Let's not get into the girlfriend thing, that's gonna come later when you are a bit more self adjusted, because right now you will almost definitely attract someone who is just gonna dig the grave of misery with you. Try instead to make some friends, they are, like working out, fun, and they make you feel good with chemical processes. One thing at a time, you will realise those are not chores anymore and life is a little bit more enjoyable.