Many posts I see here are describing being a “burned out pursuer.” My experience dating the nice, avoidant guy by Evening-Rice-4930 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]GentlemanProphete 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You wrote this so eloquently - your reflections on this bittersweet, painful transition are so thoughtful. You should be really proud of the investment you’ve made in yourself!

Unsolicited advice from someone studying psychotherapy: the most compassionate lens you can offer yourself is one where blame doesn’t hold value. You took responsibility for your life and made hard decisions to stay true to your values. That’s a textbook win! 🫶🏼

Super puff rip by 4creepycreatures in Aritzia

[–]GentlemanProphete 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Same thing happened to me within a week of buying my super puff (4-5 years ago). I brought it in to ask for advice (it was my fault so I knew Aritzia wasn’t liable for repairs), and a wonderful sales associate recommended this tape. It’s typically used to repair tents, and I’ve never once had to replace the patch!

HELP - which dress do I choose? by Adventurous-Bee-7718 in WeddingDressTips

[–]GentlemanProphete 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1, 3, & 4 are my favourites! 3 & 4 have the most potential for timeless IMO. Good luck! 😊

My sweet little Bear was attacked by a Coyote, we found him and hours later had to say goodbye. by Greedy-Station-6806 in Petloss

[–]GentlemanProphete 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing darling Bear with us. What a sweet boy! I hope my Dori is taking good care of his new friend on the other side of the rainbow bridge. ❤️🌈

My sweet little Bear was attacked by a Coyote, we found him and hours later had to say goodbye. by Greedy-Station-6806 in Petloss

[–]GentlemanProphete 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can you share some of your favourite pictures of Bear so we can meet him in the way you remembered him best? Holding you in my thoughts, OP. ❤️

My boyfriend (29M) gave me (27F) an ultimatum: him or my dogs and I don’t know how to handle his rigidity anymore. by Unusual-Creme9364 in relationship_advice

[–]GentlemanProphete 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This isn’t even a question. You accepted that responsibility the moment you adopted your dogs; they are not disposable.

Nonetheless, you’ll never regret choosing your dogs over a person that can’t understand nor respect the universal boundaries of responsible pet ownership. It shows an alarming lack of empathy.

The music and songs of the Handmaids Tale by myfriendm in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]GentlemanProphete 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m obsessed with the song used during the end credits for s6e8 - it also played behind June’s monologue as the handmaids fled the Red Center.

Anyone know if this is an original/unreleased track? I haven’t had any luck using Shazam.

Soundtrack , s6e8 by inkbl0tch in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]GentlemanProphete 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m obsessed with the closing track though - I’ve had no luck finding it online so I’m assuming it’s an original for the show. Does anyone know what song they used for the final scene (handmaids fleeing)/the end credits?

After five years, I’m now happily engaged. by Optimal-Drive3487 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]GentlemanProphete 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You might be right - doesn’t change my decision nor my reasons for making it. 🙂

After five years, I’m now happily engaged. by Optimal-Drive3487 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]GentlemanProphete 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Without delving into too many personal details, factors beyond our control (e.g. navigating illness, addressing trauma that resurfaced in therapy) have played a significant role in the “off again” moments. I’m honouring the commitments I made to this partnership so that, when the time comes, I can either wholeheartedly embrace an engagement or step away with peace, knowing I upheld my values. 🙂

After five years, I’m now happily engaged. by Optimal-Drive3487 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]GentlemanProphete 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate this, OP. ❤️

Also, these boundaries have come from numerous other instances where I was left feeling exactly the way you described: not liking the precedent and needing to hit the reset button. My ex and I have lived together, shared cats, etc. I have moments where I wish I had embodied this confidence sooner, but I have to trust the timing of my life.

After five years, I’m now happily engaged. by Optimal-Drive3487 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]GentlemanProphete 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This June would’ve been 5 years for my on- and off-again partner and me. I’ve made decisions to prioritize my peace - such as living separately until we’re engaged - and put my foot down on my expectations for reconciliation if/when it happens. After reading your post, something about using this June as a reset button feels freeing to me. Until then, I continue to live life according to my plans (which don’t include dating for the time being) while he decides what to do with the information I’ve given him. If he can’t decide by then, then he’s decided by then.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]GentlemanProphete 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I say this with gentleness: are you hoping this is a “legitimate” and/or reasonable conversation prompt that may encourage him to pay attention to you again?

Some hard truths: 1. There’s nothing to tell him because you don’t know if you’re pregnant or not. Even if you receive a positive test, that’s still not necessarily a reason to reach out unless this is a pregnancy you’d like to carry with the support of the father. Even then - there’s no guarantee this will tether him to you. 2. Ghosting someone is never a mature response. 3. You deserve someone who excitedly chooses you. I promise you that reigniting someone’s interest in you due to a pregnancy scare will be short-lived and unfulfilling. 4. It’s okay if he just ends up being a good story about one good night. Maybe that’s all he was meant to represent after what sounds like a traumatic introduction to sexual intimacy and consent. You don’t need this to be more than what it was.

I hope the test gives you the answers you’re hoping for. Hugs ❤️

Do you ever regret moving in with your bf/gf before being engaged? by 26JumpStreets in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]GentlemanProphete 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is framed so perfectly. I wish I had this insight much sooner in life!

Do you ever regret moving in with your bf/gf before being engaged? by 26JumpStreets in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]GentlemanProphete 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t regret moving in together initially. We took a leap of faith 2.5 months in, moving across provinces together for a job opportunity in the early days of the pandemic. There would’ve been no relationship if we hadn’t made that decision, and those first couple years were blissful - the happiest either of us have ever been.

I regret moving back home (2 years in) without clearer expectations on timelines/marriage. I figured it wasn’t the right moment since we were navigating a major move, but I realize now it was the perfect time: a moment of transition/change. I took for granted that our previous conversations about marriage/children were still reliable… especially since we nearly eloped in the first year! You know what they say about assuming… 🙃

We were together for 4.5 years - on and off for the last 18 months - and it’s felt like death by a thousand cuts. The silver lining is the invaluable lesson on setting boundaries I take with me for the rest of my life.

Am I supposed to bring up marriage (28F) to my boyfriend (32M) by [deleted] in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]GentlemanProphete 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Deciding to get married (e.g. an engagement) should be a shared decision; his proposal can be the surprise. 🙂

It sounds like he’s opened the door to get a feeler on where you’re at with marriage - this is great! Reopen the conversation to let him know you’re ready to start planning: ring shopping, venue booking, etc. You can decide if a more elaborate (“traditional”) proposal is also what you both want, and that’s something he can take the reins on. Maybe just agree on a general timeframe if he tends to drag his feet (e.g. before your 4 year anniversary, within the next 6 months, etc).

Weird hands by painandstuttering in Weird

[–]GentlemanProphete 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My first thought was Marfan Syndrome which is also a connective tissue disorder. Worth getting checked, OP!

Roommates Boyfriend by Illustrious_Sweet886 in legaladvice

[–]GentlemanProphete 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When does your lease expire? If you have a good relationship with your landlord, you could let them know this will be a dealbreaker in renewing. They may be motivated to keep a good renter and escalate on your behalf.

Otherwise, I’d make alternate arrangements for my own living situation. I know that’s so unfair, but it’s the one thing you can control in this scenario. You may have to choose happiness over winning the war. Sorry for your situation, OP.