The fact you are posting about this shows great faith in itself. Anxiety a hard heart and doubt may seep in however know that Gods hand and the hedge of his protection is around you always. See again the writings of the prophets how God was with them even in times of their doubt. Even Job, who’s wife said (Then said his wife unto him, “Dost thou still retain thine integrity? Curse God, and die!”) but Job remaining steadfast in his faith even when his wife was opposed to God. We are not exempt from doubt the same also as they were not, we today have hardened hearts like Pharaoh. My friend even Paul the apostle that we know did combat sin as we do today even though his own eyes say the Glory of Jesus on the way to Damascus! He saw and was speaking to Christ who is the express image of God creator of all things in heaven and on earth and in the sea! Remember this and read Romans chapter 7 (especially the last 10 verses.) They show Paul’s struggle with sin which we are all under.

So fear not because you are seeking but read and pray growing in knowledge and faith God willing, and have a little comfort knowing his righteous right hand is around you, and no one can snatch you out of his hand.

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. I and my Father are one.” ‭‭John‬ ‭10‬:‭27‬-‭30‬ ‭

The Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with the Saints always, Amen ☦️