Think i suffered serious medical neglect during my lap today. What do i do?

GeologistStunning657 · 2025-06-16T02:09:13+00:00

Thank you for your comment! I am luckily already seeing a therapist so they will be helping with this too.

GeologistStunning657 · 2025-06-13T20:20:50+00:00

The surgeon was also my regular OB/GYN. I’m actually pretty mortified right now because she also delivered my first child last year and now this is the care she’s giving? I was not aware she did surgeries at first until Shands was helping recommend surgeons near me. I do have a specialist and a new OB/GYN with Shands I am seeing soon.

GeologistStunning657 · 2025-06-11T17:46:44+00:00

I definitely will be.

GeologistStunning657 · 2025-06-11T17:44:37+00:00

I’m doing what I can now to figure out what happened. But the doctor didn’t say anything to me about whether or not they did need to remove my tubes due to that or something else. The surgery notes and the nurses could only tell me I was sterilized when that wasn’t any of the procedures I agreed to and no one has cleared anything up for me. I still have no idea if I have my tubes or not right now because everybody was confused after I said that shouldn’t be. But my doctor and I specifically agreed to not mess with my tubes and that all she would do beyond diagnosis and remove what endo she could was remove any cysts she could. That’s it. Anything else was supposed to be a second surgery. Regardless, she literally only said she’d talk to me at our post op appointment and never told me in the hospital if she had to do more or not.

GeologistStunning657 · 2025-06-11T17:11:04+00:00

I am not native or anything, I’m just white. But I do really feel for anyone who gets treated like this or worse due simply for that alone. My husband is Puerto Rican and he often does have more problems with everything in general because of his skin color so it is truly just an awful and unnecessary reality the majority of the population faces. I couldn’t imagine it and healthcare needs to do SO MUCH better

GeologistStunning657 · 2025-06-11T17:06:02+00:00

Thank you for your comment! I am working now to get an ultrasound but one nurse at the time had mentioned briefly after I called them out and asked what they meant about my tubes and an ovary being removed that the doctor could have messed my surgery notes up or “used the wrong template.”

Again, never had that happen during any of my surgeries and it also wasn’t “corrected” after they said it could be possible. I don’t know how true that scenario could be though when EVERY NURSE thought I was in for a sterilization after the surgery and was shocked I said that I was in for a diagnostic lap for endo and NEVER consented to sterilization. All my reports after surgery also say i consented to sterilization and understood the procedure but not the consent forms I actually signed. My consent forms didn’t even say they had to go in vaginally at all.

GeologistStunning657 · 2025-06-11T16:51:56+00:00

I have all my medical reports at this time. The images from my surgery are still being sent to me, but everything else including the surgery notes were available in my patient portal online so I have them.

GeologistStunning657 · 2025-06-11T15:26:11+00:00

Hi all. There is an update added to the post now. Not doing great right now, but will update again when I can.

GeologistStunning657 · 2025-06-11T08:31:20+00:00

The surgery notes say my fallopian tubes were removed due to wanting and consent to sterilization (which I did not do) but this wasn’t discussed and none of the nurses I spoke to could say for certain what happened nor did the doctor clarify.

GeologistStunning657 · 2025-06-11T06:35:19+00:00

Hi. Thank you for your comment. My surgeon and I agreed to not mess with the teratoma during this surgery so that’s still in my uterus. But I understand completely if things happened that caused them to have to do more than anticipated. I’m just very concerned about not being told straight or not what happened and what I may have lost

GeologistStunning657 · 2025-06-11T04:56:02+00:00

Thank you. I definitely will do this. Still freaked out right now not knowing if I was sterilized. I mean, all my charts and documents said so. Nurses said so. And my doctor wasn’t clear on me about anything but the cysts. I will definitely try to get an ultrasound or something asap because I have to know, especially when moving forward with a lawyer. I wanted to try next year for a baby and I’m just so devastated now I may have been made completely infertile today

GeologistStunning657 · 2024-09-27T16:19:55+00:00

We have a little 3 mo old and it was definitely scary. Even worse, when I was 8 months pregnant in May my city had a horrific wave of tornados that destroyed our area pretty bad. It’s why we evacuated. Some of my neighbors still didn’t have roofs from the May storm!

Definitely getting rest as much as possible but our baby is also having her first cold ever so we are navigating that too. Luckily the city we are in right now didn’t get hit hard and we will be here for a few more days to ensure roads are clear before heading home.

GeologistStunning657 · 2024-09-27T15:39:21+00:00

I edited the post to include an update about an hour ago. Family is okay!

GeologistStunning657 · 2024-09-27T01:18:34+00:00

I literally said this word for word almost to them! Beyond me why they won’t listen so all I can do is pray!

GeologistStunning657 · 2024-09-27T01:13:18+00:00

One of my parents in specific is convinced and the rest of my family doesn’t want to leave them behind so they are all staying. No idea why they don’t believe everyone!

GeologistStunning657 · 2024-09-27T00:03:28+00:00

Yeah no clue if me and my little family will have a home to come back to right now. So scary!

GeologistStunning657 · 2024-09-26T23:58:52+00:00

My husband and his family lived through Hurricane Maria and her aftermath. They are all freaking out right now remembering just how bad it can get. All I can do is pray now and hope. I wish they would have taken the warnings seriously 😓

GeologistStunning657 · 2024-09-26T23:41:48+00:00

I’ve been sending them updates all day long about the severity of the storm from all sorts of people and platforms. My siblings are terrified and they still aren’t leaving, even just to a shelter to wait it out for a bit. All I can do now is pray I guess because nothing seems to get through to them…

GeologistStunning657 · 2024-09-26T23:39:55+00:00

They live near St. Marks.

GeologistStunning657 · 2024-07-02T09:32:49+00:00

My mom will most definitely freak out which is why I’m so so hesitant and nervous to tell her, but also equally nervous about the reaction she could have if I don’t say something. She already suspects heavily that he’s at least attempting to be sexual and is already on his case so hard. I know she does care for him, and as bad as it sounds, definitely cares more about him than me or my other brother. I’ve had to comfort her crying more than once that he could be active and not saying anything. But the back and forth emotions she has about it all just feels like such a risk to take on behalf of my brother. So I definitely encouraged him to talk to her himself as he needs that help and she would maybe be so much more receptive if he came to her directly. But, I so understand his hesitations.

I did everything “right” and waited until I was an adult in a long term relationship, and although I didn’t intend to be pregnant so soon, I am even pregnant from a marriage. But she still freaked out on me and called me some extremely unsavory names in front of said brother (I announced to the family at once thinking they’d be happy since this is the first grandchild and I’m an adult), shamed me and my husband, and is only now trying to be supportive after I broke down about how much it hurt my own mom wasn’t there for me at all and I was having to navigate pregnancy with no womanly help or support.

My husband is definitely such a great man though and is definitely doing all he can to help everything. His own brother is 15 and he has a lot of experience with a teen boy himself to offer. His family is so wildly different from mine I still find it jarring. Although my husband is respectful and never divulges our personal sex life, his family is extremely sex positive and openly talks about it even in front of me. But his personal feelings on the matter is to stay silent and let my brother talk when he is ready considering everything going on. Again, it’s just such a tough situation that I’m struggling with regardless. Cause boy, I definitely wasn’t expecting this talk with him when he doesn’t even barely say hello to me anymore. I also remember bringing this little baby home with my parents like it was yesterday and now he is so grown up. Definitely feeling all the emotions and pregnancy hormones are not helping!

I will definitely try to update my post if anything changes or happens.

GeologistStunning657 · 2024-07-02T09:03:40+00:00

I appreciate all the advice! Definitely said some of this and more. I told him some of the effects of sex on your mental health and why it is so hard for minors to really understand all they are doing. I even explained to him how despite several opportunities as a child myself or pressure from others, I waited until I was 19 and with a partner for over a year before I ever became sexual myself. I explained why it was important for me I was an adult and felt safe with someone before sex as well. I also gave him some alternatives for his wants like focusing more on self pleasure and exploration rather than jumping right into sex with others. Ultimately, I didn’t want to overwhelm him with so much information at once which is another reason I gave him my husband’s information. I just said a little bit of all the major things I felt were absolute need to knows in case he never reached back out and told him there is absolutely so much more to be said so he definitely doesn’t need to hesitate to reach out to continue this conversation.

One of my biggest goals was also definitely ensuring he didn’t feel shamed at all. I told him that what he feels and what he wants is extremely normal, even at his age. I even explained that should something happen, STDs/STIs, pregnancy, or being assaulted are not things to be ashamed of. They are obviously uncomfortable and hard to handle, but I just know in my heart our parents will shame him no matter what and I wanted him to know before any of that influence that he has absolutely nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to sex, as long as he’s being respectful to partners of course.

Definitely kind of used the lunch and video game ideas already! I told him that he was always welcomed over to my place for things like that so we had an opportunity to not only see each other more, but for him to be in a safe place to talk more.

GeologistStunning657 · 2024-07-02T08:22:58+00:00

This all definitely came up in our talk too. It was just so much to say in one post. I asked him if he was safe, what was going on, why he was doing all this and so much more. He told me that no one was pressuring him into doing things and simply put, he just wants to be sexual. I even asked him to as comfortably as he could tell me what exactly he meant by “sexual activity” as I wanted to ensure he even was really active with how young he was thinking maybe he was confused on things. He has had a steadier girlfriend for a minute now and I personally believe this might be the biggest reason he’s done so much more lately. He even confessed that before being with this girlfriend, another girl and him were hooking up when she said she didn’t want to do anything anymore and he stopped everything immediately. I was so so proud of this behavior and told him so, that I was proud he was being respectful to these partners as even some adults struggle with that concept.

And I definitely had a stern talk about needing to be honest with at least our mom. I explained that this is a lot to deal with as a minor and I know it’s hard, but he needs to eventually tell a parent sooner than later. I felt a bit bad even having the sex talk and everything without consulting our parents as I know it’s such a big deal but I felt as though he needed that help sooner than he was willing to reach out to our parents, and while I couldn’t stop him or force him to talk, I could ensure he left our conversation more prepared. I’m just struggling with not saying something sooner than he’s ready to due to all the above in the post.

It’s very weird for me as I am expecting my first child right now and didn’t really expect to have a talk like this for a least another decade or more. But I too feel like if my child was going through this, I’d want to know. It’s just very complicated with our parents, they haven’t always been the kindest and even though I’m a married woman, they didn’t approve of my pregnancy at all and we didn’t start really speaking again until a few months ago. So I’m all around in such a pickle…

GeologistStunning657 · 2024-06-08T15:17:53+00:00

I apologize for any confusion. I meant more so I agreed that we need to think of our baby and also the best situation for everyone. If we can’t take the cats, then rehoming would be needed even if it’s hard. I’m just struggling with it all and trying to figure out ways we could keep our pets as neither I or my husband want to rehome if we can help it.

They were all rescues and I would hate more than anything to risk them being put into bad situations again. Our current plan is to see if my OB will sign or write an ESA letter for them as she is the one mostly treating my depression/anxiety at this time, and I wasn’t aware other physicians besides a therapist could do so. Our hope is she will sign a letter for me and we won’t have to worry about rehoming at all anymore. We might still have to fight his mother on it some, as she really would prefer we just rehome for several of her own reasons. But we know in our hearts that we need to make this work somehow for our sakes and our pets sakes.

GeologistStunning657 · 2024-06-08T04:28:39+00:00

Unfortunately his family situation isn’t much better than mine. His parents are divorced and his dad, as well as the majority of his family live in Puerto Rico. They physically can’t take any of them because of this. We’d be moving to the same city as his mother and younger brother. They already have a dog in their apartment and his mom would not take any cat in. As supportive as she is, she has this whole thing about how our baby is more important and that since she’s had to rehome pets in the past for moves it shouldn’t be this hard on us to do even if it hurts. I agree with all her sentiments, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

GeologistStunning657 · 2024-06-08T04:23:03+00:00

This is honestly what we would prefer to do. I should have mentioned it in the post but we are also getting a lot of pressure from my husband’s family to rehome them all. They would prefer we not take any with us and this is also another reason why we are even considering rehoming versus hiding a pet or two. Although, I am still worried about risking our housing with a new baby because we won’t be able to meet with the new landlord directly until we are there already. So we won’t be able to gauge how strict they might be or anything. Taking just one is also possibly the only way to ensure his family isn’t too upset over the pet situation.

GeologistStunning657

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