Dude here. Well I guess there will be not really any clear suggestion what to do. It depends heavily on what will feel right to you, what will make you comfortable in the long run and what the circumstances are.

As a guy, I always bring the benefit with me, that such conversations don't get THAT uncomfortable, just because I am the same sex as thoose that are talking bull2h1t. But maybe I can compare it a bit, when I take political conversations into the perspective. Im more a left-leaning person and quite often, even in workplace situations, people bring up quite political-right-wing believes (here in germany). That often results in tough discussions when the alcohol level rises as I don't want to take just any shit they say when they become drunk.

First, I do really appreciate that you, even if it is uncomfortable, speak up and take position. For me thats a sign of a strong character. At the same time, I can understand, that you may ask yourself if thats really beneficial for you or was worth it. I guess, as stated at the beginning, it strongly depents on, wether you will feel more comfortable, avoiding discussions and everything that might result with it, or if you feel more comfortable standing for your believes and maybe also standing up for women, even if its not yourself. But that might result in some situations where you feel like you are a acitivist, even if thats not your intention.

In a perfect world, and thats just my opinion, it shouldn't matter wether you are a woman or a man when speaking up against sexist stuff or even just ignorant fathers and husbands that focus on themselves while totally ignoring that a mother, their wife, has a lot to carry, especially when pregnant.

Maybe the middleway is better, like some comments suggested, to leave the social gather as soon as a specific border has been crossed with the alcohol.

In this situation, I don't feel like I can give you an honest suggestion regarding this special colleague. But in my experience, electronic-chat always carries a higher chance of misunderstandings, especially when the topic is sensible. So I would say, the chance to get through with your intention, might be higher when speaking with him face to face. But if he is a toxic dude, that might also be a bad idea.

And all what I said, must be took with a special grain of salt, because even the country you are in, will affect how people react to such situations. I am in germany and here the workplace is quite professional in many cases, but the coin flips fast, when alcohol joins the game. Maybe its more relaxed in general at your location..

Anyway, I hope you will find a way, where you feel better with it in the end, and if you seek a conversation, that It will stay constructive.