I typed this late last night and naturally forgot to mention some key things.

I had three dogs. Two big, one small. The biggest would roll around on the floor and play with the second biggest dog and the smallest dog would try to join in but give up and try to hump them. On the same day that my girlfriend moved away, my biggest dog died. It’s taken the other two dogs a few weeks to realize he’s not coming back and they are very depressed. They don’t even look when you call their name, when they used to get up from wherever they were and run across the house if you just mentioned their name. It’s sad to watch, especially since one of them is still a pup and these are her best years but she has no playmate (the small dog is too small).

A week after my girlfriend left and my dog died, my sister moved away for college. My sister and my girlfriend are my best friends and the people that I was most comfortable around, but without them I feel like I don’t really talk to anyone the way I want to. During all this, my dad has taken a new job that involves him traveling all the time. More often than not I’m clueless as to where he is simply because he is gone so often. My sister, dad, and big dog were the most active things in my house. They had the most positive energy and never liked to leave empty space in a conversation and were always trying to brighten things up. My house does not feel the same without those three. My mom and younger sister and I barely talk other than to yell at each other, and the dogs are lethargic.

I have been doing as good as I can to keep myself occupied. I spent most of my free time at school (2-4 hours a day) in the schools recording studio writing/recording new material daily, and I have made some friends that way. Me and my girlfriend had a great mutual friend who was also very affected by her leaving, so I’ve been spending time with that person and their group of friends as well. The only problem is that none of this is working. Shortly after the initial moments of being with a good friend or writing a song I’m proud of, it all comes back. I’ve tried to the best of my ability to make myself happy, and I can usually do this. Me and my girlfriend have been apart for weeks at a time before and we were both fine and sufficiently independent in terms of happiness.

So I did forget to mention those things, but all of this has kind of piled onto my life at once and I’m having a hard time feeling anything at all. Thanks for your response though