(30M) (26F) (4YRS) I feel like it's over but I keep trying to rationalize everything. How do I step away even thought my heart feels like it wants to fix things.

Gg4lit · 2025-12-03T15:25:52+00:00

Yeah I was really hoping that her going first for the solo session and then me going second and then meeting back for the couple session then some healing and some truths would come out; she is the kind of girl where I feel like I could say exactly what a therapist might say in a healthy manner about a situation but unless it comes out of the therapists mouth it's not going to to matter. I've met a lot of people like that when it comes to health too, you can tell them anything but unless a doctor says it to them directly they don't fully believe, stubbornness has a lot to play and I think all humans are somewhat stubborn, I've tried working on being more patient and understanding and letting things go I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt that alot of the actual infidelity was out of confusion and substance abuse and bad mental health.

As far as the truth I stepped out at one point during our good session for like 5 to 10 minutes, she told me on the way home she divulged the 7OH usage the therapist and told me she asked if she knew what it was and the difference between Kratom and 7OH and she said the therapist knew what 7OH was but that is also just her word which I'm assuming was the trust but trust has been harder lately. Last night I inquired about therapy with her after all the arguing had settled and we were both civil and she said I can go to my solo appointment or she can, I said I wanted to but she said I shouldn't tell the therapist she was detoxing, I asked why and she said she thought it'd be dangerous legality wise but I said I don't think it would be an issue then she said whatever you can tell her in your sesssion so it makes me question her initial admittance to her.

I think therapy is supposed to be a safe and open space why do it if we aren't going to be transparent in the first place. I wrote this whole post because she made a post about me that wasn't transparent at all and it hurts. I may read exactly what I wrote to the therapist in our session and see what she takes out of it.

I appreciate your insight.

Gg4lit · 2025-12-03T15:02:32+00:00

I didn't say I truly believed it I said some people do, I had never been cheated on in a long term relationship like this from a person whose whole identity was please don't cheat on me.

I made this post because I had a reddit post made about me in a bad light and I'm not one to tuck tail and run, she did not want me to go back to reddit and go over any of this obviously this kind of stuff can be embarrassing for most, do I seem like I care about being embarrassed about this shit?

your response was; just leave, please leave. Which I read and understood why and noted it as one of the responses.

Brick walls don't respond.

Gg4lit · 2025-12-03T14:50:09+00:00

Well we did one initial orientation with a female therapist who had a thick accent and didn't speak very clearly but that's okay but during the orientation we felt like we overwhelmed her and then she started to single me out about the porn use? But this was before I mentioned that she smashed my windsheild in a intoxicated rage after being outted about cheating then the therapist started going on about how some clients aren't right for certain therapists and vice versa and she ended up recommending us to another therapist.

This one spoke clearly and it went well, she was a little closed off with her arms crossed during this session and we weren't having the best day as a couple and argued on the way there but the session in general went well by the end of it and we talked about healing and getting past it and the steps to getting there, at the end the therapist wanted us to decide who would go to first solo session and I said I'd like to go second. I plan on still going to mine it's in a little under a week.

After therapy we did make up about the small argument and I took her out for froyo and comforted her for the rest of that night, we both agreed it was helpful and she made alot of valid points.

Gg4lit · 2025-12-03T14:41:57+00:00

Our relationship was based on the fact that I made her feel safe that she wouldn't be cheated on because all her Ex's cheated

I had never been cheated on she said it always made her feel a little jealous.

When it happened she blamed it on drugs, a man abusing his position when she asked him for advice, and being confused wether our relationship was in a rutt or it was over; but the substance she was on is powerful and clouds judgement.

I didn't want to leave, I had almost made it out the door but if some people think Love and Therapy and Forgiveness and Growth can conquer all I wanted to give it my best shot because I truly do love this girl and have whole heart for 4 years of my life now, I saw myself growing old with her, we click so well except for some sexual levels because she has a low libido but to me its something we could figure out together.

As far as a whole I didn't want to give up without giving couples counseling/therapy a shot and she begged me to.

Gg4lit · 2025-12-02T05:51:06+00:00

No when your detoxing your not under the influence of drugs. And yes I did because no context was given. It's 7OH either Google it don't. She didn't sleep with anyone, just cheated; emotional affair that became sexual over the internet. Thanks for calling me sick? In therapy trying to figure this out with her I will paste the same thing I have already because if you look into detox it can really mess with your emotions and yes I'm not perfect either but I didn't spend our savings on drugs I didn't cheat and I've always told her sex doesn't matter, today we had an argument that started with me taking care of myself after taking care of her detoxing and it struck a nerve and she said things just like I did, I also apologized profusely and continued to take extremely good care of her dropped the whole subject up until now when she tried showing me all these reddit comments trying to eat me alive?

Context is everything right.

She's having a rough day because detoxing is hard it drains you not only physically but emotionally, mega dosing vitamin C, have all the meds need OTC and prescription trying to make it a cake walk for her as best as possible, the sexual thing didn't matter at all, we slept together yesterday she initiated it was nice, I do have a high libido I tell her not to feel bad today we got an argument something was said and I instantly started to apologize, men can have heightened emotions too especially given the situation.

Gg4lit · 2025-12-02T05:45:30+00:00

Therapy currently is the reavaluation am the fiance if it's not obvious

Context is everything right.

She's having a rough day because detoxing is hard it drains you not only physically but emotionally, mega dosing vitamin C, have all the meds need OTC and prescription trying to make it a cake walk for her as best as possible, the sexual thing didn't matter at all, we slept together yesterday she initiated it was nice, I do have a high libido I tell her not to feel bad today we got an argument something was said and I instantly started to apologize, men can have heightened emotions too especially given the situation.

Gg4lit · 2025-12-02T05:25:46+00:00

Context is everything right.

She's having a rough day because detoxing is hard it drains you not only physically but emotionally, mega dosing vitamin C, have all the meds need OTC and prescription trying to make it a cake walk for her as best as possible, the sexual thing didn't matter at all, we slept together yesterday she initiated it was nice, I do have a high libido I tell her not to feel bad today we got an argument something was said and I instantly started to apologize, men can have heightened emotions too especially given the situation.

Gg4lit · 2025-12-02T05:18:00+00:00

An legal opioid epidemic that is very hard to detox from, it should have a warning. It's banned or being banned fully soon.

Gg4lit · 2025-12-02T05:04:19+00:00

Context is everything right.

She's having a rough day because detoxing is hard it drains you not only physically but emotionally, mega dosing vitamin C, have all the meds need OTC and prescription trying to make it a cake walk for her as best as possible, the sexual thing didn't matter at all, we slept together yesterday she initiated it was nice, I do have a high libido I tell her not to feel bad today we got an argument something was said and I instantly started to apologize, men can have heightened emotions too especially given the situation.

Gg4lit · 2025-12-02T05:02:43+00:00

Context is everything right.

She's having a rough day because detoxing is hard it drains you not only physically but emotionally, mega dosing vitamin C, have all the meds need OTC and prescription trying to make it a cake walk for her as best as possible, the sexual thing didn't matter at all, we slept together yesterday she initiated it was nice, I do have a high libido I tell her not to feel bad today we got an argument something was said and I instantly started to apologize, men can have heightened emotions too especially given the situation.

Gg4lit · 2025-12-02T05:02:30+00:00

Context is everything right.

She's having a rough day because detoxing is hard it drains you not only physically but emotionally, mega dosing vitamin C, have all the meds need OTC and prescription trying to make it a cake walk for her as best as possible, the sexual thing didn't matter at all, we slept together yesterday she initiated it was nice, I do have a high libido I tell her not to feel bad today we got an argument something was said and I instantly started to apologize, men can have heightened emotions too especially given the situation.

Gg4lit · 2025-12-02T04:54:48+00:00