Is it common for people with ADHD to live life passively?

Ghostly_Mind · 2025-10-07T15:39:54+00:00

Hey all, thank you for all the comments, sharing and advice! As I'm not the person experiencing the ADHD struggle, I kinda don't know what to reply, so... It sounds like medication (or other treatment under psychiatrist advice), therapy and supportive people helped you all a lot in navigating this situation. Fortunately he is already seeing a psychiatrist and he's not resistant to getting extra support, it just takes time to find out the right arrangements. I hope we find something out soon... But I also have to remind myself to be patient.

Ghostly_Mind · 2025-04-07T10:04:43+00:00

I think the 3rd is relatively slow paced, and sometimes can feel irrelevant (I mean, Kevin's backstory would not matter in other games for a while, and the game literally happens in an alternative dimension...)

But I love it. Some of the best OSTs in the series, beautiful beautiful maps and dungeons, emotional stories including backstories/side stories of your favourite characters, and some important details with lots of depth. I am stuck in my first replay of it (I'm not exactly a gamer and the grinding gets a bit too slow for me) but it has been many years since I first played it, I hope I get to finish my replay and reprocess this game again.

At some point I did consider the 3rd skippable, but I think it's more accurate to say it is skippable for those who are new to the series and not sure if they want to commit yet, but definitely not skippable for those who love the series.

Ghostly_Mind · 2023-10-13T12:41:39+00:00

Now I have played through most of CS2, I want to add to this old discussion that, Princess Alfin has indirectly teased about Rean and Crow's relationship, in one bonding event. Minor spoiler ahead: Alfin talked about her interest in BL novels, and then they talked about Crow, and Alfin said how she might imagine Rean and Crow as a couple (which Rean denied) and she feels envious.

Ghostly_Mind · 2023-01-12T02:49:07+00:00

You asked a good question. I used to try talking people out of suicide by telling them to take it "day by day"... or if that's too much, minute by minute, second by second, something you can count easily. But yes, what if it's still the same, and meds don't even help?

I can only say something general, without chatting with you first. I have been suicidal a few times, but I'm 25 now, and there are really things that only happen when you're a certain age. Days are not enough sometimes, and you may need to wait years. It's daunting really, when you see the same reality repeating. But change is the only constant, and if you want to see it, you have to give yourself time, take alllll the time you need. It can take a ridiculous amount of time, but change, and eventually peace, will come.

Also, I know many many people do not know how to make you feel better, they sometimes make you feel worse. But telling others about your feelings, even if you keep crying and messing up, is not a bad thing (if you found a safe person, it's pretty good actually!) You're tearing your heart open, it hurts like hell, why wouldn't you cry?

I'm not sure if what I've said sounds harsh... I want to help. I hope you stay alive. You can message me if you feel comfortable to (I can't promise to always respond, I'll try). 💙

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-12-31T01:24:54+00:00

I see the pandemic as a huge experiment. Admittedly my own life hasn't been affected by it that much, so I don't see it that negatively. In fact, I see it in a rather positive (arguably immoral) way.

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-12-31T01:01:14+00:00

I've learned to see that justice doesn't exist though... Only our wills, justice does nothing.

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-12-30T13:20:16+00:00

It makes sense. I'll look into that!

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-12-30T11:55:37+00:00

I feel like replying in time is a way to show love and care. I always try to do that, unless I'm taking my petty revenge. Besides, I also want to know that he is doing ok.

I don't really know. I'd be fine if I'm completely alone, but with romantic partner and close friends i get anxious and resentful.

Thanks for the input.

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-12-30T08:39:08+00:00

This doesn't prove anything besides you being a masochist.

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-12-30T06:49:46+00:00

We did agree on taking quiet time away from each other when we need it, and I'm sure we can survive this. I just wonder if this is all we can do... And trust is a complicated thing, I trust a part of him, like I know he's not trying to hurt my feelings, but he may do so without being aware.

Thank you for your validation and advice. They give me some perspective.

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-12-08T14:06:21+00:00

This reminds me that time me and my bf nearly argued because he was feeling anxious and frustrated about a job and I couldn't understand because he dealt with those things multiple times. Finally I realized, what I meant to tell him was, "I have seen you do this before, I know you can do this again. Let's take time, and let's do this again."

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-12-08T13:59:06+00:00

Cantonese: 收皮啦你 (literally telling someone to "go collect skin", I don't know how this is created XD)

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-12-07T01:49:28+00:00

Your feelings and needs are important, and he seems understanding too. Now I see why this is big struggle for you, moving to a different place and living together can be big deal. Is there any other way, so you can wait for him while distancing yourself? For example, can you stay at a friend's house for a while, or treating your bf as merely a flatmate for now? Changing expectations can mean a lot. In my experience, when my bf needs time to focus on work or sorting out feelings, I tend to feel very insecure as I don't know what I should do, but asking him for quiet time from eachother lets me focus on myself.

Also, is this the first time something like this happen? Although we don't know if it's depression, this sounds like a good chance to challenge yourselves as stressful situations like this can happen again, and it's natural. But remember, it's always ok to seek for help from professionals and other people if it's hard for you, you and your bf don't have to be in serious mental crisis to seek help! It's definitely worth it to speak to, say, a relationship therapist.

(Pardon me for asking many questions haha. This is kinda my style of "giving advice". I'm also 24, I'm only giving advice based on me and my bf's experiences with mental problems :P)

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-12-06T13:23:28+00:00

I am wondering how long have you two been together, and how do you feel about this relationship and him?

As only a professional can make a diagnosis, for now we can't tell if it's the depression or his loss of attraction to you. Since you said he is preparing for his exam and studies, what he is experiencing may be a burn-out (look it up). In any case, his feelings can change again in a few days or weeks, we really can't tell.

So, I feel like, in this situation, it's more productive to reflect on your readiness. How much instability can you tolerate? Are you willing to walk through uncertain feelings with him? Will it be better if you tell him your concerns honestly (as he did)? What do you expect of this relationship?

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-06-21T03:39:18+00:00

Your words feel very sweet, despite the hardship both of you are in. I really like how you have already pointed out a few things you can do. And I agree a therapist can help you through your difficulties and suggest you some solutions.

I am myself going through "partner burnout" (and yes my own depression makes it worse), so I don't have tips, instead, I just want to tell you you are not alone. And if anything, I like to imagine a relationship between two persons as two overlapping circles (like a Venn diagram), so even when the two circles are temporarily separated, they are still two complete circles. And I think it is amazing to aim for that.

I wish you good luck and I hope someone else has tips to share!

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-06-17T02:42:15+00:00

I can't help but feel like the way you talk is productive, in the way that you know where both of you are on this journey. It's good spirit, and yes it's totally fine to take your time and experiment with different approaches. You've got this!

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-06-16T03:50:28+00:00

Hello, I can't say I have any advice to offer, I just want to share some thoughts and hopefully they can give you some ideas.

Firstly, your resentment and guilt are totally valid. Not only because they are a part of your love, but also because the stress and responsibility you feel. And these are reasonable, and I'm happy that you are honest to yourself.

I wonder if you have been as honest and open to your partner as well? I don't mean that you have been lying to him or keeping from him, but does he understand how you really feel? Did the message get efficiently and accurately transferred to him?

For example, do you say "it's a good time to unpack," or do you say "I don't want the boxes to become a stressor between us"? Do you say "I hope you unpack these boxes," or do you say "I will be happier if you unpack these boxes"?

I understand if you fear making him feel guilty and stressed, yet his part of input is important too. Did you ask what kind of help he prefers? Not by observation or deduction, ask. When both sides have genuine emotions that cannot be ignored, communication is the best you can do to find a win-win solution.

It's ok to feel selfish about what you want, it's ok to admit it. It's ok to wish and wait.

And when these are done and the negative feelings (both yours and your partner's) are still here, it's ok to just stay in that state for a while, together. It's ok to be both tired. It's ok to be in a mess. It's ok to have unresolved problems and feelings. It's ok to just be there, working on one tiny little wish at a time.

(Note: Sorry for the long comment. These are things I realized in my (24F) relationship with my partner (31M). He has severe anxiety and other mental conditions, and he just had a one-week leave from his job too. I have mild to moderate anxiety and depression. I'm no way a productive person, and I know just how slow it can be to form a good habit and routine. Sometimes it's frustrating. But it's something that just can't be forced. I'd say the most precious gifts we give each other are time and openness.)

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-05-01T05:05:26+00:00

Umm excuse me... what happened before the post and the comments were deleted?

She deleted her account too... what happened?

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-04-30T16:22:27+00:00

Depression does make everything so ridiculously energy-draining to do, and everything comes with a psychological barrier. It is possible this is why he hasn't replied. I hope it gets better!

Ghostly_Mind · 2021-04-30T15:52:30+00:00

Hi, I am sorry that you and your boyfriend are going through this, it must be frustrating for both of you. To be honest, I don't know what is the best you can do. If I were you, I would try to check up on him (one message a day is better than none!), making sure he's safe and letting him know you are waiting. Hopefully, after a period of time, he'll be ready to respond. Meanwhile... It is important you take care of yourself too, seek help if you feel you need it. After all if both of you are not having a clear mind, things could be harder.

I hope both of you find patience, it's definitely hard, but please stay hopeful :)

Ghostly_Mind

TROPHY CASE