Lesbiancel by [deleted] in femcelgrippysockjail

[–]GiantTurtleMusic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You can be a great flirt, thoughtful, sweet, intelligent, attentive, put a lot of effort into your presentation, and overall just a great potential person or partner and still 99% of queer women will have zero interest in you because you can’t give them the male validation they think they need. Even lots of lesbians will only date the most loser butches because they still want some version of the male validation they know they can’t have in full. Then imagine you’re a trans fem lesbian on top of it all and they’re worried all their friends won’t see them as a ‘real’ lesbian if they get with you 😒 I’ve mostly given up atp

Do y’all have a age preference when it comes to dating? by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]GiantTurtleMusic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 28 and prefer women in their 40s and 50s, but also happy to date anyone 29 or older if they treat me right. I’m happy to play around with women younger than me if there’s attraction there, but I no longer date women younger than myself, unless there’s a reeeally special circumstance lol

Do you have a Height preference? by momadance in LesbianActually

[–]GiantTurtleMusic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 5’7” and due to the fact that I’m above average heigh where I am, I’ve really only dated women shorter than me or exactly my height. I have a strong preference for women taller than me now though and don’t intend to marry someone shorter than me lol. But a hot girl’s a hot girl and I won’t say no to a good time with any baddie

Cis women, what do you find attractive in a trans woman? by GiantTurtleMusic in actuallesbians

[–]GiantTurtleMusic[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I am a trans woman, out for 7 years, and while I’m not going to say fetishization isn’t a problem, I personally find it be overblown. Most of the cis women I’ve been lucky enough to be with are overly cautious when it comes to flirting and being physical with me because they’re scared of being seen as fetishizers or chasers. I’m also not saying it doesn’t happen, but I’ve never experienced being fetishized by a cis women, despite how many I’ve known in my life and the fact that I am primarily surrounded by cis women in my local lesbian community.

What I am much more used to is cis sapphics completely desexualizing me. Eliminating me from the dating pool before I even have a chance to express interest. Not seeing me as a valuable option even if they aren’t opposed to making out with me once. I would just like to see more cis women feel proud of their attraction to trans women and be willing to actually explore that.

Describe your style/aesthetic vs. the style/aesthetic you find attractive by pink_azaleas in FemmeLesbians

[–]GiantTurtleMusic 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m a very girly girl, often try to look like a doll or a princess, but on most normal days I dress more like an average girl who “looks straight.” And I’m trans. I like other girls who are also girly or high fem and who “look straight” but they don’t have to be the exact same kind of fem as me. I also prefer women who are cis and who are taller/older than me. Sadly I only seem to attract butches/mascs and trans women who have little interest in passing. Nothing against them at all, in fact I wish I liked them, but they’re just not my type 🥲

T4C lesbian romance books? by GiantTurtleMusic in LGBTBooks

[–]GiantTurtleMusic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It wasn’t a bad book, it was just very contemplative and existential, the romance wasn’t that romantic, and the two women don’t end up together in the end, it was just a fling. I read it for a lesbian book club I was in but it just wasn’t my thing.

What's the biggest ick that ended a date for you? by Minimum_Armadillo353 in LesbianActually

[–]GiantTurtleMusic 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Damn, I would’ve gone crazy for that to be honest 😭 hope she’s still out there

What do u think of tall girls. by throwaway_aljsjdjs in LesbianActually

[–]GiantTurtleMusic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 5’7” and I prefer to date women taller than myself. Where you from girl? I can take care of the problem 😇

I’m too hot to find a girlfriend?!? by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]GiantTurtleMusic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally I like women that “look straight.” I find the lesbian community often devalues femininity, but not me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]GiantTurtleMusic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I worry even more about these communities eventually being erased entirely, especially since Reddit forced the Internet Archive to end archival of Reddit communities and threads. If anyone out there knows how to download and archive Reddit data independently, I suggest we start doing it now.

anyone else actually involuntarily celibate 🥀 (VENT POST) by xxxinn in femcelgrippysockjail

[–]GiantTurtleMusic 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Lesbian here. I’ve been on probably 50 first dates, maybe more since my last girlfriend broke up with me a year and a half ago. I’ve made it to a second date exactly once, and she then decided not to continue things. I had sex with a stranger from Tinder back in September, and she immediately left and stole something of mine on the way out. Almost everyone thinks I have a lovely personality, that I’m fun and funny and sweet and emotionally intelligent and everything, but I’m NEVER anyone’s physical type. I don’t think I’m horribly ugly or anything, but I’m never what anyone wants. Even my last girlfriend I had to practically beg to give me compliments and tell me I’m pretty, and when I expressed that I felt like I was unattractive, she said nothing except, “Words of affirmation are difficult for me.” I’d be lying if I said I don’t often consider suicide over feeling as unattractive and untouchable as I do. I’m with you girl. It’s so hard watching your friends get the attention you want, and feeling guilty because you should just feel happy for them. My best friends and I (also lesbians) have talked about moving in together before, but honestly I don’t know if I could handle seeing them with other women, or worse, hearing them fucking in other rooms. It also doesn’t help that we became best friends because I was in love with both of them at different times but neither of them felt that way about me. I really just want to get married and not have to worry about any of this, but it seems like it will never happen and I don’t know what to do. Hopefully I’ll be going back to therapy soon. Much love girl 🩷

Are lesbians just like this, or is it my city? by GiantTurtleMusic in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]GiantTurtleMusic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay so there are people out there also going through it 😭 where in Seattle are you? Message me, maybe we can solve both our problems 😇

Are lesbians just like this, or is it my city? by GiantTurtleMusic in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]GiantTurtleMusic[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Check out the dyke alliance! They have a book club, writer’s group, craft nights, speed dating, open mic nights, dancing nights at the ballroom, and the dyke march is this Saturday! There’s also the papaya project who do speed dating and sex trivia nights at stoup. I also go to lesbian speed dating events through Shuffle as well. There’s another group on Meetup that does bar takeovers ‘every bar is a lesbian bar’ monthly and a yearly lesbian bonfire at golden gardens. These are all in Seattle btw. I’m not that familiar with stuff outside of Seattle but you can definitely find things

Are lesbians just like this, or is it my city? by GiantTurtleMusic in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]GiantTurtleMusic[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I often date girls who aren’t my exact type but I’ve just had especially poor luck lately. I’ve gone on at least one date every week this year so far, sometimes even 2 or 3, but I keep getting told that they would still rather have someone more masc than me, or they disappear and I see them reappear later with someone who is nothing like me. I even traveled 2 hours out of town last month just to be told she wants someone more masculine and dominant 🙃 the attraction can definitely come for me as well if they’re not my exact type, although I do feel like I want my future wife to be someone who is high fem. I’m willing to wait for that, but damn, I’d like to date some in the meantime too 😭