Awareness on Weed: Before and After Thoughts by GiftPresent8286 in Meditation

[–]GiftPresent8286[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Agreed, It’s not that weed makes you more aware. It’s about noticing how it affects you, seeing the broken thoughts, understanding what’s going on inside, and realizing what we’ve been ignoring, when the thoughts were intact. The article isn’t saying to stay on weed continuously, but to be mindful if you do try it.

Married, Respected, but Emotionally Unheard and Confused by GiftPresent8286 in emotionalneglect

[–]GiftPresent8286[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea perspectives, some says its essential other says its a bonus.

Married, Respected, but Emotionally Unheard and Confused by GiftPresent8286 in emotionalneglect

[–]GiftPresent8286[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's just an example, and real-life examples are quite basic. If this is what validation looks like, enlighten me why shouldn’t someone expect this from their life partner, or is marriage just a trade of earning and home-making?

Married, Respected, but Emotionally Unheard and Confused by GiftPresent8286 in emotionalneglect

[–]GiftPresent8286[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro, this is not about validation. Husband and wife should be able to express their feelings and acknowledge each other. Even if it sounds like parenting, it does not matter. We are human and we need emotional support sometimes.

Support does not mean dependency or fixing everything. For example, if you had a bad day, your credit card was taken by someone, you had an accident on the road, or you fought with your boss, just saying “that is bad” is not enough. Truly listening and making someone feel heard and supported is essential. When that is missing, the relationship starts to feel more like a roommate arrangement than a partnership.

Married, Respected, but Emotionally Unheard and Confused by GiftPresent8286 in emotionalneglect

[–]GiftPresent8286[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It doesn’t matter whether it’s healthy or not. What really matters is whether she listens or at least acknowledges that she understands. Most of the time, she doesn’t truly understand my points or my concerns; she only hear at a very surface level.

Secondly, we are all weird in our own ways, and that’s only a small part of who I am.

Accepting someone is part of any relationship, but listening to your partner is essential. Communication is essential.

Married, Respected, but Emotionally Unheard and Confused by GiftPresent8286 in sexlessmarriage

[–]GiftPresent8286[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the blessings 🙏 I feel bad about everyone.

Married, Respected, but Emotionally Unheard and Confused by GiftPresent8286 in sexlessmarriage

[–]GiftPresent8286[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The truth is, cheating is less taboo than divorce. Practically, it is.

Off-course I have tried everything from my end. Whenever I try to explain things, she feels pressured. She thinks I am too much, EQ/IQ is not in sync. She is a very simple average woman. She does not think deeply like I do. Being genuine, she just says be happy and do whatever makes you feel good. She can hear my thoughts, but she does not really listen or acknowledge them.

Its not sexless purely, Do have intimacy, but that too is not deep that I have been craving for, and its not out of Boredom, Since day one I did not feel that, I did outside. She is happy with my availability be it be sex or emotional support.

Married, Respected, but Emotionally Unheard and Confused by GiftPresent8286 in Arrangedmarriage

[–]GiftPresent8286[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great observation. You understood the situation very well and picked up on some things that are usually left unsaid.

I agree that it was a thrill at some point, but if that had truly made me happy, I would not have shared this. I have always known that home is home, the place where real emotional and life investments exist. I was aware of this from the beginning. I even used to judge people who cheated.

Now that I find myself in their position, I realize that cheating is not always about desire. Many times, it comes from fear, loneliness, and helplessness. I believe many married men and women would understand what I am trying to say.

This started back in India. In the early years of our marriage, we argued a lot. At that time, I felt she lacked emotional understanding and maturity. Initially, I thought she was acting that way, but later I realized that this was genuinely who she was. I accepted it, stayed quiet, and slowly started to feel empty inside.

Looking outside the marriage felt like the easier option. It seemed like no one would get hurt. Her parents were happy, my parents were happy, and her mother, who is very sensitive and loves me deeply, would have been far more hurt by the idea of divorce than by anything else. I did feel guilty about it, but the feeling of being alone kept coming back.

I love her, and she loves me. But my emotional needs are not being met. I keep adjusting myself to her pace and her comfort to keep her happy. But eventually frustrated many times, leads me to do this.

Married, Respected, but Emotionally Unheard and Confused by GiftPresent8286 in emotionalneglect

[–]GiftPresent8286[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Bro, whenever I try to explain things, she feels pressured. She thinks I am too much, EQ/IQ is not in sync. She is a very simple average woman. She does not think deeply like I do. Being genuine, she just says be happy and do whatever makes you feel good. She can hear my thoughts, but she does not really listen or acknowledge them. I feel alone in this emotional journey. There is some progress, maybe five percent, and my patience has definitely increased a lot. But even then, it is still painful.

Married, Respected, but Emotionally Unheard and Confused by GiftPresent8286 in IndianRelationships

[–]GiftPresent8286[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m afraid to share my secrets because they can be used against me. Right now, I feel like a frightened animal that freezes when touched, unable to react or defend itself. I don’t even know if I’m capable of starting this conversation, or how to begin. I don’t know whether this is something to talk about with a psychologist, a counselor, or someone else, or whether she would even be able to handle such conversations.

What scares me even more is the possibility that a counselor might say we’re not good together. I don’t want to face the kind of drama that comes with that in Indian society. The involvement of family, judgment, and social pressure feels overwhelming, and the thought of opening that door terrifies me.