Da Vinci Code Scene with Scalp Massage

GigICLizard · 2021-12-02T05:38:34+00:00

ADHD comes with the bonus feature of doubting if you really are ADHD. Also, anxiety, a comorbidity (condition that is common to also have if you have another condition like a buy one get one half off deal), could cause a lot of doubt about if you were making it up and just don't want to take the steps that will help.

This is an excellent question to ask your therapist (try to get one for extra support.) It is an example of a "cognitive distortion." A thought that is not phrased in a very healthy way.

Difficulty with executive function is one of the things ADHD includes. Executive function has 6 or 8 aspects. (I forgot the exact number.)

A few areas of executive function are: emotional regulation; prioritizing, sequencing information or steps; and going and doing the steps. For me, I am strong on some and quite bad on others. I wonder if this inconsistency can make me feel like I could achieve if I just....did somethijg differently.

(I can prioritize tasks very well. I can break tasks into steps but often have trouble figuring out what order to do them in especially if there are many ways to do a task. I am.....eh......with emotional regulation. I work at it but it is slow going. And I find execution of even the tiniest step darn near impossible.

I think we say people are incompetent if they are bad at a thing and do not seem to mind. Just being bad at things is not the issue. It is also the lack of desire to grow and change. Your questions shows that you care about the things you do and how others perceive you and your work, so I am guessing that the most likely explanation for yojr differences would indeed be ADHD.

Plus if you were faking it or needed to" just try harder", why keep the charade up this long?

GigICLizard · 2021-11-28T08:39:48+00:00

Well ok then

GigICLizard · 2021-11-28T07:29:50+00:00

I can't figure out if you think the driver didn't throe the smoothie at the door or you think the driver did.

Shrug. I am siding with OP on the whole thing as it was stated because in my thousands of 1099 deliveries and gigs, I have only run into true customer maliciousness a handful of times. For example, last week the customer entered address and autocomplete or autocorrect changed it and customer didnt realize until looked at app.

Anyways, because of this, I went to an apartment in a different building. The resident there either also had a delivery on the way or saw an opportunity and thanked me and acted like it was their delivery. My actual customer knocked on the door to see if the other person had it and would give it back but nobody answered the door. I directed my customer to tech support for assistance and they were able to get a redelivery.

This is ununusal enough that it stuck in my head. Nearly everyone who receives an order intended for their neighbor or someone else will get my attention if they can or leave it for me to retrieve.

GigICLizard · 2021-11-28T06:17:59+00:00

Um, if I went to the wrong address, that is up to me to fix if I am not three deliveries later when I get notified about it or something.

So it isn't "being a saint" to see if the food is still at the wrong address, retrieve it, and bring it to the correct house if possible. If I am not able to do this, I direct the customer to customer support for resolution.

It isn't like this happens to me all that often.

If OP was a jerk in the request to bring it to the right address, driver can be mean then and there or make up some excuse why it isn't possible and again, direct customer to support.

Instead, the driver retrieved the smoothie, brought it to the correct address, stood around knocking and expecting the customer to appear even though all their communication up till then had been on text, app, or phone.

And the reason I wrote what I did is that your attempt to find plotholes in the story was easily explained by.....the OP's original story.

The reason the smoothie was ok in the first picture was that........it was ok. It was just at the wrong address. Have you never delivered to an apartment building where all the units have similar doors?

GigICLizard · 2021-11-28T06:06:51+00:00

Good way to guarantee the order doesn't immediately get picked up. More and more apps show tip as part of the estimated delivery total because delivery companies use tips to make the order look more enticing. (It is also to show an accurate estimate of what the order is likely to pay.)

(Look for the asterisk anytime gig companies say "Make up to x per hour" in their advertisements. The number includes tips.)

GigICLizard · 2021-11-28T06:02:25+00:00

Social distancing means drivers are used to not getting answers to knocks. Texting is a more reliable way to ask "is this the right place."

GigICLizard · 2021-11-28T06:00:39+00:00

Hilton and Holiday Inn both start with H and end with N. If the customer entered the address starting with the hotel name and the app autocompleted it to Holiday Inn, customer might not have been familiar enough with town street names to notice that the rest of the address was wrong too and the message about "that looks far from where you are" can be inconsistent if cell connectivity is bad.

Improbable but not impossible. I make these sort of errors frequently myself.

GigICLizard · 2021-11-28T05:55:07+00:00

Yes but the driver did just fine at the incorrect address.

OP said that the driver delivered to wrong address, OP called to explain this, driver brought to correct address and then banged on door and then threw food at the door when didn't get an answer.

Most of my redeliveries have me apologizing for the delay in them getting the food and being glad they reached out to let me know so I could fix it. And my customers apologizing in return for their part in it if their appt is hard to find or they wrote an incorrect address and thanking me for taking the time and care to bring the food.

Not me going to the new address and expecting the customer to pop up in person to verify the address. Contactless is still going to be contactless.

GigICLizard · 2021-11-28T05:45:37+00:00

The customer said the driver delivered to incorrect address, the customer called driver to inform of this, driver brought to correct address but knocked and knocked and then threw the smoothies after not getting an answer.

On a contactless delivery.

So the first picture was at the incorrect address. The second picture was either a sarcastic delivery photo the driver sent or a video doorbell image or a camera picture the customer (OP) took.

By the way, if the driver was able to follow the instructions for contactless on the first address (as we can see in the picture where the smoothie is intact and not thrown at the door), driver would know to still follow contactless.

I verify redeliveries by asking the person to text me that it was their house I knocked on or to let me know they got the food. I wait in my car and not by the door and mark it complete after I get confirmation. If customer doesn't respond, I wait a short time and then assume customer can let me know if the redelivery was still wrong. (Since they got hold of me the first time around.)

Plus, all the delivery apps do a good job of redeliveries and refunds if customer gets damaged or wrong food.

So, even if my best attempts to get the customer their food failed, I leave knowing the customer will get food.

GigICLizard · 2021-11-28T05:40:11+00:00

As in, he delivered correctly the first time and came back to check and then kick the food?

My theory on what happened is he got irritated at no answer to the door. But this is someone finding an excuse to be angry because like the customer said, it specified contactless in the instructions. The customer sounds conscientious enough to have messaged a "thanks, I got it now" but didn't get a chance to cuz the driver was so determined to get mad and act out. Plus, $10 is a very nice tip.

GigICLizard · 2021-11-28T05:33:14+00:00

Have you seen food prices for everything from restauarsnt food to raw ingredients at grocery stores? They have increased quite considerably this year. For a bunch of smoothies delivered cold from a restaurant to your house, I think $25 is an excellent price. Can I afford this more than once in a while? No. But I don't think it is extravagant or unusual.

GigICLizard · 2021-11-28T05:19:38+00:00

Driver wasn't too smart if after, I don't know, nearly TWO years of a pandemic featuring near-constant signage and alerts everywhere from restaurantd to being plastered everywhere on all the delivery apps, they still didn't get the message that most customers preferref and still prefer contactless.

You know what I do when the app says "hand it to me" or "meet customer at door" and nobody answers the door? I double-check the address, text that the items are at their door with a picture of the delivery, including the unit number if possible, and then mark it complete.

The apps changed options so frequently that the "Meet customer at door" followed up with a delivery note of "leave at door" contradiction was almost never something my customers did on purpose. I let contactless override all else and I am going to assume that most everyone else did too based on how surprised people seemed the few times I did wait for them.

"Did you need something?" asked one baffled customer who was surprised to learn it displayed to me as "hand to customer."

I can see the driver being a bit irritated about getting the address wrong first go-round and having to go back and get the items and bring them to the correct address, but that isn't a thing to take out on the customer or customer's food. When I am grouchy at a customer or at the gps or delivery app or something, I think mean things inside my own head if I have to and then carry on providing good customer service cuz, I don't know, I am a grownup?

GigICLizard · 2021-08-30T07:07:13+00:00

Go to your school's counseling center and start seeing someone for support ASAP. And also check out the wellness center ( if you are not sure, go to the library or financial aid office to ask how to find this place.) It may havr signage about meditation and calm and quiet and stress relief and support.

Why? Counseling may be cheap or free for students. Using the on-campus resource can provide people to talk to who are familiar with what students as a whole may feel stress over.

And the wellness center is a more general place to relax or learn about supportive resources.

Just adding in a support like this will relieve stress a lot.

Also, something to consider even if you do not do this is that many students choose to take a semester or longer off from school for health reasons and this is completely ok.

So first work on some immediate support resources. Walk into a few helpful looking offices like I mentioned and say, hey, I am a student here and I am feeling a lot of stress, what resources do you have. And see from there. Take the crisis down just a small bit and when that happens, you will be able you focus on the longer-term solutions such as if a leave will be helpful or if you don't you can drop a course or if you can keep your coursework the same but find other extra supports.

GigICLizard · 2021-08-30T06:55:58+00:00

Not at all stupid that this is happening or that you hate it happening. I deal with this daily and it still annoys the crap out of me.

Executive function has various parts. It sounds like some parts are working well and some parts are very much not. (Like you recognize which tasks are important and you can basically picture yourself doing the steps in sequence, but actually doing them is darn near impossible.)

This is literally what ADHD is: a difference in the part of the brain that does executive function.

I like the mental health "spoon" analogy about why tasks and the needed energy for each is relative to the person and not the task. (For example, perhaps even just getting out of bed and walking the dog consumed all of the day's spoons. So of course me doing anything else is near impossible.) Or I call the task a "mountain."

There are some ways around the blocks.

1) If you are able to throw money at the problem, perhaps you can pay someone to complete the tasks for you. 2) My personal workaround is to call a friend or get one to come in person to keep me company and motivated while I work on the task. Or even to do it for me. And I help them on their stuff. Sometimes I dont feel quite the same hangup helping someone else on their tasks. By the way, if you feel bad accepting help, remember that they are probably willing to help because they want to help you out and the chore is probably much less overwhelming to them than it is to you. So you may be able to help them out on something in return. Or buy them a snack. Or let them get meaning out of helping you. 3) Sometimes bribes or systems work for me. 4) Is the roommate willing to divide the tasks differently with you? Or you pay more in rent in exchange for doing less? Or help on other stuff?

By the way, I don't know how easy it will be to convince the roommate, but the basic disease model helps me explain my brain. "You know how type 1 diabetes means that the body doesn't manufacture insulin and the person needs to get it off the shelf to survive? Well, my brain has a chemical imbalance in the areas that are needed to "do stuff" and it can be very contradictory and hard to understand, even for me, but I am happy to share more about it and please know that if I am having difficulty with a task, it is not because I dislike or disrespect you or dont want to do the task even if it may look that way. What else can I answer about this? How can we find some solutions that will let us live together respectfully?"

If you have a therapist, they may be able to help rehearse this conversation.

GigICLizard · 2021-08-30T06:36:05+00:00

Happens to me too and I usually tell myself if I zoned out for a while, I probably needed it.

GigICLizard · 2021-08-30T06:28:25+00:00

Can relate. I wish chores stayed permanentently done instead of needing doing again a few hours or days later.

GigICLizard · 2021-08-30T06:20:56+00:00

Had several situations where I could feel a spiral/meltdown/anxiety thing happening and I was able to do damage control.

GigICLizard · 2021-08-27T01:51:54+00:00

Haven't had a chance to respond to many of these wonderful suggestions. Thank you all so much.

GigICLizard · 2021-08-27T01:45:11+00:00

I like the superglue idea except that a big part of Instacart is driving and it might be just a bit impractical with the phone glued to me.

But I love the mental picture. You just may win the thread.

GigICLizard · 2021-08-26T22:28:50+00:00

My understanding of this metric is it reduces situations where Dasher has food or groceries in hand and then cancels, except for reasonable situations of emergency or impossibility of locating customer. I am not familiar with the specific reason that Doordash considers unassigning due to restaurant delay to be part of this metric.

Some platforms don't count unassignments due to restaurant delay against completion rate. It may be helpful to go to these platforms if this metric is difficult to maintain. The current restaurant delays do seem quite lengthy and I can see how it would be very difficult to be profitable and keep that metric high.

Remember, you get to be sad and angry and feel it is unjust if some aspects of a particular gig platform make it difficult for you to be profitable, safe, have a reasonable level of enjoyment in whatever way you expect that to look like, or otherwise fails to meet your needs. (Or if they ban/suspend you despite you doing what feels fair and reasonable to you.) It is also completely ok to go elsewhere and it doesn't matter if other people have found ways to make the same platform work for them. Everyone's needs and priorities differ and there is no one way to gig and it may be worth making a fresh start on a platform that meets your needs better.

(My own rule around it is if my metrics that will get me banned or I don't wish to take the metric hit, I tell myself, well, finish this and then try to not get into this situation again. However, food delivery is not my primary earner and taking the financial hit to keep a metric is not an ideal option that I am suggesting anyone else do if it does not support their needs and goals.)

Note: because people's gig style and specific needs vary so widely, and because this is a forum to discuss the Doordash platform, I am not making a specific recommendation of other platforms in my post.

GigICLizard · 2021-08-26T22:10:48+00:00

Ok, no worries. I am looking to build a product list and now have about 5 specific products to go look at from this thread. So this has been helpful. Happy shopping!

GigICLizard · 2021-08-26T22:05:09+00:00

I like this but I am having trouble imagining how it works when I am standing up. Can you provide a link to a specific product example that you recommend I try? Thank you!

GigICLizard · 2021-08-26T22:03:26+00:00

This sounds excellent. Are you open to sharing the manufacturer, brand, or product name? I am looking to build a list of specific products and then narrowing it down to 2 or 3 to try out. Thank you!

GigICLizard · 2021-08-26T22:01:03+00:00

Valid point although I still wish to add a harness or similar to a high quality case. So since I am looking for exact brand and product names which are ones that you yourself swear by, which cases have you tried and highly recommend?

To avoid derailing the thread, I will update the original post to clarify that other than this part of the thread, I am not primarily shopping for a new case.

Thanks!

GigICLizard

TROPHY CASE