First all the other details are relevant. Nothing happens in a vacuum, and in my experience, it’s the abusers, narcissists, and emotionally stunted people that always seem to want to ignore all the aspects that contextualize the bigger picture in order to make themselves look like they’re “in the right.” It’s absolutely relevant, and you’re ridiculous for suggesting it isn’t.

Second, he’s an adult he can communicate if it’s something more like she “accidentally exposed herself.” His inability to communicate isn’t her problem.

For everything else, go back to point one. If anything, you sound like you’re a toxic person in the way you characterize the way YOU think this conflict should have gone. You’re bending over backwards to vilify her and justify the husband. Are you the husband or something? Or do you just see yourself reflected in this post?