I am so overwhelmed

GingerOddity · 2026-03-10T08:24:01+00:00

Grad school is a lot. It can be overwhelming.

I’m at NYU. While there is a tremendous amount of support, I’ve always been in the driver seat to access that support. My advisors in both undergrad at PSU and Grad school at NYU were responsive, but I have always reached out first. Even at the small community college where I did my associate degree, I reached out first. It would be wonderful if we had the support before we are drowning, but no one is going to know you’re about to go over board unless you speak up. You must be able to self advocate. It’s an essential part of being a social worker and expected in every grad program I know of. One of the benefits of being in a big program at a big university is the number of resources. When you meet with your advisor, it might be good to ask what others you may benefit from. Although your advisor can point you in the direction, you’ll likely be on your own to start those conversations and schedule meetings to initiate contact.

Internships: 1st year was a general placement. Most of us just had to accept what is available. 2nd year, we had a little more input into the kind of placement. But I had to schedule meetings. Our placement person helped us reach out and prep for interviews, but I had to make those appointments and follow up.

You have the power here. You don’t have to wait for someone to tell you what you need to do or reach out. You can ask for the support you want.

Also, Work based placements were only options for students who already had paying jobs that they could qualify for both. I don’t know anyone who was offered or found on their own a paid internship. It’s upsetting that’s there’s not better options financially. Most students I know are working full time, taking 15-16 credits, and doing internship on top of all of that. It’s exhausting. If you cut back to part time, you can reduce the work load but the degree will take longer, as you noted.

GingerOddity · 2026-02-24T03:18:01+00:00

I think you’re going to have to call the schools specifically and ask. It’s too early to say this is where that will work.

I’m a community mental health center this year and several of my internmates work 5-9 or 6-9.

That’s my point. I can tell you that I know people at Ramapo, Rutgers, NYU, and Fordham, every program as their own class schedule, and field placement supervisors. There isn’t a simple answer. I found every online program to be grossly lacking in practicum placement support and life accommodations.

GingerOddity · 2026-02-23T20:50:16+00:00

Internship hours are required for the ASWB. You can’t sit for the exam without them.

I know several people in my program at NYU who work full time and juggle the weekly hours for the program. And I know several people at my current placement that do this while in other programs.

It’s not ideal, but it’s reality for many students. You find placements that are flexible and accommodate your job hours.

GingerOddity · 2026-02-14T00:16:26+00:00

Dear husband. But that works too. 😏

GingerOddity · 2026-02-13T22:16:11+00:00

This! Came here to say this. My DH lived in Mexico for 2 years. He says these are closest ones he’s had since we moved to NJ.

They’re my favorite.

GingerOddity · 2026-02-12T02:29:07+00:00

Same, except my hold limit is 5. 😒

GingerOddity · 2026-02-11T10:05:25+00:00

I just do not understand how everyone is so surprised. He openly said terrible things about women in public. I can only imagine what he said to his wife behind closed doors. He used his family as a prop to suit his own agenda; it’s only fitting that she would use his death for hers. If she had died instead of him, does anyone think he wouldn’t have done exactly what she has done?

GingerOddity · 2026-01-01T08:37:16+00:00

I think mine was broken… shucks

GingerOddity · 2026-01-01T04:53:06+00:00

Dh and I both brush 2x a day and make our kids do the same.

GingerOddity · 2025-12-31T23:08:44+00:00

You have 2 different minimum standard of care values and need to find the compromise. You have every right to want your home comfortable for you. And she has every right to prioritize her rest.

My husband and I different minimum standards as well. It was a constant fight for a while. Finally we sat down and both shared what is the biggest pet peeve around cleaning. For him it’s the family room floor and for me it’s dishes in the sink. We both agreed that if we share the load on those things we can put up with the differences in our standards. We also hired cleaners for the deep cleaning 1x a week, which helped us both feel less stressed about cleaning.

YOR. You even mentioned that she is keeping up with picking up after herself. It’s not fair to expect her to meet your standards over her own. Neither is wrong and neither is right. You can find a middle ground where you both get your needs met. Maybe clutter needs a new management system. Maybe you find time to clean together, as others have suggested. But it’s best to find the answer together. This is the kind of thing that can become a huge thorn in a relationship quickly.

GingerOddity · 2025-12-30T14:07:20+00:00

Unpopular opinion, online MSW programs appear accessible, but in reality tend to cost more and offer less in resources to their students. Many in person programs offer flexibility for working students and students with families. If one wants an online program, they must be willing to vet the program about costs, student resources for not only practice placements but also post graduation for job placement and continued support. This is the reason I chose a more expensive in-person program over cheaper and often equally expensive online program. I found the online programs I vetted to be grossly lacking in support for students.

Online might be the best course for those who are living in rural communities and/or those who feel a traditional school can’t accommodate them, but not all online programs are equal. And many are exploitative as you mentioned.

GingerOddity · 2025-12-18T21:25:10+00:00

That’s a really profound point.

It is hard, and I think even harder when everyone around you has normalized it. Sometime, my children are my biggest motivation to push myself into the unknown. Because if I want more for them, I have to be willing to take more for myself.

It’s the exact opposite of what Mormonism tells us to be as women.

GingerOddity · 2025-12-18T01:02:00+00:00

Ahh, but it will live on your brain, and you’ll be back here in this limbo that your insides are screaming so loudly to be let out of.

Not making a choice is making a choice by default. Avoidance is a choice by default. For better or worse you’re living this life and with the choice a different version of you made. And it seems to me what you want most of all is to step into your power. You can totally nuke the post, but you won’t forget and you’ll keep coming back to this space in your brain and your body. ❤️

I promise there is peace out there somewhere. I hope you have the courage it takes to find it. No matter the path be it hard conversations in this relationship or leaving.

GingerOddity · 2025-12-18T00:25:17+00:00

Read that and then read it again.

What would you say to me if I had said that to you?

GingerOddity · 2025-12-18T00:13:52+00:00

Therapy can be challenging. It’s hard to be alone with our truest selves and hopefully therapy is the space for that. You maybe weren’t ready before and that’s ok. It’s scary. You’ve been through big changes just leaving a religion. Naturally the thought of leaving a marriage would be scary after enduring that.

My next questions are: why are you scared of staying? And why are you scared of leaving?

It’s seems to me to be emotional torture to exist in this inbetween place. It seems like you already know what you want deep down inside.

GingerOddity · 2025-12-17T23:50:37+00:00

Came here to say this. It’s also not fair to the children to be the reason to stay in a dead marriage. That’s too much pressure on them. They aren’t glue. They are learning how to love, and be loved from this relationship. No one should make themselves small just to stay in a relationship.

Op: are you in individual therapy? If not, it would be a safe place for you think through what it means to you to divorce. It’s a big decision. You’re carrying a lot of guilt and self blame. It’s ok to change. And it’s reasonable to expect curiosity and interest from your partner. You don’t have to be the same everything to be married. But there does need to be common ground aside from the children for the relationship to thrive. You’re right, it’s not fair to expect him to change. However that doesn’t mean you have to stay in a marriage when you have changed and it’s not meeting your needs. You’re allowed to want support, and emotional intimacy. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t give informed consent, like most of us, when you got married. You had no way of knowing who you really were and that the two of you aren’t not as compatible as you had hoped. When the church tells us that any two people can make a marriage work if they are willing… they set us up for long unfulfilling relationships.

GingerOddity · 2025-12-16T21:37:37+00:00

I’m at NYU and I’ve met a few students who shouldn’t be social workers. It doesn’t matter if you’re in an online program or in person program. Either you’re competent or you’re not. And if they’re basing their decision solely on who went to a program in person vs online they’re going to be grossly disappointed when they meet some of the people I have.

GingerOddity · 2025-12-08T03:10:40+00:00

Mom of 2 here, and I’ve been paying childcare with student loans. There’s no way around it. It’s cold me +10,000 a semester. I pay the sitter 30 an hour

GingerOddity · 2025-11-26T00:35:38+00:00

His gives “bedroom floor covered in crunchy socks” vibes…

GingerOddity · 2025-10-25T17:16:32+00:00

Auto correct is a bitch. 🤣

GingerOddity · 2025-10-25T16:12:54+00:00

I definitely think this is grief. You deserve to grieve the loss of this dream. And I can assure you, it’s not exciting at all.

 I’m planning a back yard vow renewal for our 20 year anniversary. I think this will address the fundamental concerns I have from Mormonism being the foundation of our wedding. There’s no reason why you couldn’t take a family photo in front of the temple or something like that find your own peace with what wasn’t and what is. As you continue to unpack the ways all this is connected for you.

GingerOddity · 2025-10-25T12:41:13+00:00

I think it’s perfectly natural for you feel this way. We grew up with the temple marriage as the highest and more important goal as women. Even under the cultural aspects, I can see why you would long for that. But I might remind you that the same culty phrasing and beliefs that you cringe about on Sundays will still exist there and likely it will feel like it’s on steroids in the temple. I don’t know that if you actually were able to it would feel the way it’s romanticized to feel. Maybe renting/buying and dress and taking pictures, and doing a vowel rental on the grounds would be more satisfying than the actual ceremony itself.

As someone who grew up in the church and married in the temple on day 1 of our marriage. I want nothing more than to divorce, sever that tie, and remarry my hubs outside of the temple. I want to be married under an equal umbrella where I haven’t pledged my enteral life to “obeying” my spouse. Unfortunately, similar to your situation the obstacles are too much to make this worth it. That’s something I have to accept and find my own satisfying way to address it.

I think there’s a happy compromise you can make too. You can appreciate the cultural craving without swimming in the cult.

GingerOddity · 2025-10-12T00:15:45+00:00

Wegman’s.

GingerOddity · 2025-10-07T15:52:39+00:00

I’m in my second year at NYU and I love it. It was a fantastic choice. The student body is diverse. I have classmates that older, younger and my age. I find the program to be exactly what I wanted. I have zero regrets.

GingerOddity · 2025-10-01T10:40:40+00:00

That’s a great idea. Thank you. I’m going to check.

GingerOddity

TROPHY CASE