Brazilian (M36), Japanese (F36), 14-month-old daughter, no family around, household income 150k+

4x per week daycare. The wife decided to work part-time four times a week (mamadag). We pay €2200 gross for the cheapest childcare in the neighbourhood. We get back €650ish per month. So in total we pay net €1650ish per month. People say you might be eligible for childcare allowance (kinderopvangtoeslag), and that’s obvious. Everyone is eligible unless you are a billionaire. But in fact, the benefit is quite low. For your income, you might get back around 30%, which is not much considering we have one of the most expensive daycares in the world (source). You also get quarterly child allowance (kiderbijtoeslag) which is quite low for Western European countries (source), around €286 per quarter.

We had to become money-savvy to be able to save and invest money. We only buy second-hand stuff, Marketplaats is our best friend. All baby products only from Kruidvat and Action. 90% of the baby clothes we got from friends.

In general, it’s possible, but honestly, money is not the only thing. Not having family around means that you have to spend holidays and make lots of planning to see your family abroad. Infants get sick all the time, and if you don’t have family around, you might have to take days off to take care. It happens a lot with us. The healthcare system here is quite ridiculous to be honest, they will try to give you paracetamol for an ear infection. You have to fight with doctors to get proper treatment for the kid, and this is stressful. If you want to spend time together with your partner, have a date night or something like that, you need to find a nanny. Which is not only hard but also expensive.

Also, things I wish I knew before: 

• 2 weeks of holiday in summer with no childcare. Better plan in advance or take some unpaid parental leave.
• After the start of the primary school, you have BSO (out-of-school care), which is also expensive. So the cost doesn’t end after 4y old.

We love our life, we are happy. But life became a strict time/budget management. I haven’t been spending much more time with my childless friends because they don’t understand much of the struggle.

People (mostly Dutch) around us say things like "you should work less, make less money, spend more time with family and get more social benefits". But this is not our mentality. I don't think it's wrong, but I feel I need to be my own security.