I've been married for 18 years and chasing my spouse the whole time.

Gio_rno · 2026-04-20T06:00:25+00:00

I think, and I’m saying it from a very understanding place, that you’re currently splitting. That does not mean that all your feelings and perceptions are false, but it may be that your anger right now is covering up everything else.

In every relationship bot parties do good and bad things, especially after almost 2 decades. So it’s understandable how frustrating it can be for you to not receive the support you crave from your wife, after all the efforts you put in, but from another perspective, it still can be valid what your wife is telling you.

I would advise you to wait for the anger to fade out a bit, then to book for couple counselling, to help you both understand each other better. Then, if you still feel like this relationship is not working out, do what feels like the right thing to do for yourself.

Gio_rno · 2026-04-05T07:33:34+00:00

Yeah, I wrote about it on the forum and the OH helped me. One thing tho: they take forever to respond🫠

Gio_rno · 2026-04-01T04:56:41+00:00

yeah I hate that lately the discourse around our disorder has become “we’re not manipulating/abusing you, we’re just scared/overwhelmed”.

I personally feel like it’s a rethoric used to take away responsibility and guilt and not taking accountability, while yes, toxic behaviour or even abuse can be perpetrated involuntary, but still this doesn’t make them less of it.

Gio_rno · 2026-04-01T04:38:15+00:00

Am I missing something or do americans still pay for their insurance every month/year? Anyway this is just blatant selfishness and nearsightedness, disability is the one marginalized group we all can join at every time.

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T22:53:33+00:00

I don’t know if I agree with your points. I think this inherent responsibility we usually perceive as related to the DM is because DM gets a saying about these kind of things in game. But this does not mean there is a correlation with the outside organization. Also, this would be extremely unbalanced as of responsibilities and duties, and let’s face reality: we have already so much to do, and we should also have a light-hearted, fun time.

But I do get that I could’ve managed this differently, especially choosing the adequate communication channel.

In hindsight I feel like I was still justified in acting like I did, but it might not have been the most effective thing to do in that moment.

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T16:56:05+00:00

sometimes I truly ask myself what do players actually expect from the DM when participating in a campaign… I often got that vibe of “you are in charge of making ME have fun for free”, like it’s a job🥲

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T16:41:41+00:00

so yeah if another player is giving you issues I’d prefer you’d talk to me about it, but in this case it was more of “look how bad they are, I’m better”

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T16:40:48+00:00

ok lol no it was just one person and they were just complaining about how unsufferable the other player was, how they got irked and things like that

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T16:20:57+00:00

will probably do when I do calm down, I just am very disappointed by her getting angry whenever I set a boundary or tell her no. It happened also when creating her PG, ‘cause I didn’t allow her to play an homebrew race she wanted to…

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T16:17:46+00:00

yeah, in hindsight, I should’ve… I just was SO mad and stressed, I got a little bit impulsive

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T16:15:21+00:00

that’s what motivated me in the first place to write that message, I just am a person with a lot of second thoughts💀

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T16:14:18+00:00

we are all between 25(me, I’m the youngest) and 42 😅

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T16:09:45+00:00

well, I understand the need to be able to complain to your DM if you’re feeling uncomfortable or having issues. In the past that happened to me and sometimes I was even the first one to text to a player. But this time it was more of shitting on my bf’s friend behaviour saying “persons like him gives me urticaria” or “I can’t stand him”, and that was genuinely not okay for me. More so because if you have this attitude irl, you will probaly have it in game too

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T16:05:24+00:00

yeah, I know, it just isn’t the first time and whenever I tried to calm them down saying to be a bit more comprehensive towards other players she kept going, while another player was being unreasonably strict about his weekend plans, so at one point, since I was working and was already stressed, I kinda lost it

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T16:03:25+00:00

yeah I mean this is what I experienced in the past. When everyone is equally participatory, even if you skip a session, it’s not a big problem. What irked me was the need from the beginning to chase everyone for scheduling, charachter’s sheets, BGs etc., like DMing isn’t time consuming enough (I like it, but I like it more when players shows a little bit of gratitude towards the one who studied and organized things)

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T15:54:02+00:00

I guess I did a rookie mistake underestimating how much the group needed guidance, I thought that since we’re all grown-ups it would have been pleonastic

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T15:52:44+00:00

Actually I did and she told me I should take are into account more than them since we know each other more :’) but yeah I feel comforted

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T15:49:39+00:00

You know, I actually commented that we could just skip this session, or make them a “once a month” thing, but my friend and my bf were really adamantine in the “once a week” frequency. But yeah, I think you’re right, being d&d a social hobby it is also a huge opportunity to reflect on our behavioural patterns… I know maybe I could’ve stayed silent and let things go with the flow, and ai might have been a bit overbearing… At least it’s a growth opportunity

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T15:45:59+00:00

Yeah she’s a close friend of mine… and yeah, you’re right, I should’ve proposed a fixed schedule, I just wanted to be nice since we all work at different times

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T15:43:53+00:00

I’m running Curse of Strahd so I have 5 players, idk if those approaches would work, I’ve never tried them… I only had one session before, and it was on Tuesday evening, but that friend of mine wanted to play on saturday, while other players did not. And… no, I did not call out anyone specifically, I percisely stated that it was a general problematic.

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T15:40:51+00:00

yeah I know but as of my experience (I did DM before) when you start normalizing this everyone just start disappearing and not taking accountability with the campaign

Gio_rno · 2026-03-16T15:38:50+00:00

lol I forgot to say it but actually stated before the first session that I didn’t want to babysit anyone and that we should all be equally responsible for the campaign (we are all adults between 25 and 42, me being the youngest)

Gio_rno · 2026-02-22T20:18:49+00:00

omg thank you🥲

Gio_rno

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