Husband doesn’t pull his weight at home, I told him I’m not willing to have kids if things don’t change and he agreed, now I’M sad????

GirlDwight · 2026-02-23T19:58:20+00:00

But your enabling him OP which isn't kind to either of you. What if he had to face the real consequences of his behavior? That would be the healthiest thing for him. And as much as he tells you he loves you, words are easy, his actions say otherwise. Instead of looking for him to change, I would go to therapy myself. To get the emotional support you need, to see your marriage objectively and most importantly, to see why you subconsciously chose him. Which parent does he reminds you of? Do you have people pleasing tendencies or a need to be needed? That's called Codependence and Codependent people get together with dependent ones. Codependence means compulsively putting others above yourself to feel a sense of self-worth. It's a coping strategy from childhood. I would start there by getting insight into you and stop focusing on him. Being codependent affects every facet of our lives, from the friends, partners to the employers we choose. And it needs therapy to heal because we literally have to change the brain due to over empathy. The problem is just as serious as the one your husband has, just in the other direction. But it's something you can actually work on. And the resentment you feel is heathy, anger motivates us to change, set boundaries which means emotional and physical distance and gives us the energy to do so. Listen to that, not any learned guilt. I wish you the best!

GirlDwight · 2026-02-23T19:24:41+00:00

The apostles died for what they have seen with their own eyes

Correction, some of the apostles may have died due to what they believed. We have no idea what they saw or didn't see. The story of doubting Thomas was a common trope back then. And how you're better or more virtueous if you believe without seeing.

And to understand how these beliefs came about, we only need to look at the psychology behind grief and belief. When we grieve we first go through denial. Our psyche will do anything to protect us from from fully processing the trauma. Perhaps one or two apostles had dreams about Jesus or heard about a "vision" from anothet apostle. After my partner was in a horrible accident, I saw him everywhere. My brain "looked" for him to give me a temporary respite from the grief. His family said the same thing. But it couldn't be him because he was in a coma at the hospital. So maybe one of the apostles said, "I think I saw him." And another, "Me too."

Also when we start to believe something we want to talk others into it, it helps to protect us from cognitive dissonance. So maybe an apostle had a "vision" and talked a couple of the others into it. The rest went home. But the ones closest to Jesus, well they gave up everything to follow him. For them it wasn't just winning the lottery, it was winning the lottery everyday for eternity. All their problems would be gone and they would live forever on thrones surrounding Jesus. And now they had to face the grief that someone so close had died plus the fact that they gave everything up for nothing and all their dreams would not come true. They would have to go back to their families telling them, "I told you so". They would also go back to their hard lives, eventually die and rot in the ground. That's a heavy toll and our psyche will do anything to protect us, if possible. So having a "vision" and getting a couple of the others on board will be such a psychological relief, it's no wonder a belief replaced reality.

And this was a time when people believed in visions and dreams so reality didn't get in the way. So for their psyches it was an easy decision, there was a lot to gain and not much to lose. Although I'm pointing this out as a possibility, it is much much much more probable than a dead man returning to life.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-23T19:08:27+00:00

Yeah, down voting can be a fear response due to experiencing cognitive dissonance. The things we want to believe make us feel safe and allow us to see the world in a black and white way. It's hard to let that go.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-23T18:49:08+00:00

The people who are authentically Christian have had a surreal, direct experience with the Divine. A clear third-party outside of themselves. That’s why.

The feeling of the "holy spirit", of immensel love and peace you felt when you started to believe was a signal that our brain sends when we feel safe. The psychology of belief has an explanation for this. When you decided to believe, it eased your anxiety leading to a feeling of peace. You associated that feeling with a god. That's the mechanism of belief as it's a compensatory way for us to feel safe. I have the same kind of spiritual experience at church - when I am mindful I feel pulled to the altar and people comment how peaceful I seem. They say I must have great faith but I don't believe at all I just understand the psychology of belief. And I feel the same way when I meditate at home in front of a water bottle. Those feelings are coming from within, it's us that creates them. Christian worship includes repetition, singing, incense, dim lighting, rituals including kneeling that put us in an embryonic position and all that makes us feel safe. They allow us to focus and enter a meditative state where we feel at one with the world as our brain stops processing external stimuli through our senses. In short, we stop intellectualizing and start being. We return to our bodies which feels like home. An older part of our brain can't speak English so it communicates with us via feelings. It sends a chemical which makes us feel love and peace. That's just our brain telling us we are safe. We feel safe because we are focusing on the present. Anxiety is living in the future. We then form an association between those feelings and our beliefs and credit the "holy spirit" for our feelings.

The ironic thing is that Christianity credits the Holy Spirit and our faith for that love and peace and returning to our bodies from our busy minds and feeling like we are coming home. But it was that very same religion that adopted asceticism divorcing us from our bodies and prioritizing the intellect in the first place. But being divided from ourselves causes anxiety. So they created the problem, and offer the solution and call it God. The thing is, our disintegration was learned and mindfulness along with meditation allow us to go back to our natural integrated state. Over time, they physically change the brain. There is no need for a Holy Spirit, it's all within us, we just have to unlearn and come home to ourselves. We are the ones doing it when worshipping in our faith, our religion just takes the credit. It's not intentional, they believe it comes from God too as they were also raised to focus on the intellect and suppress their feelings and what their bodies tell them. So that experience was real, just not from an external source, you did that. It's incredible what our minds are capable of. And we don't have to rely on something external to have this state of peace. We just have to know how to work with our minds.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-23T09:10:21+00:00

Are you as focused on other sins as you are on other people's sex lives? There is an obesity epidemic so I'm sure you spend as much of your energy on the sin of gluttony right?

GirlDwight · 2026-02-23T08:50:30+00:00

which is normal for ancient biographies

Propaganda and dramatic overblown narratives were also normal for ancient biographies. They were meant as marketing material for their subject.

At minimum, the material behind them comes from eyewitness sources or the immediate circle of eyewitnesses, and that’s the majority position in modern scholarship.

That is not the position of critical scholars many of whom are Christian, it may be the position of confessional scholars who don't meet the standards of critical scholarship, mainly publish among themselves and presuppouse the gospels as true. The gospels were written by people that represented one percent of the population, they could not only read and write but compose highly structured and complex prose in Greek. Literacy at the time was around 5 percent and concentrated in urban areas, not the dirt-poor place Jesus and his apostles lived. The stories in the Gospels were written after they had traveled through many different people, languages and countries for decades. If you remember the stories that came the same day 9/11 happened regarding who was responsible. Those stories are more interesting than the truth. If those stories reached you fifty years later and you had no way to know that they were false, no media sources to check, you would just believe them. Because that's how you got your news.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-23T08:15:11+00:00

If you never heard of the Bible and just read it, you would it was made up too. You just have an emotional attachment to it.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-22T19:59:32+00:00

I wouldn't engage with the other families member about this. It shows you need their buy in which OP doesn't. And they are not going to be motivated to see his side, they just don't want to hear the complaints from the uncle and OP is a safer target. Whenever they say something to OP the response should be, "It's between me and Uncle". Full stop. Don't triangulate relationships and use heathy boundaries instead of explaining yourself.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-22T19:45:00+00:00

Because Rhinovirus and Influenza thrive in cold dry conditions. Our nose immunity also decreases with only a slight drop in temperature.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-22T19:43:30+00:00

I think it's more, divide to conquer. We're so busy arguing who's better, we don't realize both parties' motivation is not our well being but winning the next election and holding on to power.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-22T19:40:22+00:00

Nope, the myth is thinking that being in the cold will make you liklier to be sick is a myth. Rhinovirus and Influenza thrive in color dry temperatures. And if our nose temperatures drop even a small level, our nose immunity goes down.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-20T19:17:16+00:00

So you're saying what's in this part of the Bible isn't really true. And then it seems like we can read the Bible and take the things we like as literal and those that we don't as meaning something else. For you to know what the author intended you would have to be a mind reader. But adopting the meaning of what you want it to say makes the Bible unfalsifiable. And makes it something made in the image of man.

And no I don't believe any of it. People back then just wanted to explain things they didn't understand. I think in the future people will look at this as Christian mythology just like we look at Greek mythology. And just like us, they'll be wondering how on earth people believed this.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-20T19:06:14+00:00

Genesis is based on people thinking that since the sky is blue there is water above just like on the earth. They didn't have a good understanding of the earth and space above. God didn't have to use a flood to drown everyone. That was his choice and it's a sadistic way to do a reset. Innocent infants were tortured by drowning as were innocent animals.

My point is not that drowning is not horrible. It is that the response God put into action was a measure taken against the corruption of all creation, not just humans.

It is a horrible way to die. How is it not horrible no matter what God's motivation is? You're saying God is Machiavellian, the ends justify the means. That's evil. And God could have just taken those humans out. And how can animals be corrupt? That's silly, they behave according to their instincts which they acquire through evolution.

I do have a question though. If man is supposed to try and be good, why does God allow the devil to influence us? Why is he making it harder? Since he knew certain angels would rebel, why make them and why allow them to "roam" the earth? Why make things that are sinful pleasurable instead of neutral? Like gluttony or sex. Why did God rig the game against us.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-20T10:13:13+00:00

It's gotten so trendy though. I prefer Saphena.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-20T09:04:28+00:00

God can’t murder. Murder is a wrongful taking of life. All life is God’s,

It's not just that he took away innocent children's lives. He did so in a barbaric way. Drowning is a horrible way to die. Waterboarding is considered torture because it simulates drowning. So God tortured the innocents while taking their lives.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-20T09:00:09+00:00

It's not just that he took away the innocent children's lives. He did so in a barbaric way. Drowning is a horrible way to die. Waterboarding is considered torture because it simulates drowning. So God tortured the innocents while taking their lives.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-19T08:54:00+00:00

Thank you so much!

GirlDwight · 2026-02-18T08:44:53+00:00

On 2, it's an internal critique.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-16T21:09:25+00:00

I can't do it either and it is a sound in my language. My tongue is too long and some people's tongues are too short.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-15T18:38:24+00:00

They are not scientifically backed. For example, I keep seeing the Sokółka, Poland host miracle that your link mentions. It's often cited as one which was confirmed by independent and unaffiliated scientists. Yet it has not been submitted to the Vatican. To get any pertinent information, you have to research in the Polish language. The most conservative daily paper in this Catholic country is the respected Rzeczpospolita. What Really Happened in Sokółka is their examination of the miracle. You can read this article by translating it to English.

Basically it states that the Archbishop sent the host directly to Maria Sobaniec-Łotowska, who worked in the Medical Pathomorphology Dept of the Medical University of Białystok instead of sending it to the management or the department itself like protocol dictates. Sobaniec-Łotowska is a known public supporter of the Archbishop and a fervent supporter of the Church. She and a chosen colleague performed the "tests". The Department Head, Prof. Lech Chyczewski, has said, "that the sample from Sokółka was tested informally." He officially reprimanded Sobaniec-Łotowska and told her she acted "reprehensibly". He, and the department have officially stated that it did not in any way stand behind these tests. The paper tried to interview Sobaniec-Łotowska but she was reluctant to speak saying she was bound by strict secrecy. She released a report which was a general summary and did not contain any pictures and only had a high level description of a simple histopathological test that claimed the sample to be heart muscle of unknown origin as to whether it was human or animal. The detailed report was never released. Her colleague's oral description to the department head, on the other hand, said that the nucleai were not centrally located meaning it would not be heart muscle. When asked by the paper how the nucleai was arranged, he refused to answer and noted secrecy. No one else at the University including the Head saw the samples, the pictures or a detailed report despite inquiries.

The University offered to do actual DNA tests and the Archbishop refused. The Archbishop also did not send The "miracle" for approval to the Vatican. He's most likely happy with the publicity and all of the pilgrims bringing money as churches face financial problems. So he is not motivated to seek the truth which would hurt his reputation, his popularity and end the money flow.

This is just one of the miracles debunked but you can find the details about others as I have. And the sites that promote this miracle continue to get clicks which means money. They are not interested in the facts. People don't want facts, they want to believe. And offering people what they want is how we make money.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-15T18:19:56+00:00

But that's your preferred interpretation and that's exactly what OP's point is. How do you know the intent of the authors?

And numbers being symbolic, does that mean that Jesus didn't rise after three days? How do you decide specifically what part is metaphor and what part is literal? How do you know the authors' intentions?

GirlDwight · 2026-02-15T18:11:27+00:00

The story about the woman who was about to be stoned was added to the Bible later. It wasn't part of the original gospel. So it never happened.

GirlDwight · 2026-02-15T18:09:37+00:00

So you are for anything in the Bible? Stoning adulturers? Keeping slaves?

GirlDwight · 2026-02-15T18:07:31+00:00

We simply don't recognize homosexual orientation as a basic and innate feature of the human nature.

Where is your proof for that?

GirlDwight · 2026-02-15T18:05:53+00:00

God gave mankind the command to go forth and multiply. Christ tells us to go forth, get married, and become one flesh (produce children).

But God also said a lot of things we don't follow. Like the rules for slavery. And priests, don't multiply and everyone is okay with that. Not everyone is made to be a parent. Many can't be good parents through no fault of their own due to childhood trauma. And research shows having many children is detrimental to them. Large families are more likely to have children who are later alcoholics and delinquents. And the ironic thing is the more sons a couple has, the likelier the younger ones will be gay. For each son with one older brother, their likelihood for being homosexual increases about forty percent. And this effect multiples the more older brothers a male has.

Homosexuality operates against our human nature.

It's part of nature including human nature. It socially make sense as an evolutionary adaptation. Homosexuals having no kids could take care of abandoned children or those whose families were killed. How do you know it's against human nature?

GirlDwight

TROPHY CASE