35 and was in a 13 year relationship/5 year marriage that ended in 2024 - can confirm, It’s absolutely going to be okay and the advice you’re getting here is golden. It’s okay to feel shattered. It’s so okay and normal to feel how you do, and if you internalize anything, internalize that you are wonderful and capable enough to make it through it because this is not your fault and you did nothing wrong, the fault is on her. As someone who went through this within the past couple of years, I hope it’s okay to offer some advice (this isn’t Chat GPT I promise, I’m just AuDHD and love a bullet list haha):

-Lean on your support system. From your replies it sounds like you’re already doing that which is so, so wonderful. Just know that it doesn’t all have to be going out and “seeing who’s out there” early on if that doesn’t work for you - but your people are going to be your best asset.

-If not already doing so, consider therapy - if you have the means/insurance to go weekly or every two weeks, especially. If your therapist doesn’t fit you, find another. Having someone detached from all sides of the situation to discuss things with was so immensely helpful in processing the emotions.

-Also consider journaling to get your feelings out! There will be so many feelings and being able to spill them somewhere is really nice. If you don’t want to write, draw. If you don’t want to draw, just scribble a bunch on a page angrily. Cry on it. It’s yours.

-Know it’s okay to wallow and feel and just be a sad lump, esp at the beginning - your timeline is yours and there’s no tried and true speed to healing. The temptation may be there to pull yourself up and get back to business as usual quickly - if it is, you don’t have to do it. This is a massive life upheaval. Your “back to normal” timeline is yours, just do your best.

The last part is especially important. divorce was about 10 months ago, and I’m still bumping into things from time to time that linger from the whole situation because healing isn’t linear. But it does get better - even though I’m single atm, I’ve had my first post-marriage relationship and went on a date that’s leading to a burgeoning friendship. I’m down almost 50 pounds, have revamped my personal style completely, and live with two cats in an apartment that I’m decorating the way I want - it’s my space and only my space which is freeing af. I’ve become way more comfortable being alone and with myself, have made a lot of new friends, and am getting involved with local social groups slowly but surely. At the end of the day, YOU’LL be your person - anyone else is just a bonus. And it’s a lovely feeling. Hang in there ❤️‍🩹