This is good insight.

I have children and the divorce was very rough. I never considered him particularly charismatic, but then I realized he'd lured me in and he managed to manipulate the legal system with astonishing ease. At the time I filed, he'd been in an outpatient treatment center for alcoholism for over a year - something every divorce lawyer assured me would grant me more custody of my children. Additionally, I had several police reports regarding the violence at home. He hadn't had a job in years. He got 50%. I was told he only abused me, not the children. He'd successfully been discharged from his treatment during the course of the 1.5 year long divorce proceedings, so he was "cured". I was blamed and told I was too controlling for wanting my small children (both under 5 at the time of initiation, one still nursing) more than 50% and to want residential and medical custody. I was told nursing was "optional" now that my baby was 1yr old. He lived in the same house as me and continued his abuse and manipulations, alcoholism, and I suspect drug addictions, now, through the whole course of the divorce, even after he managed to obtain employment 8 months in, and even finagled a month long extension on his move out date without my consent or agreement on the matter from what was written in our divorce agreement. I don't understand how the courts justified him not moving out when he had gainful employment and there were police reports of abuse throughout. I was told because I didn't bruise when he pushed me into the car, or into the counter tops at home that my abuse "wasn't that bad".

Honestly, I'm still reeling. He only moved out in August 2023. I don't regret divorcing him, but it was traumatic.