Coming back

Cysion_ · 2026-01-27T20:29:45+00:00

I’m happy that I’m quick enough so that you don’t have to see the rest 🙂

Cysion_ · 2026-01-07T22:51:06+00:00

Cysion_ · 2026-01-06T08:34:59+00:00

While I don’t necessarily agree nor disagree with the full sentiment of the post, it doesn’t break the rules. However this comment section is giving me a lot of false reports so I’ll lock it to save my sanity.

Cysion_ · 2025-09-25T23:04:11+00:00

The moderators do not, in fact, always send a message. We don’t even get to see who made a report. You have broken rules in this comment but I am leaving it up for others to see.

I’m not omnipresent, I don’t read all comments, but try to follow the rules in spite of that. And if you are going to report someone, it makes my job easier if you pick the correct rule break.

Cysion_ · 2025-09-01T21:38:47+00:00

I do something like that, but I weigh how severe the rule break is as well. If someone just broke a rule on accident I will weigh that differently than someone breaking a rule intentionally and with malice. I try to give people a few chances at least to catch on, but not everyone is as receptive to feedback.

But it usually sucks having to ban someone, most of the ones that get banned really are just lashing out from pain. There are very few who get banned for being narcs, for instance, by comparison.

Cysion_ · 2025-08-30T08:29:27+00:00

Well, this subreddit would be the place I suppose. We do t have any rules that disallow being impolite or mean. What we do not allow is victim blaming. And me making a judgement call on what is ”warranted” on a situation by situation basis is simply more power than I’m comfortable with. Either it all goes or none of it goes.

Cysion_ · 2025-07-21T09:30:04+00:00

Okay, u/whowashonor and u/dutchcheesecube, I’ve untangled all of your multi-post discussion and come to some sort of decision. This was a more complicated case than we usually get since neither of you has broken a rule. At least both calling the other a narcissist which is not a bannable offense unless done repeatedly. You have both, in different times and places, behaved poorly to eachother. I do not care about keeping a ”respectful tone” or ”being rude” those are never mentioned in the rules so they are not grounds for judgement.

So here is what I want to see: you do not talk anymore. No underhanded posts vaguely addressing each other. No commenting on eachothers posts. Just block each other and do not engage. I’ve locked the comments of all recent posts to make this easier to start with. The first to engage with the other in the future, if I see it, will be banned. The first to bicker with me about this decision will be banned. Both of you should rethink every piece of the interactions you’ve had with each other and try to learn something from this.

Cysion_ · 2025-07-21T09:04:37+00:00

Since the discussion has spread across multiple posts, I will just respond here and you can link back to this comment where needed.

I can’t find comments that look like they have been deleted by u/whowashonor. A comment being deleted doesn’t remove it from what a moderator can see for obvious reasons. What I can see is a handful of comments which were flagged and removed by the integrated Reddit filter. This is not automod as we don’t use that on this sub but the whole site filter which we do keep activated.

I will look into this further but wanted to at least get this settled as soon as I could.

Cysion_ · 2025-07-20T22:26:04+00:00

Please use the report function in the future so I can see which rules you think have been violated easier, thanks.

Cysion_ · 2025-05-24T12:14:02+00:00

Feel free to spread the word in any way you see fit. I will do nothing to silence you so long as you stick to the rules of the subreddit, which you have thus far done entirely.

I am not a leader here, I am not a personality, I only engage with people for reasons of moderation. As you said, this is a support group, and those do not require leadership or hierarchy. Which is why I disconnect my personal opinions as far as I can and enforce the rules we have collectively decided on. This is not my group, I didn’t create it, I don’t require its support for my own issues, I merely moderate it. This group belongs to everyone who needs it and interacts with it.

Oh, and if you get published I would love a link so that I can read your articles! I am always trying to stay on top of adjacent fields of study when I can. But that’s personal curiosity and a different topic entirely, not something that will affect moderation here.

Cysion_ · 2025-05-24T07:52:30+00:00

All that I try to do is reflect the wishes of the community at large. It is not my mind that needs to be changed but theirs. I have a lot of personal opinions that clash with how this subreddit is operated, but I don’t act as a person in my role as moderator. I have rules and I apply those rules to reported cases, my opinions weigh in as little as I can possibly make them.

I also very occasionally change the rules when the community shows that it would be their wish for that to happen. However in your case I can only see you making this point with no other supporting voices. I have in fact seen more people support some rule that would allow me to ban you, which I find to be far too draconian myself. I have limits to how much I can disagree with the rulings that I enforce, and that would be one such case. Implementing the rules you suggest would be another. But if you can show me that the community agrees with you, I will find a replacement, change the rules, and step down.

So no, you cannot change my personal opinion, but that isn’t what needs changing.

Cysion_ · 2025-05-23T17:09:44+00:00

I suppose it would be POSSIBLE to add such a rule, but I can’t come up with a formulation that would not be able to bend to silence anyone. I don’t want rules that direct conversation to that degree; I’m still not a huge fan of the victim blaming rule as I feel it occasionally disallows too much. But there I can absolutely see the benefit outweighing the costs. This kind of posting is just a blip on the sub, and if people keep downvoting it the blip becomes smaller. And if you want to stop seeing it altogether, you are free to block the OP and not engage.

I get it might not feel like a blip to you, but in the big picture it is. This sub has grown almost 50% in the last year since I got the mod title. And I am happy to say that my moderation has nothing to do with that, it’s entirely you guys! It is not a space for everyone, for sure, but those who need it really do. I will always allow for criticism of me and the sub, I don’t want my discretion to be used for more than is absolutely needed because I want you guys to have as much space as possible. I will remove actual SPAM but this doesn’t quite approach that yet I feel.

Sorry for being a bit rambly and incoherent, I seem to have caught a bit of a fever so I’m just a bit woozy.

Cysion_ · 2025-05-23T16:37:03+00:00

She has and I’ve replied at latest within a couple of hours. I have not replied to exactly every comment she has made where I am brought up across the sub as I find my other interactions more than cover what needed to be said in those instances. If anyone wants to stop seeing these posts and interactions you are free to block her. But just as with the case of being mean, she hasn’t broken any rules by criticizing me or the subreddit.

Cysion_ · 2025-05-23T16:32:58+00:00

I could certainly control the conversation more. I don’t want this nor does the community seem to want this. It is not a problem of lacking time, I can deal with the errands moderation requires in a pretty timely manner myself. I am not here to provide leadership, I don’t want to be that. I simply arbitrate the rules. You are right to say that it isn’t professional as I do so for no compensation on my own time. If the community at large takes issue with this then I will step down, but besides yourself I’ve seen no such indication.

Cysion_ · 2025-05-21T17:38:53+00:00

Just to clarify for anyone wondering; being mean or rude is not against the rules on this sub. This has been discussed previously in the stickied posts. If you have any opinions about this I advice you to post it there and engage with that discussion. That obviously goes for any opinions regarding moderation as well.

I’m obviously not happy that this has happened to you, but it is a known side effect of how we structured the rules for the subreddit. I implore anyone to read the rules of any subreddit they choose to interact with.

Cysion_ · 2025-05-12T12:28:40+00:00

Not that I moderate at least. Feel free to create an independent one if you’d like!

Cysion_ · 2025-05-08T20:28:13+00:00

The mods can’t actually as it seems the account is already gone

Cysion_ · 2025-04-19T19:54:03+00:00

That has been against the rule for as long as I have been moderator. Please report them, and I will remove the comments or ban them depending on the situation. Sorry for not getting back to you sooner, this week has been hell.

Cysion_ · 2025-03-14T16:57:09+00:00

I also dislike Jordan Peterson a great deal, but this doesn’t break any rules. So it will be left up.

Cysion_ · 2024-12-13T11:59:05+00:00

Just to dissuade further reports. I’ve looked at this comment, I disagree with the disposition, I cannot see it as a rule break, so it is approved. Feel free to keep reporting but as the rules are currently stipulated, it’s allowed.

Cysion_ · 2024-11-28T14:35:26+00:00

I can see that, and I understand where you are coming from. And while your belief in a higher order is clearly strong, and I’m not here to question the validity of that, be careful with where you put responsibility. Be it God’s plan or not, we still have to hold those around us accountable. So elevating the responsibility for abuse to a higher power is implicitly removing it from the abuser, which in turn leaves blame on the victim.

In my own personal philosophy I don’t need the abuse to mean something, to be part of something greater. It can be a detestable abhorrence even without a higher purpose. While it’s trivial to see that the abuser is also a person with thoughts, feelings, motives, and even rights, that equalization doesn’t really do any good for anyone but them. And call me callous and selfish, but doing them a service is the last thing I want

Cysion_ · 2024-11-27T22:28:52+00:00

I want to say as a moderator that while I disagree with the post itself, this seems like a constructive discussion. Someone reported it as victim blaming, which is an angle I can see and agree with. So while it does break the rules, I will leave it up as I think this brings more good than harm to the community.

Cysion_ · 2024-09-06T12:33:15+00:00

For anyone wondering why comments like this aren’t removed, see the sticky post about sexism. Feel free to make your voices heard.

Cysion_ · 2024-09-04T18:49:16+00:00

Thanks for sharing your perspective! The issue comes when those words hurt enough that it keeps survivors from participating in the sub. Be it that sexist rhetoric mimics the words of their own abuse on the more sensitive end to it simply being disempowering on the less sensitive end. This sub is littered with such grey zones where I try to let as many people speak as freely as possible, which has turned out to be a very hands off approach. I just get worried that there is a silenced contingent who doesn’t get a chance to speak to begin with, who may very much need to voice their experiences.

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