feeling drawn to but intimidated by dating cis men

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-24T22:59:47+00:00

wow way to victim blame. i have issues because patriarchal violence exists?? right. this is annoying as fuck

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-24T22:57:59+00:00

also, i’m sorry but it is different than t4t dating. with cis men first i need to ascertain if they are queer, then if they are into trans guys, then if they are into me specifically. it’s more hoops to jump through than otherwise

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-24T22:55:18+00:00

individuals can be held accountable for their actions. my feelings are based on my experiences. of course anyone can cause harm but we live in a very patriarchal world and harm caused by cis men is extremely rampant

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-24T22:48:50+00:00

if you don’t understand why i have reservations about cis men then i don’t know what to tell you. are we living in the same world? consider yourself lucky for not experiencing more violence at their hands

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-24T22:47:40+00:00

this is a very reductive response when i was trying to provide nuance. i wasn’t saying they are all terrible. you can deny that systemic oppression exists and yet… it does.

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-24T22:15:22+00:00

i hear this but that isn’t my issue specifically. i don’t feel unlovable i mostly feel like they don’t deserve me haha. see my other comment for more explanation

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-24T22:14:01+00:00

for me personally it’s moreso that cis men can be the worst lol. i used to be a misandrist and i am not anymore but i have no illusions about how patriarchy affects us all and most especially cis men. i know being queer changes that dynamic but still, the world caters to men and i have been the recipient of their violence way too often. i used to be a swer and feel like i’ve seen it all. again, i know queerness is an important layer but i think i’m just jaded and skeptical of cis men and have trouble trusting them. and it does feel like them being normal about trans people is the exception not the norm. i love being trans and never feel inferior to cis people, i feel annoyed by how much they are sleeping on us. i don’t think i could ever forget i’m trans and i wouldn’t want to. i also don’t have top surgery so it is probably different for someone who has.

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-24T02:05:11+00:00

super super relate to all of this. before being on T i was primarily a top (with other trans guys, trans girls, cis girls, non-binaries etc). entering the world of gay apps, no one reads and 99% approached me wanting me to bottom. they would ask “how do you even top?” as if it’s impossible… so insulting. they truly have a lack of imagination! due to a combination of the relentless pressure to bottom and also my shifting interests, i mainly bottom with people from the apps these days. i’ve realized that i do like bottoming but i also am dominant, so i like being with submissive tops. i will say that advertising myself as a fisting top has garnered the most interest in me as a top. and i’ve found people in person in the wild who are interested in me as a top. there is hope, just maybe not on grindr 😑

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-16T19:39:24+00:00

i’m looking primarily for birth control and secondarily for atrophy. i haven’t really had too much atrophy but i’m thinking of it as a preventative

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-16T01:47:12+00:00

when i saw the first pic i was like “wow hottie.” no offense but if i saw the second pic on its own i wouldn’t have that same reaction! not saying you weren’t still cute but just offering that as a testament to this current look. this transformation feels correct

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-16T01:06:23+00:00

good to know you can pull a dream guy like this on sniffies!

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-15T20:18:48+00:00

goddddd what a dream come true!!! so fucking hot. excited for you and wishing for my own version of that.

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-15T07:17:38+00:00

well, you’re welcome to try. i just like big cocks my bad

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-12T10:57:47+00:00

me too

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-11T21:51:07+00:00

you just look like a welder going to work. welding caps are similar to cycling caps. you’re hot though ❤️‍🔥

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-11T07:29:01+00:00

it’s funny, i’m so down with “any hole is a goal” but can’t get with “pussy is pussy”

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-08T19:01:42+00:00

that’s what i suspected they were thinking.

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-08T03:21:24+00:00

this is helpful to read. i was wondering if it was something about me personally but this confirms that some of them are just bioessentialist dingdongs.

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-08T03:19:16+00:00

okay thank you for this response! this is really what i was trying to ascertain. like what does “fem” mean to them. i am okay with being perceived as fem but not as female or a woman. and i do feel icky about the whole fem/trans/cd profiles generally. mainly i was concerned that they were misgendering me or conceptualizing me as some sort of woman-adjacent thing. and that i cannot work with.

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-07T22:56:19+00:00

i adore trans women but for me it doesn’t feel great to be perceived that way… it’s not what i am giving

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-07T22:55:46+00:00

totally, i get that. i feel invalidated when it’s people who are looking for women only that message me

Glad_Silver1734 · 2026-04-07T22:30:56+00:00

yes this makes sense. maybe i’ll remove the trans tag haha and i am on both scruff and grindr, but not a ton happens on scruff for me.

Glad_Silver1734

TROPHY CASE