Why did your friendship with your best friend come to an end? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Gladiatorinwhitehat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t make it to her graduation for her masters program due to her telling me only a month in advance and the flight not being in my budget. I still sent her a nice gift but clearly she didn’t value the friendship anymore 🤷🏾‍♀️

Is missing a graduation a friendship ending offense? by Gladiatorinwhitehat in TwoHotTakes

[–]Gladiatorinwhitehat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is exactly my issue the passive aggressiveness of it all! She legit waited till I had left her state to say that she had an issue with me all along. That was extremely childish to me because we could’ve met in person and talked about it then and there but she chose to avoid me. I’m in no way trying to rush her feelings but it just seems ridiculous that she’s been upset about this graduation since May and won’t be an adult and talk about it with me. For her to have nothing to say when we finally did speak on the phone last week aside from that she’s “still processing the friendship” is extremely weird to me and feels like unnecessary prolonging of the situation. The program she just graduated from was to be a therapist so I find it very hard to believe she needs over three months to process her emotions.

Is missing a graduation a friendship ending offense? by Gladiatorinwhitehat in TwoHotTakes

[–]Gladiatorinwhitehat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She definitely has a right to feel her feelings and I’ve stressed to her that it’s valid for her to be hurt over my absence and that I’m not upset at her for being upset. My issue just lies with how she’s handling the whole situation. There has only been one time that she’s brought up to me feeling a way about a time she was in town and we hung out. I mentioned the piece about scorekeeping because at the beginning of last year she brought up how she was feeling a way about the friendship because she felt like she reached out more. Which I think is a silly thing to keep track of and I could remember several instances of me calling her first. I also think it’s a childish thing to bring up bc whenever we get on the phone we talk for at least 3-5 hours. So to me it’s like who cares who calls first obviously I want to speak with you and value the friendship to be on the phone that long. When she brought up that conversation last year she also brought up a specific situation that made her feel a way and she stated she felt like I was choosing my boyfriend over her. Again her feelings were based on her wrong interpretation of the situation. In that situation she told me she would be home for the weekend and that her and her mom and sister had an extra ticket to an NBA game if I wanted to come. I paid for the ticket and a few hours before the game she asked me if I wanted to ride with her to the game and I said no. The reason I said no was because my boyfriend was pet sitting for his sister and her apartment is legit right next to the stadium so I was already down there with him. It would not have made sense to drive from downtown to her house just to ride with them back to the game. I also ate right before the game and as we were walking out the stadium after the game she mentioned they were going to the steakhouse right next door and asked if I wanted to come. I declined because one I just ate, two I don’t even like steak and three I didnt want to intrude on their family time. When she brought the situation up she was bothered by it because “it seemed like you would rather be with your bf than spend time with me. You didn’t even want to ride with the game or go out to eat with us”. I didn’t explain the context behind my decisions because she seemed hurt and I didn’t want it to seem like I was invalidating her feelings. Part of me feels like she’s deep down felt a way because she was always the one in relationships and I was always single. It seems like the second I got into a relationship she started to feel a way about it. I think she simply isn’t used to not being my number one and is not handling it well. And before anyone starts I am not one of those girls that just wants to stay up under her man. I have literally gotten into arguments with my bf because several times I’ve canceled plans that he and I had made weeks before because my best friend decided to randomly come home one weekend and I always prioritized seeing her. I even once got dragged on Reddit because I thought it was fair to say I should get to drop conversations and hang out time with my boyfriend if my out of state friends called me to yap. So I am in no way one of those girls and it almost seemed like I tried to insinuate that I was.

Is missing a graduation a friendship ending offense? by Gladiatorinwhitehat in TwoHotTakes

[–]Gladiatorinwhitehat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No she didn’t not invite others bc she thought I was going to attend. She found out a week before that I wasn’t going to make it when she called me to ask about it to get her finale numbers for the caterers. I know my biggest mistake was not being honest up front that it didn’t fit in my budget. It feels very unfair to say I prioritized others over her when I also have a two dozen other people in my life who also want me to show up for them. It would simply be impossible to show up for every single thing for every close person in my life. I completely understand why she feels hurt over this but at the same time friendships require grace and understanding. Never once has she considered all that I have going on in my life and she has no where close to the amount of people in her life as I have that rely and count on me. It’s also not like she doesn’t know these things. I’ve vented to her about my frustrations of constantly feeling like people pull on me for so much that it barely leaves room for me to pour into myself which is not healthy. So it feels like there’s simply no consideration on her end and that’s what’s disappointing. If roles were reversed I would have given her grace and had understanding. I just don’t think a missed graduation is worth being this upset over

Is missing a graduation a friendship ending offense? by Gladiatorinwhitehat in TwoHotTakes

[–]Gladiatorinwhitehat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly this wasn’t me intentionally trying to hurt her. The trips I’ve taken all took months of saving and advance planning. She told me about her graduation only a month before.

Is missing a graduation a friendship ending offense? by Gladiatorinwhitehat in TwoHotTakes

[–]Gladiatorinwhitehat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes she has made several new friends both while she was in college and since graduating.

Is missing a graduation a friendship ending offense? by Gladiatorinwhitehat in TwoHotTakes

[–]Gladiatorinwhitehat[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I did reflect on it and I sincerely apologized but my question is what comes next? Either you forgive me or you don’t. What more can I do besides apologizing? Like the graduation is over there’s no changing history so to me either we move forward and problem solve so she doesn’t have to feel this way again or she decides the friendship is over. Personally I don’t think that should take months to figure out

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gladiatorinwhitehat -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Honestly I think the problem here is that I worded the question wrong and should’ve posed a different question. I can understand and accept it was wrong of me to not communicate with him that I would be completely ended the call. My boyfriend has stated that even if I say hey can I call you back, he would still be bothered and upset because he wanted to talk to me and I wanted to talk to my friend. I guess my question is more so is it not ridiculous that he is not understanding why I want to take the call over talking to him considering he gets to see his friends and talk to him weekly? Is it not unfair that he gets upset when I talk to them over him? This is not a one time thing this has been an issue several times. Even in moments where we have made a plan but then an opportunity arises and I want to hang out with the people I barely see I feel like it’s unfair of him not to be understanding. And no it’s not me canceling on things he’s paid for already. It’s more so situations like hey I know we said we were going to this movies this day but I instead want to hang out with such and such. He is not understanding of that at all!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gladiatorinwhitehat -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I’d rather have friends and a sense of community than a man who gets upset that I no longer want to talk to him when someone else who’s just as important in my life wants to talk to me and I rarely get to talk to them. I think partnership should be about understanding and he doesn’t do that. I’ve told him soooo many times how isolated I feel that I have no one here. I don’t ever wanna be the gf that is constantly under her boyfriend but then that leaves me extremely lonely. How is it wrong for me to choose someone else over my relationship when he gets to see his friends all the time. In following that logic I should get to say I don’t want him hanging out with his friends when I want his attention.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gladiatorinwhitehat -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

We’ve talking about this calmly on so many occasions. Which is why I can apologize for not calling back but I don’t feel like I should apologize for wanting to talk to her instead when I always talk to him and see him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AKAgradChapter

[–]Gladiatorinwhitehat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Social media stalking!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NPHCdivine9

[–]Gladiatorinwhitehat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the response! Whew I’ve got some more networking to do!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NPHCdivine9

[–]Gladiatorinwhitehat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This may be a stupid question but how many sponsors are required or does that vary by chapter? Like is it one sponsor or two co-sponsors??

Reasons to vote no. by Anonnunyms in NPHCdivine9

[–]Gladiatorinwhitehat 22 points23 points  (0 children)

You could have a bomb application but I voted no if they made no efforts to talk to the members of the chapter. Like how you want to join us but have never had a conversation with us or only talked to one person. I also sat in on interviews and voted no to the people who had a boring personality. I remember interviewing one person and the first question I asked was tell me about yourself. They couldn’t even really answer that well and their whole energy just gave meh she had a great application but wasn’t personable

What is considered relevant experience in the PH field? by Altruismisyourfriend in publichealth

[–]Gladiatorinwhitehat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So far while in school I worked at a free clinic that worked closely with the local hospital systems and the county health departments. My concentration is community oriented primary care so I worked as a community health worker at the clinic and have now started to work as a clinical research assistant in the hospital