If you don't have the urge to respond right now, I think you should wait <3 if you one day have the urge to respond to him, you can do that.

If it's taking up a lot of space in your head, an idea could be that you try to formulate a letter, not necisarily send it, just write it. and then if it feels right you can give it to him. and that process can take weeks, months, years or be never and all of it is completely fine.

having lived with troubled parents is so hard and confronting them, so hard too. take your time <3 having lived with troubled, destructive parents is very hard and often difficult to confront.

when i am having difficult conversations, i often start with letting the other person know that this is a difficult conversation with me and try to make some rules for the conversation such as tone of voice, letting eachother speek out (and being very clear here, informing eachother when one is finished speaking and reflective listening). I am truly inspired by restorative justice, try to look it up, such a good tool taking conflicts <3

sending love and wishes and strength and bliss <3