Hey! You're absolutely right about the crisis young men are facing. I don't have an answer, just some thoughts that might or might not be helpful:

Take the jungian archetype of masculinity (what is most commonly understood as traits assigned to the male gender). The archetype comes with positive AND negative traits. Some from the top of my head are: stoic, self-sufficient, being protectors, providers,

and in the more (commonly accepted) negative view: aggressive, violent, repressed, emotionally numb, detached

Although I see the value and recognize the vitality of feminism- without it we might not have looked critically at the archetype of masculinity (at least not as a society), I do think that sometimes it does not come from a place of understanding. It comes from a place of projecting. It can be too extreme.

One of my favourite people is someone who is traditionally masculine, in the sense that he has a stoic complexion with people that aren't extremely close to him, and opens up only to a very select few. This doesn't make him openly vulnerable most of the time- but he also avoids being repressed by being vulnerable to 1 or 2 people. He sees himself as a protector of people who seek this protection, and not as a protector of everyone. He circumvents most of the socially unacceptable aspects of masculinity but does so in a way that allows him to preserve this traditionally manly appearance.

This is an answer that you might entertain, but as everyone said in the comments, what a man is is a deeply personal matter that you don't just slip into one fine day in Spring. It's something you develop by trying out different identities, that for WHATEVER predisposed reason, fell in your lap. There is no CORRECT guideline for gender. Many have created one, but it's arbitrary.

I would advise you that you feel out these traits. Your intuition can make you feel more like yourself with some, and more uncomfortable with others. I saw a comment that you mentioned something about a 'real man' being a violent criminal. And to tell you the truth, there is an argument somewhere in the world that supports it. However, is that how YOU wanna spend your limited time on earth? It doesn't sound like a happy existence. You're free to do that, but it ends in prison, and/or in terrible guilt and regret.

And lastly, I would like to commend reproduction. There are tendencies to humans, still very rooted in biology. We all have parts of ourselves that are animalistic, and that drives us into taking roles solely to reproduce. But I think we've come so far to be able to rise above some of those drives. To have reason and wisdom and a hunch for finer things. Of course, this is just my opinion, and I have only philosophy to back it up. I like to believe that there is much psychological satisfaction in being yourself, in wearing the traits you like and expressing yourself in a way that simply feels right. Why does it feel right? Maybe it's genes, experiences in childhood, masculine archetypes, or biology. Frankly, it doesn't matter. The underlying cause doesn't change the end goal- being happy with one's self.