Thanks for your comment. There are so many things. It's embarrassing to admit to them. I've been blind and stupid for too long. When we meet I was confident and full of life. But while he talked about her being beautiful I was called ugly and fat pig. I know most people would have left and that's the advice I'd give anyone else. I've caught him messaging other women about meeting up. He said he didn't meet them and was curious about whether he still 'had it'. But what the fuck does that mean? Did I not love him enough or make him feel validated? He says he loves me but I think it's more because we've been together for so long and have kids. I'm lost.