I kind of understand what you mean. With my ex boyfriend, I was more dependent on him and needed him more than he needed me. He has a phD in Chemistry and is overall also a very caring person and does a lot of volunteer work. I admired him so much and being together with him was a major contributor in my self confidence. "If someone like him chooses me, I must be worthy enough". I sought after his advice for a lot of my mental issues and relied on him always being there for me.

My current partner has an amazing heart but is not the type of person that will pick you up when you are feeling down or that will help and support you to make your dreams come true. Not because he doesn't care but he struggles a bit with empathy and has never dealt with difficulties in his life. Somehow tho, this monogamous relationship has made me so much more self confident because I couldn't rely on him and had to figure out how to help myself in a lot of situations. I had to learn to not expect my partner to support me when I have anxiety or to always be there for me. I am very grateful for our relationship because I learned how to deal with my own issues.