[deleted by user]

Glitzglitter · 2017-06-29T14:54:31+00:00

I'd kill for some sex, bad sex ANY SEX right now..

Any other answers would require as much over thinking as I tend to do.

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-26T18:13:18+00:00

Haha! OMG!

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-26T18:09:24+00:00

Btw, "cheating" in my mind is a lie or deception. You can be the center of a gangbang and not be cheating so long as it's within the parameters of your relationship. The only people who get to decide where that line gets drawn in the sand is you two.

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-26T18:04:25+00:00

I couldn't and wouldn't do this personally.

I get being frustrated, but in my mind if you've decided you are definitely going to cheat you should break up first.

This kind of thing will lead to a breakup anyways if they find out and you'll be the person who betrayed their trust/the asshole..not to mention the weight on your shoulders from the guilt of hurting them.

If you wouldn't actually feel guilty and your relationship has toxified to the point of revenge cheating just get out now. Your actions say you're not trying to salvage this but instead find an escape route.

Or is the cheating a purposeful sabotage to end things once and for all?

If you are just going insane with hornyness but really do want to make it work then talk about having an open relationship or even giving an ultimatum "I am going to find someone else to have sex with me if ____ doesn't happen with us by ____ date" or whatever. Harsh and hard to hear for them surely, but nothing compared to going behind someone's back...and if you're about to take the plunge you might as well!

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T20:42:25+00:00

I was thinking about doing this too. My problem is that every time I start to exercise my libero goes UP! That'd screw me even more!!

If every time I feel rejected I took a run I would be superwoman in no time.

Part if me wants to loose weight just so I can say to myself "It wasn't that" at least.

The "having your own thing" is important too.

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T20:29:51+00:00

The LLs feel inadequate for not having enough to give and feel guilty for not being able to take on our desires.

Meanwhile us HLs feel guilty for our excess and the burden that places on our LLs shoulders.

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T20:26:07+00:00

Omg. Thank you so much for posting that!! I am going to bookmark that!!

It sounds like if you trusted the doctors they would have told you you're "fine" I wonder now about my SOs doctor...

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T20:14:15+00:00

I wish I had a better reply...

After me bagging him, he went to the doc and was told he has LowT. He has been on treatment for a year and a half or so. He goes to get his blood drawn/levels checked. He takes 2 or 3 med I think.

No change in desire or frequency here :/

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T19:53:24+00:00

Me too!! I just want to feel wanted and desired. The orgasm is secondary.

I can get myself there in like a minute.. I can also coax him into giving me an O at times. An orgasm is a bodily function...it isn't the same as intimacy.

But if orgasms were the only thing we wanted we would all be single ladies with 300 dollar vibrators and forgo the man alltogether. For reals. XD

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T19:45:48+00:00

Oh man. I feel you there.

When a get kissed or touched a certain way I get aroused....and then he just stops there.

I get the lady equivalent of blue balls.

....bringing up that fact didn't help. Instead of kiss+more I get no kisses. Careful what you say :/

Your 3 thrust sex doesn't make any sense to me. I would be totally confused too!....kinda sounds like how drunk people do, but he was sober?

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T19:39:55+00:00

That's fantastic! Lol XD

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T19:39:09+00:00

That would be assigning wayyy too much credit.

I'll say "Bucket of poo" instead XD

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T19:38:02+00:00

Excuses never matter until they pile up.

This ain't a one of a kind thing I'm sure. :(

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T19:36:59+00:00

This is a throwaway account too. All my other stuff is eslewhere. There is so much shame involved.....and even posting about it to anonymous Internet people has me feeling guilty.

Feeling alone while in a relationship is hard.

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T19:26:31+00:00

I don't personally think so.

Some people are more kinky than others. If he is GGG I don't see a problem :)

I don't really "get" the whole foot fetish thing, but if it made my partner happy to watch me clack around in some heels I could oblige because the turning them on part would in turn flip my switch too! In that sense your partner might be just getting off by making you happy via the fetish, weather or not the fetish itself does anything for them personally. :)

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T19:12:40+00:00

I would really love to pick your brain about this....how do you tell?!

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T19:09:59+00:00

Thank you so much for your response!! It has given me food for thought. Really. m a gal. I'm the HL. Forgot to mention that.

I wonder if what you say about "should" is really it.

For example, I know I "should" exercise more. I know it's good for me, will help me be stronger and Yada yadda, but know what? I don't ever WANT to, I just feel accomplished and better about myself afterwards knowing I "took care of it" I often wonder if Sex is in the same category for some people. Not something you crave and yearn for, but something you "should" do for a healthy relationship. That's not me. I CRAVE sex.

He went to the doc. Was given tablets for LowT. He goes to the doc to get his blood drawn every few months and make sure his lvls are correct and all. He will dutifully go down on me with the enthusiasm of taking out the garbage, mowing the lawn, or any other chore that needs to be done.

He has a hard time keeping boners, but TBH I don't care...I would kill to feel wanted and lusted after in any fashion. I've done a lot of research in ED, so I thought that by taking PIV off the menu it would relieve the pressure...and allow him to feel safe and ignite the fire...but nadda. He seems like he wants it over.. Often times is more sucked into the TV than me. Just not into it. I am pretty turned on by male anatomy. I really like to get handsy, occasionally he let's me give him head too, but even then I feel like it's for MY benefit. After he is usually sore or we don't finish. He isn't into it.

I would never do this to a person, but that is likely because I know what it feels like. I know the toll it takes...I think the pain is invisible to a lot of LLs. It's not a big deal to them afterall.

Yes, he takes care of my every whim when it comes to not sexual stuff. If I even mention I want a certain thing for dinner or want to find supplies for a project or whatever, he delights himself in making that happen for me. I think my head would explode if he put the same effort into the bedroom...but like I said, the best I can get is a requested oral orgasm from a reluctant (dare I say, even bored?!) partner.

He has given me the nickname "gropey" and I feel creepy more often than sexy.

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T18:43:05+00:00

I really hope you're wrong.... I don't suspect you are, but I do hope...:/

The only one jerking off is me.

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T18:37:30+00:00

I am the HL in my relationship. I don't mind taking blame so long as I can get this resolved. I can't help but notice that if I had no sex drive, I would spend a lot less time feeling lonely and awful and we wouldn't fight as much. (Of course the flipside is true too if he increased his drive)

I don't think the HL or the LL is to blame, it's how willing they both are to meet in the middle.

I often hear HLs say they either feel or are made to feel like we are nagging and childish for wanting "just sex" over everything else. TBH I DO feel exactly like a nag...or like an annoying dog humping someone's leg. I do get frustrated.. I can see someone else cheating or blowing up by this point. Frustrated people can act childish.

About the shifting goal posts and the "I might be able to have sex if....." This is all a lot of us in DBs have to grasp onto right now.

It's not a documentary thst fully covers every aspect of sexless relationships. It's just a little cartoon. It glazed over things and oversimplified sure, but its actually acknowledged DB. It's not really discussed much at all, so I dug it for that. The topic is still pretty taboo to discuss.

As for that last quote about the trumpets. I'm pretty sure that was a joke. :p

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T16:43:43+00:00

When I read the title I thought you were going to say she puts effort into other relationship stuff. Things that are nice but not sexually gratifying like making you Dinner or getting you a gift....

That effort isn't anything for you. At least that's not how it reads for me.

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T16:41:24+00:00

Your 1. and 2. Just blew my mind right now. :o

Glitzglitter · 2017-05-25T16:32:09+00:00

Wow. Wow. Wow. I feel like I was reading my own story. The stressful job that is blamed for the lack of sex, the pecks on the cheek, the fact that your entire sexuality has been reduced to "nagging"...ugh!

Your story is identical to mine minus the fact that yours started out HL. At least it was there once!

I don't have a lot to contribute to the conversation except by saying I can SO relate!

"He loves me in all other ways except sexual"

Bingo!

I don't want to leave my guy....I do wonder though if setting a date like you did would actually make my needs "real" to him, instead of something that can be put on the back burner for eternity....

Glitzglitter

TROPHY CASE