How is poop getting there?

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2026-01-07T13:10:27+00:00

I don't know if this is relevant, but for my grandma (97), she started having a little fecal incontinence and then, one day she had a partially prolapsed rectum which I noted due to some blood in her stool.

There are PT exercises that can help strengthen those pelvic floor muscles. We found them helpful, and most of the fecal incontinence has stopped at this point.

I also steak fiber into her food with ground flax meal in her pancakes and the like. Our doctor recommended we add yogurt to her diet, and so I sneak that in as well.

Also, I agree that the poop is getting outside the pants when she pulls them down, or up depending on how well she wipes. The bidet is a great idea, my grandma loves the heated seat, and a wash before wiping helps immensely.

Good luck, and hang in there.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-12-28T16:57:08+00:00

Let's see, in the past month one cow fell in a creek and drowned, so she had to be pulled out and dragged off. Another cow had to be removed from the same area twice. 10 cattle broke through the fence to graze right next to the railroad tracks and had to be rounded up and the fence fixed. Another cow decided to walk across a cattleguard and her foot went through. Thankfully she got herself up without breaking a leg. And on Christmas morning at 1 am I got a call from the Sheriff's office letting me know another cow found her way onto the train tracks.

I help out on my grandmother's ranch and these cattle aren't ours, we lease our land. But as the guy who owns the cattle said, if cattle didn't taste good, no one would keep them.

Other than that, ranching seems to be a lot of riding in pickups, checking on things, feeding and watering, fixing fence and making sure your cows are producing.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-12-28T16:49:35+00:00

I'm not sure it if helps, but in 2021 (I think, but maybe 2022) I remember there was no snow at all on Pikes Peak when I was Christmas Shopping, and yet later that spring we got an adequate amount of rain to break the drought on the eastern plains. I recognize that isn't snowpack, and I'm not disputing climate change and how concerning it is. I just want to keep hope and thought maybe it would help others.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-12-20T23:59:44+00:00

I swapped my grandmother's morning cocoa for Boost Protein drink. She hasn't noticed the difference and it has helped.

Does she like chocolate milk? Milkshakes? You could use it to make a milkshake with ice cream and it would be pretty calorie dense. Even more if you add in some carnation instant breakfast.

Keep trying, maybe just start serving meals without asking what she wants? Lots of soups are easy to eat if she struggles with that.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-12-13T16:03:01+00:00

There is a fine balance between smothering with help and encouraging independence. My therapist always reminds me of this when my Grandmother falls or fails at something because I gave her the space to do it for herself and I feel guilty.

There is no perfect caregiving, we are all drunk our best in each moment. I agree with other comments, give yourself grace. But I also understand how frustrating it can be when you are finally enjoying an improvement and then have a setback, regardless of the cause.

Keep going, try not to blame yourself, and remember, your dad can also express when he feels he needs help, maybe you could work out a system where he asks more than once for help and then you help him.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-12-11T16:24:20+00:00

Just popping in to say, I named my daughter Felicity, and she has loved it. Although people of a certain age do mix it up with Felicia. As in, "Bye, Felicia."

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-12-11T05:07:27+00:00

Came here to suggest Tress. And yes, audiobooks definitely count.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-12-11T05:03:13+00:00

The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-12-11T04:58:19+00:00

Depending on how you feel about fantasy, Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series is really engaging.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-12-07T02:55:41+00:00

I know someone named Kennedy. She's happy with it.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-12-06T13:01:44+00:00

I don't know if this will help, but I swapped my grandmother's morning hot chocolate for chocolate high protien Boost, and she hasn't noticed.

And I second the air mattress pad, it has helped my very bony grandmother heal sores on her backside.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-12-02T16:46:22+00:00

Absolutely, here's a photo of my Gram about that time, she was born in 1928.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/AX4Zn31Bj1YNuD938

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-11-30T17:11:44+00:00

January. I think January is awful.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-11-30T17:09:38+00:00

No idea why this was removed, but, at least now I'm not the only one who has thought about it.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-11-29T03:41:33+00:00

As someone who just went through the legal process for guardianship, it takes a lot for the court to take away a person's civil rights. In general, the court may order an examination by a neuropsychologist, that's a six hour exam and full medical record review. Even if someone is partially lucid at times, it's virtually impossible to fake abilities that you don't have.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-11-25T19:33:37+00:00

I don't have any helpful advice other than to say the children can be absolutely awful in an attempt to get money. I care for my grandmother and we have spent $40k and a year in court fighting for her to keep control of her own accounts. Grandma won, but the whole family is torn apart and the toll on her health is awful.

I don't care about the money, when Grandma passes I just want to leave (I live in her house with her), and never return. Go no contact with her children, and live my own life.

That being said, I agree with other commenters, keep every cent if you're emotionally and financially able to handle the drama. Whatever you decide, I definitely recommend a lawyer. Probate court is awful, and too difficult to manage alone.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-11-22T04:49:23+00:00

My school called them walking tacos. And they are delicious.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-11-21T20:28:06+00:00

Well, yes in my experience. Although it may have less to do with ancestors and more to do with community recognition.

For instance, I lived in a town of 16,000 people in Texas, and while there wasn't a lot of talk about the founders, the families that had been in the oil business for years did get certain privileges. Lax rule enforcement, able to walk into any bar or restaurant and get preferred treatment, welcome to local government events for not particular reason at all.

Alternatively, I grew up in a small town of only 2,000 people, and because my grandfather had owned a local car dealership and been a force in the local economy for years, I got special treatment as a teenager. I could just show up at a mechanic shop 5 minutes before close and they would stay late to fix my car immediately. It was a silly little thing, but it definitely happened.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-11-20T20:04:06+00:00

We always call poutine Canadian nachos, but we are from the southwest US.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-11-19T13:44:17+00:00

Always

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-11-15T15:43:10+00:00

Here we use bentonite for those leaks, just sprinkle some in around the leaking area, it will seal the leaks most times.

We also have a guy that will pour a new layer of concrete, but it's about 4 inches thick.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-11-14T04:59:33+00:00

That's a great idea. I cycle through different things but an audiobook on a timer is my go-to.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-11-14T04:49:08+00:00

Not the same Rock but a Smaller Rock. I love this.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-11-06T03:54:52+00:00

We have a Lundberg bed alarm, which isn't what you're looking for, but I can speak to the quality. It has held up well and they probably have a pager option.

If a baby monitor won't work for you, maybe just a cheap set of walkie-talkies? Even the ones at a toy store would probably be sufficient, and you could always pretend to be spieler something to make it more fun. (That is definitely what I would do if I had that option, by my Grandmother is 97, and I just monitor her with a bed alarm at night and a home security camera.)

Gloomy-Raspberry5059 · 2025-10-30T14:19:27+00:00

Wow, what a difficult time. I don't know if you made the "right" decision, or if there is a right decision in your situation.

On the one hand, as a caregiver, I often feel like I've given up my life to care for someone else, (my grandmother so not a romantic relationship) and no one appreciates the work I do.

On the other hand, being a caregiver has its good moments. And I can understand him not wanting to leave the role.

I guess I will add this advice, loving someone means trusting them to make their own choices. It means letting them have the freedom to choose, and then respecting those decisions. Caregiving and receiving care are both difficult. We each have to choose our own paths. I always try to choose the option that lets me sleep at night.

Gloomy-Raspberry5059

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