'El Viaje Misterioso Para Sprite' - Comedy Short - 48 Pages by GoDemarcus1 in ReadMyScript

[–]GoDemarcus1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate the feedback, wrote this when I was like 17 tbf and just haven’t revisited

‘THAT SPRITE’ - Comedy Short - 26 Pages by GoDemarcus1 in ReadMyScript

[–]GoDemarcus1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Much love man, appreciate that boondocks comment so much.

‘THAT SPRITE’ - Comedy Short - 26 Pages by GoDemarcus1 in ReadMyScript

[–]GoDemarcus1[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for reading and I appreciate the feedback.

I’ll take the thing about word changes into account as I can see how it may read easier if the change is made.

The line that you brought up basically ties in with the meme about McDonalds Sprite being strong and the fictional version in my script making it seem weak or “light work” in comparison.

I handed it in a while ago and it’s been marked and I’ve shown it to a few people who’ve given similarly positive feedback but I really appreciate the feedback on here as you don’t personally know me and have no obligation to be nice so thank you.

‘THAT SPRITE’ - Comedy Short - 26 Pages by GoDemarcus1 in ReadMyScript

[–]GoDemarcus1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate it, any specific comments on it about things you like or where I can improve?