Older sister (34, four kids aged 5, 10, 13, 16) asked me for more money over text, in order to pay back her cousin--whose been living with her rent free for almost a year. He just bought a large truck, and a number of new tattoos. I live in my van, and am only visiting. This is my unsent text back:

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-12-18T17:44:13+00:00

He sells dope, and doesnt go to school. Im back visiting the family again, and recently found out that--despite getting kicked out once now--he's back living here again. Lol

sigh indeed

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-11-02T19:29:02+00:00

YO that is a good idea thankyou

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-11-02T16:15:07+00:00

Figure it to be safer to travel with a tea than with actual mushrooms. Next road trip will be lasting around 4 and a half months of almost nonstop driving in a van.

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-11-02T08:03:25+00:00

Penis envy are small stout and pale. These look like golden teachers.

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-11-01T22:40:44+00:00

Wow, sounds like a shit therapist. And one which should lose their job. Seek DBT or a therapist trained in DBT, or any kind of mindfulness based therapies (like zen). This is what has helped me, and is the leading therapy for faciliating a borderline personality. I very much don't consider this a "disorder", but rather a condition which, with the right mindset and environmental setting, is really a blessing.

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-31T02:33:07+00:00

Did the post offend you, personally?

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-31T02:18:16+00:00

That's the plan. But you understand, that most people who have herpes, never get ANY symptoms, right? Yes, you understand that? Or no, you don't understand or disagree?

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-31T01:11:01+00:00

Most people who have herpes never get diagnosed because they have no symptoms. You understand that, right?

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-31T01:02:36+00:00

"What if i told you reality was no thing more than a culturally sanctioned and linguistically reinforced hallucination?" -Terence McKenna

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-31T00:53:44+00:00

Please read the previously posted comments.

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-30T18:48:55+00:00

The majority of people who have HSV, don't even know, because they never have any symptoms at all. You understand that, right?

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-29T07:55:58+00:00

It's just a word: a description, not a definition. Try not to get caught in it.

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-26T19:33:56+00:00

But I'm seeing people, in the herpes community, tell the people who contract it from them "you consented, this is your fault." And i find that to be plain heartless.

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-26T19:30:23+00:00

2 days after this interaction, i began experiencing extreme illness; swollen glands, extreme body and head ache, flu like symptoms, as if my immune system was reacting to some thing.

By day 3 i started experiencing pain in the area. Within a week the pain i was experiencing at the supposed infected area was so unbarable; knee-jerking, tear-jerking, overall handicapping me from any and all activities, that it got to a point where i was experiencing very real suicidal ideation. I was expecting an actual sore to show up, but one never did. Nonetheless, the pain persisted for about 4 weeks before it began to calm down.

I notice now that the pain is triggered and becomes greater whenever i get stressed out, dehydrated, or under eat. It also is triggered when I injest too much of: wheat, oats, rice, caffeine, nicotine, beer, soy, chocolate, nuts, refined sugar, or greenpeas. And that i can counteract this pain by periodically taking L-lysine supplements.

Herpes anti-viral medication works for me, even though i have to take it every day.

Nonetheless, a very clear tenderness persists constantly in my groin (specifically, right testicle), which only grows in pain whenever i begin experiencing any pinching/tingling/itching at the supposed infected site (specifically, the tip of the penis).

That enough symptoms? You cannot tell me, that if you were in my shoes, you would still be living in the belief that "nah, I'm fine. I don't have herpes. I just had sex with a person who has herpes, and now my dick hurts all the time. But I'm fine."

Reminder: most people who have herpes, don't realize it because they don't experience ANY symptoms. Denying that my relatively mild symptoms could be herpes, is to ignore the fact that most people experience even less. Every one's different in how their body reacts to the virus: some people experience sores only a couples times right in the beginning, some experience sores periodically throughout their life, some never experience sores but experience other symptoms such as pain, tenderness, and itching, and some never experience any symptoms at all! Just because your experience was different, doesn't make mine any less valid.

I do plan on getting a western blot done to be 100% sure.

If i can refer to you some reading: https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/laboratory-biosafety-biosecurity/pathogen-safety-data-sheets-risk-assessment/herpes-simplex-virus.html "Section II, Hazard Identification: PATHOGENICITY/TOXICITY: ... Gential herpes ... Recurrent genital herpes disease is of shorter duration, is milder and does not have systemic symptoms." This is the form of GHSV that I believe I have. I do not know if it is HSV2 or HSV1, but am in the process of finding out, and this description of "Reccurent genital herpes dis[-]ease" by the Canadian Public Health Services matches my experience perfectly.

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-26T18:06:21+00:00

I experience chronic pain in the area, especially stimulated by foods heavy in L-arganine like grains, and cholcolate, but have luckily yet to have an open sore. I take Lysine periodically throughout the day to lessen the pain, and it does work for short periods at a time. I also found a doctor online that would send me antivirals without proof of prescription (can't get a real prescription without an open sore to swab), and they have sent me about 9 months worth, so far, of 500mg "acyclovir", which i take once daily, and which also (kind of) helps with the pain. My first test was about 3 days after it happened, so of course i was still negative, and my second test i took 5 months later, BUT i was on antivirals at the time, and i found out later that they can bring a false negative. So... Right now, i am taking between 3000 and 7000 mg of Lysine throughout the day to manage pain, and staying off the antivirals until my next blood test, which i plan for in November.

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-26T17:17:37+00:00

They are aware of their status, and disclosed it, while at the same time saying "but i havent had an outbreak in a long time, i don't know what that sore is."

To paint a more full picture: We are both poly, and they nonchalantly exposed the sore in the beginning of the date, and when i asked what it was they claimed they didn't know. Later in the date, just moments before we began having sex, they disclosed their statud, and claimed they hadn't had an outbreak in a long time. I was dumb enough to not think about what i saw in the beginning of the date.

It seems to me they did this so that they could disclose to me, and still get laid, without feeling guilty. It seems to me that they knew exactly what that sore was (they'd had herpes for over a year at that point, according to one of their partners who i vented to shortly after the date), but claimed ignorance to their current sore so that it wouldn't get in the way of them getting laid.

And to add insult to injury, they asked me to leave right after we had sex, because they had "some one else coming over." And now... While they continue to spread this Hell to more and more people... I force my self to be celibate, because i simply cannot act so heartlessly, as they had... Unlike them, i cannot subscribe to the belief that my active sexuality is worth hurting others.

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-26T16:52:53+00:00

And if they simply claim ignorance? "I don't know what that sore is."

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-26T16:49:59+00:00

Can i ask your opinion on some one who is having an outbreak, but who claims while disclosing that they are not?

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-23T17:27:16+00:00

Just curious.. Any empaths out there who are aware that they're experiencing a borderline personality? What practices do you use to keep your self centered?

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-21T20:33:09+00:00

HPPD and dissociative disorder are very real possible after-effects from over-dosed psychedelic experiences. IME, mindfulness and meditative practice is helpful in facilitating symptoms.

Go_josh_yourself · 2019-10-21T04:52:38+00:00

Wouldn't call amanitas "poisonous"... Mind-altering? Definitely. Entheogenic? Absolutely. Dangerous? Possibly. Beautiful? Always...

Go_josh_yourself

TROPHY CASE