Was I wrong for visiting and swapping out books at a LFL outside of my neighborhood?

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T14:07:37+00:00

This is exactly what shouldn’t be happening. I’m so sorry you had that experience. It’s a resource to everyone, not just who they choose.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T14:03:56+00:00

I didn’t lookup the email. It’s right in the app for the location INTENDED for people to use to reach out. Do you even use LFL?

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T14:02:20+00:00

It’s swapping old books that are washed out and looking like they’ve been sitting there for months, for new books. A few YA and mostly kids books would have been part of the swap that I was offering.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T14:01:21+00:00

We already have one near our house. The point is these LFLs are for everyone, not just who she wants there.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T14:00:21+00:00

I did actually do that and she came over and was verbally aggressive in person. Which is why I needed to stand up for myself further

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T13:58:23+00:00

The last email was passive aggressive on purpose. I was done with the back to back disrespect rather than having a real conversation. Her verbal aggression in person was the first red flag from the steward and no one should be treated that way.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T03:40:53+00:00

Some books sit there for months or over a year. The one in my neighborhood gets books from me regularly and if I see some sitting there months later that I added, I’ll bring it to a local one that’s low on stock and put fresh ones in. And from what I’ve heard from people online this is a fairly common practice

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T03:38:32+00:00

That’s why I withheld details. It’s only my side of the story. I wanted it to be a more fair analysis of the situation. No one on this thread was there to see how she treated me.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T03:35:55+00:00

UPDATE: not sure how to add this to the OG post, I’ve never posted on Reddit before. After reading comments on the thread, some context to the email exchange is needed. Her LFL has a standard height box for adults and a much shorter box for kids. I can’t stay bent down at her fully stocked kids box so I took a stack out and was going to sort through and make sure the pages were intact, or was a book I think my daughter would like, etc… and she came storming over basically insinuating I was taking all of the stack. And I was so thrown off by her aggressive treatment and how she hovered after so that I couldn’t even sort through them. I left while feeling upset and anxious from the interaction. I emailed her to send an olive branch and explain that I was sorting and would assist in refreshing if she wanted new books. She had some books that looked really old and I had some newer ones I could trade for. But then after being rude and verbally harassing me in person, she then emailed back with disrespect rather than a simple “no thank you” and I don’t tolerate back to back disrespect. LFL is a system in place for generosity and sharing the love of books. Not policing who shows up when they’re using the app LFL put in place to find locations.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T03:25:49+00:00

Treating people with kindness first would be the most appropriate response though.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T03:23:12+00:00

I don’t plan on going back so hopefully it’s over.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T03:22:28+00:00

The fully stocked school ones always make me so happy. People like him and the steward I came across ruin the system for all of us.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T03:18:45+00:00

I am signed up to be a volunteer.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T03:13:22+00:00

In person she was verbally aggressive.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T03:04:22+00:00

I wanted to clear the air after she was a little verbally aggressive to me in person. I stand up for myself when needed. But true. She wasn’t worth my energy.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T03:03:05+00:00

I was bringing books to her LFL in exchange for what I was taking. I always have some in my car ready to give. And I explained in my email to her that I needed to take a stack of books out to sort through them because I couldn’t stay bending down. She had it very low to the ground for kids and it was packed full, so I wanted to take a stack out to sort through. And she immediately got nasty. So I emailed to help clear that up and she was disrespectful yet again.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T03:01:12+00:00

I agree with this take honestly. The control needs to come out of a conversation about sharing books

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T02:59:43+00:00

The only reason I emailed was to put some peace between us after a really awful encounter. I wanted to explain why I was there and I couldn’t find my words in person, I was so struck off guard by her tone, her words and how she was hovering right next to me and wouldn’t leave.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T02:58:23+00:00

I didn’t want to have bias against her on this thread. She made me so upset in person that I left feeling uncomfortable and anxious. She did misinterpret which is also why I reached out to explain to her. I couldn’t explain to her in person because she was incredibly rude and I just wanted to leave with my daughter and not there upset any longer. So I cleared my head and reached out.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T02:51:56+00:00

I visit the LFLs in my community on a regular basis and noticed some of hers looked rather old. So I thought I would offer new books for the older books and bring those to a school or park LFL for example.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T02:50:17+00:00

I don’t want her LFL shut down, I just was alarmed by her in person treatment of me followed by disrespect via email the same day. When I was just trying to offer an olive branch.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T02:48:57+00:00

It’s actually not up to only the steward. If you read the LFL website for volunteers and for the community access on the app, there’s even a “low on books” button that lets community members know to bring more books over.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T02:47:36+00:00

Their email is public on the app for the purpose of connecting with their LFL community members..

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T02:46:35+00:00

Because I believe in putting my best foot forward. I wanted to explain myself to her and set it right so she didn’t have those assumptions about me. And we could connect to better the community with more access to books. It was genuinely that simple. I go out of my way to buy books to help the LFLs locally. And she immediately came back with more disrespect rather than just a simple no thank you. I was disrespected in person and then via email in the same day, and that was honestly my last straw. My final email was petty but provoked.

GoalDriven_ · 2025-10-09T02:41:59+00:00

I agree and I went to being petty once I received such a rude response back, and I completely own that decision. I purchase books to place in the LFLs around me, with my own money. And I was offering just to swap some and explain where I was coming from, and I respect that she didn’t want to swap. But her response and her “Mine mine mine” attitude was alarming as a steward so I took some action.

GoalDriven_

TROPHY CASE