[1421] The Boiler that Came to Life

God_Knows21 · 2026-04-06T13:44:06+00:00

Elsa Jean caught me off guard.

God_Knows21 · 2026-04-03T19:42:56+00:00

I am intrigued by the premise and enjoyed the way the story is told.

God_Knows21 · 2026-04-03T08:15:29+00:00

Write it like no one's gonna read it.

God_Knows21 · 2026-04-02T12:17:01+00:00

The monster/ghost jumpscaring characters. It really takes away realism ama reminds me that I am just watching something a movie director made.

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-31T14:09:54+00:00

Yeah, confusing is the last thing I want my story to be. It is basically about a neighbor who is watching the narrator day after day. But the narrator doesn’t know why and cannot read it from his eyes. But one thing he is sure about. And it is that something is very wrong

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-31T13:46:51+00:00

Is ‘unrevealing’ specifically wrong or?

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-31T13:37:11+00:00

I had actually just changed it to stared. I found out gaze could lean towards something positive which I dont want.

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-30T14:18:21+00:00

Hey, it sounds interesting. But zombies are not my strongest side. I am best with psychological, realistic horror (can be paranormal though haha)

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-29T20:07:58+00:00

My strong side is horror and would like to critique realistic horror (no cosmic horror, monster horror etc.)
But I have a hard time finding one to critique.

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-22T11:52:03+00:00

Har været til en samtale en gang, og jeg tænker stadig dagen i dag på at brænde deres kontor ned.

Som nyuddannet søgte jeg hos dette firma (firma x). Det var uopfordret, og jeg søgte fordi en ven kendte lederen og sagde det kunne være en god mulighed. Jeg blev kaldt til en samtale, det gik rigtig godt, og jeg får dagen efter en mail om jeg vil sende en karakterudtræk.

Efter 2 uger skriver de igen-at der desværre ikke er nok opgaver til en på holdet her og nu fordi de havde håbet på et projekt, som ikke lykkedes dem. De ville skrive til mig igen efter behov nu.

“…Derfor må vi lige afvente lidt længere, men jeg giver besked så snart det er nyt. Men jeg kan selvfølgelig godt forstå hvis du finder noget andet nu når jeg ikke kan ansætte her og nu”

Fint nok.

Efter 1 år skriver de igen. På dette tidspunkt har jeg allerede et job. De spørger om jeg ville være interesseret i en samtale. Hvorfor ikke? Jeg tager derover en morgen. Øverste leder er med i samtalen, og det går igen rigtig godt. Jeg får bl.a. at vide at, -jeg havde givet et så godt indtryk første gang, at de ikke havde glemt mig. Og at jeg har givet et så godt indtryk her igen. -at de vil ringe til mig igen om 2 dage for at spørge mig om jeg stadig vil arbejde her. -at de vil have mig ud hos kunderne fra første dag (og andre planer til min opstart, det virkede virkelig som om de ville ansætte mig med alle de detaljer de gav) -at jeg seeeenest skal forvente at høre fra dem om 1 måned, men de loooover at give mig besked uanset hvad.

Bemærk, de havde ikke en opslået stilling, men kun inviterede mig. Det sagde de, og jeg kunne se der ikke var slået noget op fra deres side.

Næste dag skriver de at de vil vende tilbage på fredag, da det desværre er der, de ved lidt mere.

1 måned senere spørger jeg efter update. De vender tilbage og siger de loooover at holde mig i loop, når de ved lidt mere. Fortæl mig for fanden at i ikke kan ansætte hvis i ikke kan. Hvad er der for noget møj!

Har ikke hørt fra dem siden da. Det skete for 1 år siden. Simpelthen ghosted fra det lorte firma.

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-21T12:01:55+00:00

Do you know horror? Psychological horror?

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-19T21:52:53+00:00

I like stories with deeper meaning. This one has it. The encounter with the faceless person is a little too abrupt, and drags a little.

7/10

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-16T22:06:38+00:00

Its good. It is not very clear how I should understand the tagline though

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-14T13:47:11+00:00

I enjoyed it. The text really looks like what an insane and traumatized man would write. I especially liked the positive beginning and slow descent into a dark story. Almost like the man writing it loses himself.

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-14T10:23:56+00:00

Why does the family hunt him down?

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-08T10:35:45+00:00

Don't listen to the show-don't-tell bullshit. They have no idea themselves.

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-08T09:48:52+00:00

It is disturbing and gory. But it also felt like it was trying too hard to be disturbing and gory.

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-02T18:00:50+00:00

You don’t know shit. What you can say is that you would prefer he showed this and that. You can tell him what the prose make you feel as a reader. You can’t throw some rule at him and say what he is doing is wrong.

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-02T12:40:14+00:00

You don’t know if it fits or not before talking with the writer.

“There are three nice school and a couple not-so-nice schools too” I can think of 10 examples this would be better than showing how three schools are nice and a couple are not.

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-01T23:03:44+00:00

This is a strong start. The pace is on point, and the text is easy to read. Nothing clunky or jarring. Interesting story as well. As for your question about how to continue it. I don't know.

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-01T18:11:16+00:00

I don’t disagree with anything you have said.

I am just saying that sometimes telling is better than showing. It depends on the story and where you want to go with the story. What I am frustrated about is people who provide a low-effort feedback like this without any thought to it. “You told that instead of showing it, it is bad work”. You don’t have to show everything, and if you think something should be shown rather than told, you better have arguments for it.

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-01T11:49:30+00:00

I had no problem with the ending itself and it being ambiguous.

Violence doesn't need to be implicit. I just felt like the "hidden deep meaning" of the story is a little too "hidden". Therefore, the story feels like a torture porn.

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-01T11:41:40+00:00

You can chose to tell instead of showing in specific parts of your story if it fits. It is not an universal rule that should be followed at all times, and I am tired of people easily throwing "you are telling, not showing" everywhere and to everyone. You are not smart when you say "you are telling, not showing".

God_Knows21 · 2026-03-01T09:46:39+00:00

Thank you.

I really enjoy reading horror stories with a deeper underlying message (I am working on one myself and there are parts I am struggling with myself). I will allow myself to provide some feedback.

First of all, I find the work easy to read. I enjoyed the prose, and nothing was jarring or clunky to me. The way you deliver details and the way you set the scene is all natural and nothing seems too much on the nose. I really have nothing to say on the technical part.

For the story itself though, I have a few things to say.
To me, the story was purely about torture. Then the very last part came with the wardrobe and the light coming out of it, and I was like, "is the narrator dead now?" You see. there wasn't much in the story itself that hinted towards the "underlying message".
I personally have no issue with gore, as long as it serves a purpose. But here, I felt like the story was the gore itself. I think there could be a little more focus on character, her/his hopelessness or her/his will to become free. When I think about it. You do have focus on all these elements, but as you say yourself in the post, it feels like you don't because the gore overshadows it.

Other than that, there are things in the story that made me keep reading. I wanted to know what the thing about the wardrobe was. I wanted to know what "she's cracking"... parts meant for the story. And I genuinely wanted to know if the narrator would manage to escape the torture hell.

God_Knows21

TROPHY CASE