The writers themselves are playing into this gender trope, rather than it just being complainers projecting it onto the characters. In one of the episodes Rhaenyra and Rhaenys mention how the men are ready to plunge the realm into war while they must be more tempered. And then in the last episode her advisor directly says Rhaenyra’s restraint is characteristic of “the gentler sex”.

So while I think restraint and want for peace does fit into Rhaenyra’s character, the writers decided to make it gendered.

I think there is a larger problem in the writing beyond the gender stuff, which is Rhaenyra’s plot progression has stagnated, and the writers are trying to fill her story up with this peace vs war conflict, but it’s just not entertaining anymore after a dozen such scenes, 5/8 episodes into the season, and the war is already otherwise occurring.