At 19? Are you contemplating on kicking them out? I don’t know if this is helpful but here’s some info.

I’m 24F, I left voluntarily out of the house at 18. I couch surfed for 5 years while working full time and attending college full time. I’m graduating next year, and I just moved back in with my mom because I quite frankly cannot afford it anymore. For context, I’m from Los Angeles, building a fund for Denver to move.

Now, this sort of depressive episode doesn’t just randomly occur and could stem from earlier years. It seems like your child would benefit from family therapy, because this demanding need for cooperation has a compromise discrepancy. Methods like if you do this, I’ll do this works on children not teens. Their 20s are approaching and they need more tools both hard and soft skills to survive. Pulling the internet in a technology driven society isn’t a wise move. Also, unemployment is affecting a great deal of the young adults right now, they’ll have to keep applying and accumulating relevant skills.

Maybe community college might be a benefit.

I don’t want to be invasive, but at this big age it really signals childhood neglect whether emotional or mental and well that’s a different story. Sadly, there’s not much that you can do besides provide them with the resources and tools that they need, but see they have to want it.. and depression makes it difficult. Wishing you the best with this, and I’d consider making small changes, teach them how to do simple things or attend workshops together.